If your son was being abused there could he tell you? Could he get outside help if he needed it?
If a labotomy would fix your son would you try it?
If you have given up and sent your son to Ivy Ridge, what makes you think that staff members who have not given birth to your son and have no vested long term stake in his future will be more patient than you?
When you did your research on this program did you look at all opinions? Did you ask to speak with parents of successful Graduates? (I'm sure they were paraded in front of you) Did you ask to speak with parents who removed the children from the program?
Have you thoroughly reviewed the qualifications of the staff?
Will your son eventually conform to get through the program? Or will the forced coercion one day inspire a true change of heart? Will this help bring you together as family 5 years from now or will this be a devisive wedge that always rips you apart?
Is your son smart? Do you want your son to learn how to be even more manipulative?
Do you believe that Pavlonian re-education is an appropriate means to change him?
Do you believe that the ends justify the means?
Will you be proud of your son if he stands up for himself and fights the program's manipulation and punitive reward system? Or would you be more proud if he caves in and pretends to work the program to graduate as a repressed sociopath?
Will this permanently kill the mother child bond? and If it did would you go through with it anyway?
Do you believe that you share in responsibility for anything that happens to him there?
I will keep your family in my prayers. I know that you love your son very much. Desperate and frightened parents do desperate things. Unfortunately many places like Ivy Ridge know how to market to desperate parents....that is their business....you are also probably WASP and middle class to upper middle class.....and fit their target niche squarely. You are still responsible for what happens to your son in there.......YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE TRUTH UNTIL HE IS AN ADULT AND FEELS SECURE THAT YOU CAN'T PUT HIM BACK IN A PLACE LIKE THAT AGAIN AND HE MAY HATE YOU FOR IT! From what I know about succesful recovery is that it starts with personal responsibility...........that can not be forced or coerced. You can't beat it into someone by controlling every facet of their life........you can't control his heart into submission. I pray that your son fights to keep his sanity and does not repress his hate, I pray that anger/hatred/fear does not torment him the rest of his life long after your parental responsibilities are finished.
[ This Message was edited by: Triangle Choke on 2004-07-13 15:05 ]