AARC

[Anonymous]

My daughter & I spent 10 months at AArc, have no regrets and totally support the program. It has changed our lives for the best.

[`]

yep, i guess things are great now that she is too afraid to say what she really thinks and you speak for both of you.

[Hamiltonf]

On 2005-04-10 17:04:00, Anonymous wrote:

"My daughter & I spent 10 months at AArc, have no regrets and totally support the program. It has changed our lives for the best."

And I have offered to meet such people before, but somehow it never pans out.  Send me a private e-mail and let's discuss how this miracle works.

[Dr Fucktard]

yep, i guess things are great now that she is too afraid to say what she really thinks and you speak for both of you.

 :roll:  :roll:  :roll:

[Sibling]

I also spent time in treatment with my family and it was the hardest 10 months of my life but I have never had such a relations ship with my family like I do today.
This program is a life saver for more then the child that goes in. It helped me get my life back and I am forever thankful for that.
This programs works for thoes who want to work it and thats the bottom line!

[Anonymous]

On 2005-05-02 15:07:00, Sibling wrote:

"I also spent time in treatment with my family and it was the hardest 10 months of my life but I have never had such a relations ship with my family like I do today.

This program is a life saver for more then the child that goes in. It helped me get my life back and I am forever thankful for that.

This programs works for thoes who want to work it and thats the bottom line!"

How long have you been out? You sound about like it was probably...last week??

Spilling out program language over and over won't save you...

And were you in there, or a sibling of yours? I don't know if you really know what goes on if you werent in there yourself. And the kids become too scared to say exactly what goes on because they're afraid of seeming dishonest, or like they're glamorizing their drug use, or trying to be manipulative, or any other number of horrible horrible things they tell you for simply trying to take care of yourself.

Getting kids to act in a way that makes the rest of the family at the expense of them being zombie-robots and having half of their thoughts cut off out of intense terror, is not really the way to go for therapy, IMO.

Good luck to you, time will tell time will tell...

[Sibling]

Well my family graduated in 1997. I am a sibling of teen who was in treatment. We are very close and she never had anything bad to say about AARC. She knows that it saved her life, she is happy to have had the chance to make a change in her life. She said it was hard and it was not fun at times but there is not another program that would have kept her sober. AARC is an important part of my famlies life and will always be.

[Anonymous]

Does she call herself names like selfish, self centered, lazy, a coward...

This stuff isn't good for a young girl's self-esteem.

Exactly where do you think they came up with this treatment method? At Harvard in a research study? Not exactly...try from a drug addict, who started his own cult and then tried to kill someone with a rattlesnake before people caught on to the fact that he was a little off. That's always a good way to find good therapy. But really, I wish your family the best. But know that there are many people that spend the next 20 years suffering from traumatic memories and nightmares.

[TheThrilla]

AARC never dealt with any issues reguarding my self-esteem. Instead they continued to deal with the drug aspect, and I still couldn't help feeling like a horrible person. Personally I don't think drug addiction was the main root of my problem, rather issues reguarding my self-esteem. As soon as I left AARC, I had begun to realize how much self-pity I was filled with. I looked for other psychological help and found it immediately, mostly to heal from the "aftermath" of AARC. I began to recover quickly from the emotional wreck and began working on my self-esteem. I think I feel the best I ever have and am extremely motivated. While I was in AARC I always thought about going back to my old life. Now I don't think twice about it. I have acquired confidence in myself to not think about, or do drugs or anything that would be detrimental to my self-worth.

[Anonymous]

I agree, focusing only on the "addiction" if there truly was one ignores the underlying issues. And shaming kids for having a problem like that only exacerbates the originating problem as well. And IMO, using behavioral conditioning to get kids to behave the way their parents and other adults *want* them to is like burying a ticking time bomb that will most likely go off at some point. Not that what the parents want is necessarily bad, but the fact that they are willing to sacrafice TRUE honest change for coercive change IS bad. What will happen when the conditioned fear wears off, or worse yet, someone charming and/or controlling comes along and takes the place of that authority figure in the person's mind? The person will have NOTHING to fall back on, no way to think for him/herself, no way to determine the appropriate course of action, no way to be introspective and self reliant. What then??

Bravo to you for working through all of that !!!

[Anonymous]

coerce: to cause to do through pressure or necessity, by physical, moral or intellectual means

Hmmmm just what parents do every day in order to get appropriate behaviour from their children.

The only coersion I underwent was when my parent told me I would no longer get money for my drug habit. While I was in AARC, we dealt with my addiction. But we also dealt with my abandonment by my father, my poor self image, the shame and guilt I had for the shitty things I did during my 10 years of using drugs every day. I was given responsibility, respect, invited into peoples homes to interact with their young children, and shown a positive way to live where I wasn't hurting people. 13 years later I am doing awesome, have written 2 books, have a 2 year old, well adjusted baby, a great marriage, good income and good friends. I worked my ass off for the last decade to get here, and AARC was the initial springboard, taking me out of my destructive lifestyle and giving me a safe place to work out my stuff, become responsible for my future. I could have walked away any time - I chose to get what I could out the experience. Was it fun? Sometimes, but not always. But it was better than the lonely, criminal existence I was living. I took what worked for me and ran with it.
Now I am "coersed" to work hard and get what I want because I like succeeding. Life is about being pushed to do better.
I feel compassion for anyone who felt they were harmed by their experience at AARC, but my experience did nothing but help me to do better.

[JessicaM]

DG, what are your books called?? Where can I buy them, I interested in reading them.

[Anonymous]

Jess, check your PMs

[Anonymous]

On 2005-05-03 20:25:00, Anonymous wrote:

"But we also dealt with my abandonment by my father, my poor self image, the shame and guilt I had for the shitty things I did during my 10 years of using drugs every day. I was given responsibility, respect, invited into peoples homes to interact with their young children, and shown a positive way to live where I wasn't hurting people.

Now I am "coersed" to work hard and get what I want because I like succeeding. Life is about being pushed to do better."

I am glad to hear that you are happy and things are going well. There is however a difference between learning that certain things are more helpful to your life than others, and in being told that you are shitty.

Why would you need such a harsh program unless you really were wanting to be horrible and didn't care about yourself or others. I think if you take a close look at your life up until things started to go badly, you will see a child who wanted to be loved and didn't feel that way. Did your parents know how to talk to you, and better yet, to listen??

It sounds like you learned how to take care of yourself and are now happy, which is good. I just question the means and the necessity of it being so condemning.

[Anonymous]

"I am glad to hear that you are happy and things are going well. There is however a difference between learning that certain things are more helpful to your life than others, and in being told that you are shitty. "

In response I was never told I was "shitty" or anything else that was demeaning.

"Why would you need such a harsh program unless you really were wanting to be horrible and didn't care about yourself or others."

I'm not sure what you mean by "harsh". The only thing that sucked was the food. Raps were "uncomfortable", but I was as honest as I could be, and would get things pointed out to me and asked how I felt. I would relate to others when they talked about something that was similar to my experience, or to give them support.

"I think if you take a close look at your life up until things started to go badly, you will see a child who wanted to be loved and didn't feel that way. Did your parents know how to talk to you, and better yet, to listen?? "

My parents were excellent communicators - my father and step fathers were both PhDs, Drs in Psychology, and my mother was a Speech Pathologist and later got her Masters in Psychology. We were a normal, middle-class family, and my brother and I turned out to be drug addicts. I certainly do not blame my parents!

"It sounds like you learned how to take care of yourself and are now happy, which is good. I just question the means and the necessity of it being so condemning."

I was a hard core career criminal. Today I am a productive, happy person. AARC was not "condemning" me and was not harsh towards me. I could have left anytime. The people were gret to me, especially once I was unclouded by years of drug use.