Freedom wrote:
He has again become one of my very closest confidants...See, I was convinced that we deserved it...til my precious children became teens and then I realized that I had been just a regular, normal, sometimes judgement impared teen, who so wanted to be loved.
I had no siblings in the program, I was the "bad girl". I am the eldest and even though my brother Jay was doing many things (shoplifting, B& Es, drugs), "boys will be boys", my father would just take him out back and beat him.
I had a stepsister Kim that did nothing wrong in her mother's eyes. My halfsiblings were living with my mom and were too young (7&5).
I have just begun to heal my relationship with my youngest sister.She and I have had many good times in the last 6 months and are grateful that we took another chance with each other.My mother has intentionally worked one person against the other. But we are now onto her games and keeping our own relationship away from her.
I also can relate to learning through my own teenager just how badly my life was altered because of the Seed. It was so nice to see him so involved in his HighSchool (class rep, NatHonorSoc officer, JROTC Lt & Commander, band member), even went to all of the plays at school to support his friends, all of the football games... He was able to have a very diverse group of friends.I never went to anything in HighSchool why would I? Just to place my self in a situation for more abouse? Not likely...had enough of those people in school.
In fact, somehow I have managed to raise a child that does not need to hide his feeling by doing drugs! But then again I actively did even thing differently than my parents ever thought of!I tried to make sure he was confident, felt good about himself and learned to walk to his own drumbeat. He just graduated from High school with a 4.8 GPA and has been admitted to New College!It is so wonderful for me that he will be living in the dorm, experience college years healthily, but still be in our town! Oh this mom is happy! LOL!!
I was so afraid for so long worrying about the teen years (even when I was preg. I worried about the teens to come... LOL).
I wish I had been able to feel as good about myself at his age! I truly feel that we had our teen years stripped from us. My son's friends are always around my house, and I think they are wonderful, even the "Eddie Haskel" clone (I love that kid...he has had it rough too at home and I am glad I was here for him!).
The worst damage i have done to my own son is that he still tells me he "loves me"....even when his friends are around!!! I think he helped to heal me as well.
I am glad your children have given you so much too! At least we have learned what not to do to our children!!! LOL
Take care, debi
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"...every five years I look back on my life and have a good laugh..."
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[ This Message was edited by: MommaDebi on 2002-07-23 05:45 ]