FREEDOM:"I have no need to re-hash the past as i was accused of this week, but I do have a desire to hear others who share my experience so I can gain understanding and heal."
My perception of this board is the same.
I am not on some type of pity trip.
I do think it is valid to attempt to understand that our feelings of isolation, fear, shame, guilt, and anger are real and a consequence of our experiences at "The Seed" indeed.
I, like many I realise now, had only smoked pot prior to entering the program. Of course I was called a "liar" and learned by other's examples to make my list much longer in order to be considered "honest". Of course when I did resume drugs...I did make the list real. LOL.
I am now sober almost 21 years.I submit that the person I am now is the sum of the experiences I have had in my life. Good and Bad, along with the way I choose to respond to them.I do happen to like myself now. It took a very long time to deprogram myself from the emotional abuse I suffered at the hands of my father. At least I honestly know who I am now.
While as a parent, I understand the feelings of fear our parents must have had...their choice was more harmful, I think, than the consequences our behavior might have been. It is nice to know that I am not alone in feeling that I was betrayed in my youth by those that were supposed to be helping and protecting me.
I am sorry to rant on, but I thought this was a place of acceptance, not judgement of each other, did we not do too much of this destructive behavior in group?
I thank all of you for being here and listening. I am very glad I found this site. It has helped me to be more open about my experience with my son and my husband. Perhaps they understand a bit more about my more extreme views of my life.