Author Topic: Open Letter to Fundy Xtian Posters  (Read 1497 times)

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Offline Trekker Jag

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Open Letter to Fundy Xtian Posters
« on: March 15, 2004, 11:57:00 AM »
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. Since you posted anonymously and I am unable to personally thank you I have posted this open letter to express my gratitude. I have learned a great deal from your posts, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific Bible laws and how to follow them:

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality? I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)?

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.



_________________
Miller & Mel--Burn in Hell

[ This Message was edited by: Trekker Jag on 2004-03-15 09:04 ]
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iller & Mel--Burn in Hell

Offline Anonymous

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Open Letter to Fundy Xtian Posters
« Reply #1 on: March 15, 2004, 12:46:00 PM »
:lol: You can play football it's not pigskin anymore....is it??
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Offline GregFL

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« Reply #2 on: March 15, 2004, 01:05:00 PM »
This has been floating around the web for some time.

Funny but right on target about how silly the bible can be in the context of 2004

Now, in 1000 BC, I am sure it made a lot of sense to superstitious pre modern man.
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Offline Carmel

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« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2004, 02:46:00 PM »
Excellent point Trekker....

I also like to ask people who believe that the story of Adam and Eve is literal....if they, by the same token, believe that  as in Revelation....a huge nine headed monster will rise out of the sea and kill us all by breathing fire from its ass.  Or at least something to that effect.....
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Offline Dr. Miller Newton

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Open Letter to Fundy Xtian Posters
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2004, 02:54:00 PM »
I pity anyone foolish enough to doubt the Word of the Scriptures.

Sincerely,
Father Cassian Newton
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Teenage Drug Use Is A Disease

Offline Therion

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« Reply #5 on: March 18, 2004, 09:20:00 AM »
Thats fucking heeeeelarious!! I love it.. :lol:  :lol:
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aving the way for the new breed of bad seed

Offline The Motivator

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« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2004, 12:44:00 AM »
That was insightful as it was hilarious.

What about Dinosaurs? The Bible places creation roughly 12K ago and were all of the fossils and the Grand Canyon put here just to fool us?..............hmmmm
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quot;Let\'s have a song\"

Offline Therion

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« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2004, 01:01:00 AM »
I was raised...a Baptist..after my parents decided to switch from being Methodists..(Oh honey, we are Baptists now)
 
And when I was 10 years old I started asking questions..and didnt like the half ass answers..

Even as a child I could tell it was alot of bs..
Why grown ups feed in I have no idea...wait yes I do...FEAR

Thats the biggest Motivator in religion..
People cannot accept the fact that like any other living thing we die (what makes you think youre so fucking special that you live on forever but roaches, dogs, trees dont??)

 Typical selfish humans..."We are at the top of the food chain..our soul lives forever" *drools*

 Humans are the nastiest most destructive creatures ever to breathe air (Other than virus')
 *well I suppose a virus doesnt breathe but you get my point..


_________________
 Never thought before, a life could be so strange, but it is
And I guess my one a day, became ten or twelve or more, and more
But I've got a gift, it's something called my friends or love
With them and I combined, I'll beat an early end

[ This Message was edited by: Therion on 2004-03-18 22:02 ]
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aving the way for the new breed of bad seed

Offline GregFL

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Open Letter to Fundy Xtian Posters
« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2004, 07:43:00 AM »
You are on to something there Therion.

As humans, we are blessed with enough grey matter to figure out complex scientific and mathematical puzzles, yet we are cursed with too little brainpower to understand our own mortality. Therefore, we as a group invent fantastic supernatural alternative scenarios  to our death where  we live forever and other people are punished eternally by a supernatural being that always knows everything we are thinking.

What a weak bunch of shit.



[ This Message was edited by: GregFL on 2004-03-19 04:44 ]
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Offline Froderik

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« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2004, 10:29:00 AM »
Greg and Therion:

It's good to know that there are some sane people left in the world. Time's a little tight, and I can't think of anything else to say, so I'll just leave it at that for now.
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