Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Troubled Teen Industry
so when is it ok to force your children to do what the paren
Froderik:
--- Quote --- Iwill do what ever necearry to make them do as I wish.
--- End quote ---
And hopefully, someday, if and when you try to do something terrible to your kid, THE LAW will step in and STOP YOU.
What you're saying is that you'd willingly abuse your kid if necessary to get them to knuckle under to you...if you're so into religion, why don't you ponder this one for a while -
"Let Go & Let God"
(I know, they said it in straight, so what..)
Anonymous:
I suspect the freako who started this thread is a troll, but the original question was worth answering---along with the warning that kids grow up, they don't forget what you did to them, they don't automatically agree with what you did and why you did it, and if they vehemently disagree, they can and will cut you out of their lives.
Program parents should take the strong disapproval of general society for what they do as a warning that their grown children may agree with general society in that strong disapproval---program parents are risking the permanent loss of affection and contact with their offspring.
I had a grandmother who wondered why I was very, very seldom around her after I grew up. It was because when I was a kid she'd treated me (and others) quite badly. I didn't like her, and I didn't want to be around her.
I spent more time around her at the end because her behavior towards others had improved a lot, but for a long time I just didn't want her in my life---and for good reasons.
The adults your kids will be are already pretty much set in their teens---if they already show signs of not agreeing with your religion or politics or social set, chances are that's going to only get, well, more so, after they're out of your house.
If you try to force them into the mold as teenagers that you haven't been able to ease them into with their whole childhood to raise them, you lose them.
If you're cool with that, you might as well let them move into your ex-spouse's or grandma's or neighbor's house and quit talking to them and avoid the rush.
It's cheaper, and gives you the same outcome in the long run.
Cayo Hueso:
--- Quote ---On 2004-01-28 09:38:00, Anonymous wrote:
"I suspect the freako who started this thread is a troll,
--- End quote ---
I think you're right.....I posted saying that I've been through the same thing and for Anon to PM me if they really wanted info or help...haven't heard a thing.
It is the old practice of despots to use a part of the people to keep
the rest in order; and those who have once got an ascendency and possessed themselves of all the resources of the nation, their revenues and offices, have immense means for retaining their advantages.
--Thomas Jefferson to John Taylor, 1798
--- End quote ---
Anonymous:
Yeah, me thinks this is a bogus thread started by someone trying to divert attention away from other threads. The question is WHY? See any current topics of discussion about the Teen Help Industry that someone might want to disappear into the archives?
:rofl:
Anonymous:
The bottom line is that any parent intent on controlling their child rather than guiding and teaching them will end up in conflict with that child. The parent, in this situation, creates the problem, and because they have the checkbook, they get to excersise the ultimate control. (Talk about a self -fulfilled prophesy.) Does this parent care if they ever have a real relationship with their child? I suspect they don't. It is the nature of the control freak to be emotionally detached. An honest relationship requires that you give up control.
It is very sad that there are so many people out there who still believe that they can own someone. We do not own our children. Children are given to us, for a short time, to prepare them for whatever life brings. This, of course, is done by example. The child learns to manage life by WATCHING the parent. Parents need to look in the mirror and ask themselves:
How do I deal with conflict?
How do I deal with anger?
How do I deal with trust?
How do I deal with addiction?
How do I deal with relationships?
How do I deal with honesty?
How do I deal with disappointment?
How do I deal with fear?
Chances are that your children respond to these issues the same way.
I have seen what happens to children when they are controlled rather than nurtured. They become stifled; they lose their voice. It is the worst kind of parenting. A child will not express their feelings in a healthy manner to a controlling parent - NEVER! They will express it in an unhealthy manner because the parent reacts and responds in an unhealthy manner. Most of the time, a child will express their feelings through behavior - unhealthy behavior.
I have also seen families terrorized by a controlling child. Good parents do sometimes have problem children. This is, in my opinion, the exeption and not the rule!!!!!! In this situation, I do feel that once all at -home- therapy for the child and family have failed, that this child should be removed from the home. No child should be allowed to destroy a family.
In this situation, it is the child who is in control which makes the decision to send them away a very painful one for the parent, and this parent must learn, usually through therapy, to break the hold that the child has over them. If they don't, they are wasting their money.
No matter how you cut it, it is the parent who is the key to the destruction or success of a child. Parenting is a responsibility- not a right. If your child is not successful, it is because you have failed in giving them what they need. It is your responsibility to give a child what they need - not the other way around.
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