Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Troubled Teen Industry
Spots and Deberahs Family Dynamics?
Carey:
--- Quote ---Deborah - You are missing what I just said. The KID has to buy into any help.
--- End quote ---
Are you saying that if the kid does not buy into it then it is ok to force it upon him?
Anonymous:
No, Carey. Forcing therapy on someone is pointless. Giving them an opportunity to do it, is different. A parent may have consequences in place if the child is non-compliant - let the child also choose the consequences - loss of car, tv, computer, something they want to keep. If it doesn't work - in most cases, it won't, then give them some options - in writing, and have them sign it. One of those options could be going to live with grandma, let them know you have been considering sending them to a boarding school. Problem is parents will keep giving chance after chance, and not following through with the consequences. What does that tell them about life and rules in general?
Rebuilding communication, if it's still controllable, is always key. Threats don't work, the teen has to understand there are consequences to skipping school, breaking curfew, or what would be considering "testing the waters."
It can go way beyond normal stuff quickly. ADDers are a high risk behavior personality and self-medicating, running away, unprotected sex, anger don't respond to consequences unless there's consistency and a responsiblity on their part to change their behavior.
If the teen is unwilling to work with a therapist, then I'm saying that more drastic measures may be warranted. Sending them to an overnight juvenile justice center stay, a short term program of some type, or if that doesn't work, a long term treatment center.
Anonymous:
The Question is still out for Spots and Deborah,
Who Has Custody?
It a simple question please answer.
Anonymous:
"No, Carey. Forcing therapy on someone is pointless."-
BINGO! It looks like that settles it.
WWASP is pointless. Anything a kid has to be kidnapped (I mean "escorted") to is coercion. True unconditional love and patience and guiding the child to set their own rules works. It may not be an overnight breakdown of personality, but it will work. If a teen is failing school ask them what they think they should do in order to do better. And they're actually smart enough to figure it out. Help them live by rules that they help make. Read "Coercion and it's Fallout" by Murray Sidman. The part about the mice is very interesting. You can conclude that once the lid is off the maze (programs) and the kids no longer have to deal with the punishment they will always associate the punisher with the punishment (including the parents that sent them there.) They really learn nothing about decision making, or living in loving families. They learn to avoid punishment even if the act they are being punished for was actually life sustaining. They learn to not care about their own desires, just to avoid punishment. It's a scary way to go through life, but hopefully they will eventually meet normal people and have loving relationships and learn about stable, loving families in their lives outside of coercive programs.
Anonymous:
http://www.intervention.com/servsfi.html
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