We will never come to terms with Elan...Or I speak for myself. What is done is done.. You can't remove what Elan has done. There are scars on me from that whole incident. But what I have come to terms with, is blame. I dont blame my parents anymore & I dont blame my mom. I dont know who posted it, but I give credit to my next few sentences to an anonymous writer here on this forum that said..something of what influences me to say, I blame no one. Not even myself. I just thing Elan was like some kind of fucked up destiny planned for me, to hold me, help me? Stear me away from bad I was digging in to. If I could blame anyone I blame myself. I do blame my family for lack of communication, sheltering hovering me. Which lead to certain behaviors... But anyways.... :silly: Elan was like a "holding cell"...in its sick way, the only way I could come to terms, is when Elan is shut down, staff realizes they are hurting more than helping, and things like that occur all over the world.