I think 'Intellectualization' is one of those words that can be confusing because people have different definitions of what it means. I had to look it up on one of my favorite online sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intellectualization just to make sure we were talking about the same thing.
According to wikipedia:
Intellectualization is a defense mechanism where reasoning is used to block confrontation with an unconscious conflict and its associated emotional stress, by 'using excessive and abstract ideation to avoid difficult feelings'.[1] It involves removing one's self, emotionally, from a stressful event.
Gee, you've had a lot of stressful events recently in your life, and since you are highly intelligent (
"I was always a pretty bright kid" per this post
viewtopic.php?f=22&t=37760) I think it is natural that you used your intellect as a defense mechanism while in program. I don't think that's a bad thing. They were trying to break you down and get into your head, mess w/ who you are as a person, and you rightly resisted that. Also, I suspect that you may have resisted showing raw/real emotions or revealing your true self because you feared that information would only be used against you.
I know from you posts that you have empathy for others and you said in your introduction thread that
"I have a heart". So, I assume you feel emotions like anger, resentment, fear, joy, love, etc. Are you able to express those feelings satisfactorily when you are in circumstances where you feel secure and accepted? I can understand a reluctance to express them fully in situations where you felt insecure or threatened, or were with people you didn't know well.
Does this describe you?
Intellectualization is one of Freud's original defense mechanisms. Freud believed that memories have both conscious and unconscious aspects, and that intellectualization allows for the conscious analysis of an event in a way that does not provoke anxiety.
Intellectualization is a 'flight into reason', where the person avoids uncomfortable emotions by focusing on facts and logic. The situation is treated as an interesting problem that engages the person on a rational basis, whilst the emotional aspects are completely ignored as being irrelevant.
You said in one of your other posts that you have social anxiety so intellectualization may be one of your coping mechanisms. As you gain confidence in yourself and surroundings wouldn't your anxiety decrease and perhaps then you would feel more confident in expressing emotions?
On the other hand, some people have an entirely different definition of Intellectualization. Some seem to live their lives based upon emotion rather than reason. Much like lower animals they feel: cold, heat, hunger, pleasure, lust, etc. and they seek to satiate those appetites with little or no regard for the consequences.
In this vein I think emotions are an important part of what makes us human, but alone emotions are a poor guide to decision making. I believe reason is superior to emotion. It's okay for emotions to inform the decision making process, but in the end it should be reason that has the final say.
In closing, you are an intelligent, caring young man with an amazing future. Hug a friend, watch a sunset, and enjoy your life. :cheers:
