Author Topic: Introduction  (Read 3062 times)

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Offline Froderik

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Introduction
« on: January 23, 2011, 11:38:16 PM »
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin?

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline none-ya

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2011, 11:56:24 PM »
Quote from: "Froderik"
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin?

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.


Sounds like your typical midwestern upbringing to me.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Froderik

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fucking spam motherfuckers
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2011, 10:05:29 AM »
I can't complain..
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline seamus

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2011, 11:44:49 PM »
The original post is so .........bizzare.....and so random that im just .....dumbfounded......and amazed :eek:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
It\'d be sad if it wernt so funny,It\'d be funny if it wernt so sad

Offline Froderik

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2011, 10:27:17 AM »
I don't know, i think I had a relatively normal childhood.

 :spam:  :rasta:  :beat:  :jerry:  O0
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline none-ya

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #5 on: January 25, 2011, 06:47:25 PM »
Fourth time reading it and still LAUGHING OUT FUCKING LOUD!!!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #6 on: February 27, 2011, 01:29:43 AM »
Quote from: "none-ya"
Fourth time reading it and still LAUGHING OUT FUCKING LOUD!!!

none-ya it's past your bed time moron.  STFU
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Botched Programming

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #7 on: March 24, 2011, 09:15:56 AM »
Quote from: "Froderik"
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin?

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

You go Dr. Evil from Austin Powers.... LMAO :seg:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline D. Bryan Odd

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #8 on: May 08, 2011, 06:27:31 PM »
I am not Brian Dodd.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
I am NOT Brian Dodd.

Offline Anonymous

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #9 on: May 17, 2011, 11:23:24 PM »
.
« Last Edit: February 03, 2012, 11:22:34 AM by Anonymous »

Offline Botched Programming

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #10 on: May 29, 2011, 12:19:49 AM »
:bump:  Just for another laugh!!!!  :seg:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »