Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Hyde Schools
PLEASE HELP!!! Should I send my son to Hyde???
none-ya:
--- Quote from: "Samara" ---The Hyde programs are ALL the same. Screw programs. Seriously. Be creative. And dump your dumb ass therapist who thinks warehousing is the answer. Build on his strengths. Maybe find an ADD counselor who specializes in helping him build tools/strategies. Don't treat him like a problem. Lead with love and not with fear.
--- End quote ---
You said it much nicer than I did.
AMEN!!
Ursus:
--- Quote from: "molly" ---I greatly appreciate everyone's response. It looks like Hyde-Woodstock is a nefarious place and, hence, my family will no longer pursue it as an option. I'm wondering if anyone knows if Hyde-Bath (the school with which my son's therapist has familiarity) is of the same dark ilk? Should I consider that branch of Hyde or stike Hyde in its entirety from consideration?
--- End quote ---
Bath begat Woodstock. If anything, it has even more skeletons in its closet, having accumulated them for a longer period of time.
Samara is right. The two campuses are essentially the same, with but small variation depending on the mix of people at any given time. Admins and faculty sometimes switch campuses, and I seem to remember hearing, about a year or two ago, that they were planning to implement switching the students around on some regular basis to make the two campuses more cohesive (all part of that "Hyde experience"). There may also have been other motivations for this musical chairs scenario. Whether this plan actually got off the ground, I have no idea.
--- Quote from: "molly" ---Now for my question: should it be the case that he gets kicked out of the school he is now in, where might I send him that is healing and that would befit a sensitive but lost kid?
--- End quote ---
Have you considered the possibility of him taking a year or two off from school until he can get his act together or grows out of his funk? Presuming it's feasible (I don't know what the laws are in your state, not to mention your son's age), he'd graduate high school a year or two later than he would normally, but that's hardly the end of the world.
Ideally, he'd have to hold down a job during that interim while not in school, and perhaps paying you a small stipend for his room and board. That might help him focus, give him some positive feedback in holding down that job, and motivation to finish his schooling since the job prospects without a high school diploma have a rather low ceiling as far as hourly wages go.
Just a thought, fwiw, which may or may not be appropriate in your case...
none-ya:
Molly,
Does your know what you are planning?
molly:
Thank you to all who have responded.
My 13-year-old, 8th grade son cannot be out of school according to state laws. The therapist he is seeing is an ADD therapist. We've run out of educational options (both public and private) except for a school where extremely dangerous kids are warehoused and which is rife with substance abuse and violence that includes an occasional knifing. I'm not leaving any stone unturned. Besides Hyde, the therapist has suggested hospitalization because of my son's temper. While it has not happened in several months, he has beaten me severely. I am smaller than he is and I cannot defend myself from him.
I am most certainly not a bot. I am a despondent mom. I think that by accident I stumbled upon a forum here that is primarily for people who have been terribly hurt by their educational experiences. I thank everyone for their caring responses and wish everyone the best.
Molly
Samara:
One problem a lot of these therapeutic (which is a BS marketing term) "schools" have is that they overstructure not only your time but also your mind to such an extent that you CANNOT duplicate it in the real world and then you fall apart. The program's structure is NOT real world structuring. In the program I went to, every single second was accounted for down to shower minutes. Every second was taxed by "emotional" work (which was just crazy psychodramas that are discarded by real therapists) and chores and hard physical labor from the early am to bed time. You were so emotionally and physically spent you actually could sleep at night on a regular schedule. Sounds good, right? Well, no, every person I knew fell apart afterward because in the real world, you don't participate in heavy group psychodramas for four hours every other day right after four hours of running a mile and back several times chopping wood, hauling wood, sawing branches, etc...It's hard to explain. Even your "non working time" was not free time because it was really an extended period of social indoctrination. But real life imposes its own structure when you work. In a program, they are not only taking inventory of your time, but your thoughts and feelings. And not in a good, reflective way. In any event, one of the biggest immediate issues by far was that kids fell apart in the real world because program structure is NOT analogous to the structure of daily living and responsibilities. Kid leave and are at a TOTAL loss. The program ultimately disempowers the kids.
There is also no opportunity to learn from mistakes because you were always terrified.
So the "give your kid the structure he needs" is one of big bowl of therapeutic malarkey.
Read Driven to Distraction and Delivered from Distraction - books by a top doc with ADD. It is more solution oriented -especially the last one.
Another good book is The Defiant Child by Jeffrey Bernstein. The title is a bit of a misnomer in many ways because its really about parents changing their approaches and making loving choices (not to be confused with enabling) over fear based choices. Some of the skills are counter-intuitive but work with consistency. It's not an ADD book, but it does help with approach and perspective.
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