Kady, if there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that you are not alone in feeling that way. I often wonder what it (I) would have been like if I had never been subjected to straight. And then, like you, I also wonder if it's just something to do with me. Sometimes (maybe not enough) I feel sorry for my wife having to put up with the likes of me.
When speaking of survivors as a whole, we can say that the program messed a lot of us up really bad when we might have stood a chance if it had never happened to us. But only you & I & each and every one of us can really answer that question for themselves. Much easier for some to do than others. I can say this much...it put me at odds with my family on more than one occasion. Allowed me to be put into some life threatening situations, while they told me I was "chemically dependant" and that I would DIE without their 'support.' But in any case, the only way we have to move is forward. It's ok to look back as much as you want, but just keep on doing whatever it is that you can do to make your life better for YOU, and in turn, those around you...
[ This Message was edited by: Froderik13 on 2003-10-27 19:27 ]
