I'm sure we've touched on this before, but can't recall exactitudes.
Let's say you have a teen who does not use drugs recreationally or for expansionary purposes. They are just a straight out out lying stealing wacked out meth head. Now, I am of the opinion that you can't really truly help them unless there is some part of them that wants help. But if one of my kids had a serious life threatening personality altering drug problem - not just the usual curiosity factor - what the hell am I supposed to do? Watch? because that would kill me.
I watched my niece go through bad meth addiction - she was like a different person. She wasn't on it to expand herself, transcend anything, or trip the light fantastic. She wasn't simply a pot head. It fucked up her unborn baby. It fucked her up. It took years to earn any trust back. It changed her fundamentally in a way she will never get back, no matter how long sober now. She went from being unusually innocent and undeveloped for her age to ... forever hardened.
So what do you do? I mean, I can be as involved as I am, as candid as I am, as present and loving... but it's not infallible. I can allow natural consequences to teach them... I can deal with defiance, oppositionalism, non conformity,experimentation.... but what do you do when they are about to fall over the rabbit hole ... if you are opposed or distrustful of authority or "programs" What do you do when you have a kid who desperately, desperately needs help?
I think of my brother (heroin/homeless for years) and my niece (shot liver at 30). What if it were one of mine? I am a mother first, foremost, and last... what do you do?
