Author Topic: It's Xmas time again  (Read 1940 times)

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Offline Sam Kinison

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It's Xmas time again
« on: December 10, 2010, 12:13:39 AM »
Having spent two Decembers,1977 on Second Phase,and,1978 on Fourth Phase,as a member of the lost warehoused tribe of adolescents then known as Straight Incorporated,like many of us,CHRISTMAS CAROLS MEAN NOTHING MORE TO ME THAN A BUNCH OF FLASHBACKS!!!!
This December,I decided to take a positive,therapeutic step to resolve this twisted episode of PTSD and the Fornits board is going to help.I hope I don't bore the shit out of anyone so they consider suicide or anything like that.Please consider that I will use this thread to help cope with some not so pleasant memories.
I have decided that every time I hear a Christmas song that reminds me of the warehouse,I will rewrite that song and post it on this thread.This isn't for humor.This is to get stuff out.Right now,Winter Wonderland and God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen have sent me off into a time warp far enough to give Rocky Horror's Riff Raff an erection so those will be the first two on the hit parade.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Sam Kinison

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Re: It's Xmas time again
« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2010, 08:03:45 PM »
Here We Go....Winter Wonderland.......December 1978

Being brainwashed and tormented
Living a nightmare so demented
It's happening again
It's not going to end
They're never going to let me out of Straight
Looking across the room I see the first-phasers
Fifteen months ago they were me
Look at all those desperate faces
They all look the same to some degree
If this is me a year later
who will i be in the future?
A horrible ride
my spirit has died
they're never going to let me out of Straight.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline seamus

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Re: It's Xmas time again
« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2010, 08:53:04 PM »
now THATS fucking theraputic.......... :rofl:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
It\'d be sad if it wernt so funny,It\'d be funny if it wernt so sad

dragonfly

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Re: It's Xmas time again
« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2010, 11:38:40 AM »
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Sam Kinison

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Re: It's Xmas time again
« Reply #4 on: December 15, 2010, 01:48:14 PM »
Album???You're really wanting me to get over it!As far as the Semblers being Jewish,I'm pretty sure it's Mel yes,Betty no.Reason being having attended Admiral Farragut with youngest son Greg,I distinctly remember him identifying with the other Jewish cadets,like myself,then giving thanks to Jesus when leading grace at lunchtime.To anybody who has ever seen her,they will agree,there is nothing Jewish about Betty Sembler's look or demeanor.When it comes to the Semblers being Jewish,when it's convenient,they are and of course when it's not,theyre not.Coming up next.........God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen and Jingle Bell Rock.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline none-ya

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Re: It's Xmas time again
« Reply #5 on: December 15, 2010, 03:29:22 PM »
BECAUSE EVERY DAY WE'RE STRAIGHT IT'S LIKE CHRISTMAS!!![attachment=0:vh3oix7q]SANTA.jpg[/attachment:vh3oix7q]
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
??~@

Offline seamus

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Re: It's Xmas time again
« Reply #6 on: December 15, 2010, 08:27:38 PM »
Yeah and judiasm is matriarcal....Ever day is like christmas....ecchhhkkkk...I gotta go fuck some broken glass now. Theres no place like hell for the holidays, If your straight and you know it (suck my dick)......now wheredd I put the bourbon?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
It\'d be sad if it wernt so funny,It\'d be funny if it wernt so sad

Offline none-ya

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Re: It's Xmas time again
« Reply #7 on: December 15, 2010, 11:12:33 PM »
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline none-ya

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Re: It's Xmas time again
« Reply #8 on: December 15, 2010, 11:28:34 PM »
[attachment=0:2apvrr88]HO HO HO.jpg[/attachment:2apvrr88]
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline none-ya

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Re: It's Xmas time again
« Reply #9 on: December 16, 2010, 12:40:37 AM »
A Druggie Christmas

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twas the night of the party
And all through the town
No cops were a stirrin'
No *pigs* were around.

The joints were all rolled
And piled in stacks...
In hopes that by midnight
We'd be blown to the max!

We drank Seagram Sevens
And smoked Panama Reds,
While visions of munchies
Danced in our heads.

Then all of a sudden
Came a knock at the door,
We all yelled "PIGS!"
And dove to the floor.

Yet what to our red glazed
Eyes should appear,
But a pound of Columbian
And TWO kegs of beer.

The man at the door
Just gave us a smile,
So we invited him in
To party awhile.

He sat in the corner
And started to roll
So we filled up his glass
And lit up a bowl.

We then heard him say,
(As he flew to the sky)
"Merryjuana to all...
And to all, a good high!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline 85 Day Jerk

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Re: It's Xmas time again
« Reply #10 on: December 16, 2010, 01:48:18 AM »
I have a really twisted view of what Christmas has become in this country.  My idea of the ideal woman is Janeane Garofalo, because I know where her humor is coming from (she is due to star in a new spin-off series called Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior probably around Feb sweeps week) I use humor to vent anger as well.  I found this next thing a few years ago and CANNOT BELIEVE it is still there, but it is a classic, and I apologize ahead of time if it offends anyone.    http://http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/jeebus/default.php
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Inside a warehouse behind Tyrone Mall
we walked in darkness, kept hitting the wall.
I took the time to feel for the door,
I had been \"treated\" but what the hell for?

Offline seamus

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Re: It's Xmas time again
« Reply #11 on: December 17, 2010, 04:54:34 AM »
hey MY ideal woman is either ZOE BELL or that fucking crazy hot Rose Mc Gowan......dunno Im one sick fucker though......
All that Grindhouse shit fucked me up............. :nods:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
It\'d be sad if it wernt so funny,It\'d be funny if it wernt so sad

Offline Woof-a-Doof

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Re: It's Xmas time again
« Reply #12 on: December 19, 2010, 06:04:59 AM »
The title came to me, but not the words. I will allow for others with a bit more wit take over from here. And the title is....

"Away in a Warehouse" (Ya know, 'Away in a manger')

w/d
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Sam Kinison

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Re: It's Xmas time again
« Reply #13 on: December 19, 2010, 10:21:25 AM »
I don't about having more wit,but I'll put my improvisational skills together and give it a shot

To the tune of "Away in the Manger"

Cooped up in a warehouse
My ass in a sling
Surrounded by morons
Who say the same thing

They say that it's love
All I sense is fear
the only true goal is
to get out of here

Namaste
Pura Vida
PS....My ideal woman was this performer named Candy an the Mons Venus
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline seamus

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Re: It's Xmas time again
« Reply #14 on: December 19, 2010, 02:29:20 PM »
Heavens to Joe Rudner, mos venus....ya dont say?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
It\'d be sad if it wernt so funny,It\'d be funny if it wernt so sad