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Author Topic: The alleged suicide of B. N.  (Read 3201 times)

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Offline wesfager

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The alleged suicide of B. N.
« on: April 28, 2002, 03:41:00 PM »
Somebody recently made this post on Kathy's forum in a thread dealing with AARC:

"B@*#n N@#ls name into this he chose his own way out and AARC had nothing to do with that.His parents had no resentment towards AARC when they asked Dr.V to speak at his funeral. I was there."

Who was B. N.?  I understand he had been in KIDS?  Which one?  Why did Dean Vause speak at his funeral if he had been in Kids? Has Dean Vause spoken at the funeral of any other Kids' program clients?  Does anyone know about anything about suicide or suicide attemtps or body carvings of any former Kids' clients.  I know Kids had a big problem with body carvings.  And again,  why was this all brought up on a discussion of AARC,  when the alleged victim had apparently been in Kids?

Wes Fager [email protected]
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es Fager
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\"If David Miscaviage can go to his deposition as Admiral Farragut, then Keith Henson can go as Bozo the Clown.\"  Wes Fager

Offline velvet2000

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The alleged suicide of B. N.
« Reply #1 on: April 28, 2002, 08:33:00 PM »
He knew Dean Vause from when Dean worked at Kids. They kept in touch or got back in touch when they both moved back to Canada. He was one of the former Kids clients who started having group meetings in houses and churches with Dean and then became one of the first staff members at AARC. He worked for an out patient treatment center in BC for a while then moved back to Calgary where he spent some time hanging out in AARC but not working there. Shortly before killing himself he broke into AARC and stole some little things. I don't believe that it was for the sake of cash, and more likely a statement. However others saw it as the depths of addiction, thus asking Dean to speak at his funeral.

I met B.N. for the first time while I was in AARC and he was visiting from BC. The out patient center he worked for was above a coffee shop I used to go to every day for the past year. Just a strange note, I found out while in AARC that he had written a report on me based on watching me and my friends drinking coffee, and had sent it a long time before my arriving at AARC. He had also been counseling my parents who were already familiar with AARC.
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Offline Anonymous

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The alleged suicide of B. N.
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2002, 06:40:00 PM »
I don't want to speculate about why BN killed himself, but I knew him very well.  He did my intake in Kids of BC with T*m H*ll*r and I went to his home my first night (but had to be moved since I had known his foster sister).  I spent the next 399 days in Kids with him.
Brian and I were also friends after leaving Kids.  Brian worked at that clinic/treatment centre in Nanaimo while I was in University of Victoria.  We would hang out from time to time as we were only about an hour appart.
I knew that BN wasn't in a good space when he had moved back to Calgary and was couch surfing.  He called one day when I had come back to Calgary to visit.  He wanted to go out that night and wanted me to contact several other of our mutual friends and to make sure that they came out also.
We went out that night to a bar called the Fox and Furkin.  He seemed to be in quite good spirits.  I had no idea about the break in at AARC or how bad things were for him.  That night he was caught smoking pot behind the bar by some police on mountain bikes.  He came back into and told us, but seemed totally un-phased.
We played several games of pool.  I remember him being quite disappointed that certain people hadn't shown up, but other than that he seemed quite happy all night.
The next day I got a phone call from a friend with whom Brian had been staying.  They had just returned to their appartment when a body was being removed, and BN had hung himself in the hallway of their building.
I went to the funeral.  I saw Dean there.  I also saw mini-Dean (P*t* S*rc***).  I must say that I felt as though I had killed Brian when they looked at me.  Anyway, I think that BN was a great guy and I don't know why he made the choice that he did.  I also know that I am not responsible for the decision that he made, but I know that he had a very difficult life.
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Offline velvet2000

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The alleged suicide of B. N.
« Reply #3 on: June 14, 2002, 04:30:00 PM »
It's been my experience that those who are truly serious about suicide work very hard on not letting anyone in on it. From your story it sounds to me as though he'd been planning on it for some time, and that it was very important for him to see you and the other friends that he invited, one last time. With all of the determination it must have took for him to not let out a tear or a flag sign that he wanted to die, and all of the determination it must have took him to go through with it, he could have used that same determination elsewhere. He could have gone back to AARC one last time, and faked that he was ready to seek help, just to say goodbye. I would assume that it wasn't what he wanted.

Even though I hardly knew Brian, it's still heartbreaking. I wish that all of us, from The Straights, or Kids, or AARC, or whatever, could come out surviving together.

"Mini Vause" did my assesment, and ran most of the raps until I was on about level three. A new Mini Vause is taking P.S's place, returning to school and all incase Miller Light retires.

Thank you for posting your story.
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Offline Anonymous

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The alleged suicide of B. N.
« Reply #4 on: April 04, 2004, 01:33:00 AM »
i was in kids of bergen county with B.N. and his brother kevin, and i knew his sister madeline. they housed me when i ran from kids for the final time in july of 90. they were all good people. i was in kids myself for 5 years 85-90 ages 13-18. not sure how long kevin and brian were there, but i got close to them and was fond of the whole family.  frank s. kobc 85-90
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Offline sweet_grl_with_a_bad_atti

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The alleged suicide of B. N.
« Reply #5 on: October 31, 2004, 01:08:00 AM »
dr.V used brians name a lot in aarc he constantly used him as an example a lot of the aarc staff new of him as well
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Offline Anonymous

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The alleged suicide of B. N.
« Reply #6 on: October 31, 2004, 05:11:00 PM »
I think I know who you are and you should not blame yourself for Brian's death.  I was in that whole crowd and we all know who we are.  We are the ones who went to "deprogramming" meeetings together for a year after kids and next thing you know we are all under Dean's spell.  
I was at the funeral and if you are who i think you are, then you were ALWAYS a friend to Brian.  We were all struggling at that time to find our own identities and we all had lots of different opinions filtering through our brain at the time.  whether it was our parents, newton, ppl from AA, dean, our friends.  
kudos to you for being there to listen to brian and you did.  dean didn't, he turned his back on him as did the almighty p.s.

take care and good luck.
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