Author Topic: Great Thanksgiving, made progress with Dad!  (Read 1522 times)

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Offline Anne Bonney

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Great Thanksgiving, made progress with Dad!
« on: November 30, 2010, 11:24:47 AM »
Jeff and I took the boat from St. Pete down to Sarasota for Thanksgiving....Jeff left Monday to take it down, I drove down with someone else Wednesday and Jeff had to leave Friday for work so my Dad came down Sunday to help me bring the boat back. It's about a 4 - 5 hour trip, depending on the weather and tides.  I have a trawler so she's not a "go fast" boat.   I can't explain how healing it was.  The water and boats are one of the few things that I have really happy memories about with him.  I told myself that I wouldn't bring up any 'issues' because I just miss him so much and wanted to spend some time with him without any controversy.  However, I can tell that he's changed, somewhat, his stance on Straight and rehab in general.  There were a few things he said that weren't directly an apology, but it was obvious that he has re-thought what he did and why.

I got the boat out of the slip in Sarasota on the first try and into the slip back in St. Pete on the first try....wasn't real pretty, but I did it!!  When Dad was leaving we hugged and I started crying (happy cry) and he said, "Honey, this is beginning.....not a one time thing".  I cried for about 5 minutes after he left out of sheer validation and the feeling of reconnection.  If my dad can come around, there's hope for pretty much everyone's parents.

Between the last couple of weeks with the film crew and now this with Dad, I've been on a two week high.

Just wanted to "share" (god, I hate that word but it fits here).
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
traight, St. Pete, early 80s
AA is a cult http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult.html

The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents-- because they have a tame child-creature in their house.  ~~  Frank Zappa

Offline heretik

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Re: Great Thanksgiving, made progress with Dad!
« Reply #1 on: November 30, 2010, 11:45:35 AM »
Amen!!!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline RTP2003

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Re: Great Thanksgiving, made progress with Dad!
« Reply #2 on: November 30, 2010, 12:07:57 PM »
That's great to hear, Anne.  I know your Dad means a lot to you, ands I am happy to hear you had such a good time.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
RTP2003 fought in defense of the Old Republic

Offline Samara

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Re: Great Thanksgiving, made progress with Dad!
« Reply #3 on: November 30, 2010, 12:36:34 PM »
I am so happy for you! I was wondering how it would go and hoping for a good outcome.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anne Bonney

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Re: Great Thanksgiving, made progress with Dad!
« Reply #4 on: November 30, 2010, 12:59:55 PM »
Thanks guys!  You have no idea how much it meant to me.  It really feels like this is finally a turning point between us.  I've waited over 20 years for this.  It's like a huge hole in my heart has begun to fill up.

 :seg:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
traight, St. Pete, early 80s
AA is a cult http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult.html

The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents-- because they have a tame child-creature in their house.  ~~  Frank Zappa

Offline kpickle39

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Re: Great Thanksgiving, made progress with Dad!
« Reply #5 on: November 30, 2010, 03:42:52 PM »
Cool beans Anne  . . .sounds like your thanksgiving was fun.  Mine was alone eating a frozen turkey dinner.  But you know what?  I had a good time.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline shaggys

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Re: Great Thanksgiving, made progress with Dad!
« Reply #6 on: December 01, 2010, 11:29:29 AM »
Quote from: "Anne Bonney"
Thanks guys!  You have no idea how much it meant to me.  It really feels like this is finally a turning point between us.  I've waited over 20 years for this.  It's like a huge hole in my heart has begun to fill up.

 :seg:


That is awesome. Congrats!
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Offline seamus

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Re: Great Thanksgiving, made progress with Dad!
« Reply #7 on: December 01, 2010, 04:04:14 PM »
Good for you.Fix stuff while you can.If you dont the resulting regret is crushing.
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It\'d be sad if it wernt so funny,It\'d be funny if it wernt so sad

Offline Whooter

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Re: Great Thanksgiving, made progress with Dad!
« Reply #8 on: December 01, 2010, 05:46:22 PM »
Quote from: "seamus"
Good for you.Fix stuff while you can.If you dont the resulting regret is crushing.
:tup:



...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anne Bonney

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Re: Great Thanksgiving, made progress with Dad!
« Reply #9 on: December 02, 2010, 09:20:56 AM »
Quote from: "seamus"
Good for you.Fix stuff while you can.If you dont the resulting regret is crushing.


I've been trying for over 20 years.  What's happened recently is mainly due to Dad finally beginning to realize the damage done to me by Straight.

But you're right.  He's getting older and I couldn't bear the thought of not at least coming to some sort of resolution.  I can't even begin to tell you how much good it did me to hear some of the things he said.  As I said, it's like a huge hole in my heart has begun to fill up.  It's the last piece of the puzzle to my healing from Straight.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
traight, St. Pete, early 80s
AA is a cult http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult.html

The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents-- because they have a tame child-creature in their house.  ~~  Frank Zappa

Offline alphalexx1

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Re: Great Thanksgiving, made progress with Dad!
« Reply #10 on: December 04, 2010, 06:09:35 AM »
Thank you for the article about mind control. I was a victim of the Seed in 1972. I had never done drugs. My mom just thought I did because I had a "bad attitude" She passed in 1997. I have spent a lot of years in therapy and this will help. Instead of trying to get over it I believe it is time to "face it". You are a good writer. I am going to print out the article and take it to my therapist.  :wall:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline alphalexx1

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Re: Great Thanksgiving, made progress with Dad!
« Reply #11 on: December 04, 2010, 06:13:56 AM »
BTW, I did not mean to be rude, even though I do not know you I am glad things are going well between you and your dad. I hope your December is great. :cheers:
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Offline Ursus

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Re: Great Thanksgiving, made progress with Dad!
« Reply #12 on: December 04, 2010, 11:23:46 AM »
Anne, I'm so glad to hear that there seems to be some kind of breakthrough in understanding from your dad! That kind of validation is priceless.
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Offline seamus

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Re: Great Thanksgiving, made progress with Dad!
« Reply #13 on: December 04, 2010, 04:47:43 PM »
Quote from: "seamus"
Good for you.Fix stuff while you can.If you dont the resulting regret is crushing.



                                            Seriously, if you dont.......itll fucking eat you alive.I know. ::deadhorse::
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
It\'d be sad if it wernt so funny,It\'d be funny if it wernt so sad

Offline Anne Bonney

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Re: Great Thanksgiving, made progress with Dad!
« Reply #14 on: December 06, 2010, 09:47:44 AM »
Quote from: "seamus"
Quote from: "seamus"
Good for you.Fix stuff while you can.If you dont the resulting regret is crushing.



                                            Seriously, if you dont.......itll fucking eat you alive.I know. ::deadhorse::


Yup.....damn near did.  I'm so glad we're finally making some progress.  Thanks for all the good wishes everyone.

@ alphalexx1.....no offense taken and I appreciate your kind words as well.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
traight, St. Pete, early 80s
AA is a cult http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult.html

The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents-- because they have a tame child-creature in their house.  ~~  Frank Zappa