Author Topic: Health since the program..spiritual,mental,physical (Read 8239 times)

Deprogrammed · « **on:** October 23, 2010, 10:12:05 PM »

How is everyone's health since STR8?
Mine is on the decline.

What do you think the reasons for your own health decline(if any) since the program?
Are they related?
Survivors..Let's discuss this, seriously. If programmies chime in..let's ignore them at all costs to stay on this topic, so that way we can get through speaking about this and talk about it.

Right now I am suspected of adrenal gland malfunction in some fashion. Since this controls fight or flight response in conjunction with the pituitary gland in the brain. I would like the sceience community to do a study on me and others....To see if the chicken came before the egg.

IF you feel the program has effected your health in negative ways...Let's talk about all of them and how they relate possibly to all of the traumas that we endured there.
sincerely,
-DP

Deprogrammed · « **Reply #1 on:** October 24, 2010, 03:32:07 PM »

Of course there are other health issues as well.
Does anyone care to explore this health question with me?

Anne Bonney · « **Reply #2 on:** October 25, 2010, 01:17:41 PM »

I've had serious back issues with I attribute, at the very least, in part to Straight and sitting all that time.....and in the posture we were forced to. And the motivating, I believe, ruined my shoulder. I was too scared to "misbehave" (I saw what happened to anyone that dared even blink "wrong", so I just sat there and didn't do or say anything) so I didn't get beaten like a lot of kids I saw.

The mental and emotional scars are there forever. I've had insomnia that I've yet to conquer. Night-terrors (and there is a difference between nightmares and night-terrors) of being put back in. Inability, until the last decade, to have any semblance of normal friendships. Very quick to anger, although I've come a long way. There were things that I did as a parent that were totally influenced by Straight that I completely regret and have apologized for more times than I can count. That includes how I treated other children that I considered to be bullying my kids. And I think the depression and anger that I've lived with for so long has taken a physical toll as well. You can't carry that shit around and not have it effect you physically, IMO.

Botched Programming · « **Reply #3 on:** October 25, 2010, 02:23:14 PM »

I can relate to what Anne is saying about back and shoulder being meesed up from motivating and people grinding their knuckles in my back to make me have this certain posture. I have had to have rotator cuff surgery and my back aches every day. Not to mention what PTSD has done to me I had to take antidepressants after going to counseling after Straight which done me no good. It has taken a toll on me as far as having a somewhat normal relationship with family. It has made me where I keep myself pretty much distant and isolated from family. Instead of confidence Straight instilled failure in me. Before I went in Straight I felt confident and when I was there they stripped that quality about myself out of me and instilled failure. When I withdrew myself from the program the Staff member that done my exit interview tried to talk me out of leaving telling me that I was going to end up in jail or dead from a drug overdose, talk about a confidence builder. It also made me fearful to talk about things that were personal to me in fear of being ridiculled by other people so much that I prefer isolation from friends and family. Not to say I don't have people I interact with, however my relationship are more surface now than when I went in.

Bandit73 · « **Reply #4 on:** October 25, 2010, 02:29:36 PM »

I wasn't in Straight, but I was in a different program. I don't know how helpful my information is, but I think there's some similarities.

I developed post-traumatic stress disorder about 3 months after I left the program. I think this is because of being harassed at the high school I attended previously, and being called delusional and a liar when I told program staffers about it.

Now my teeth have practically rotted out of my head because the program drugged me heavily.

The PTSD also led to other severe health problems, which has resulted in chronic underemployment.

Anne Bonney · « **Reply #5 on:** October 25, 2010, 02:50:35 PM »

I've also been diagnosed with PTSD as a direct result of my time in Straight. There's a LOT of us who have received that diagnosis.

dragonfly · « **Reply #6 on:** October 25, 2010, 05:18:01 PM »

Rusty Goat · « **Reply #7 on:** October 26, 2010, 07:57:45 AM »

I think the natural aging process of human beings is the most detrimental assault to our bodies. Unless your bone was broken and not set correctly, I think most physical ailments would be age related and not from the program. On the other hand though, I distinctly remember my knees feeling like they were being burned off by a cutting torch after sitting Indian style for a couple hours. Nowadays, click click click, crunch crunch, squish... yeah, maybe that's from straight, who knows? How would you ever find out? Who has the $$$ to be tested by a doctor?

Now the psychological damage stuff, for sure, it's always going to be there... :eek:

seamus · « **Reply #8 on:** October 26, 2010, 04:08:32 PM »

hard to tell for me .I allways had depression issues,and no thanks to our wonderfull alma mater,it seems to get worse with age,i still have vivid nightmares,am paranoid about my personal security,i wake up screaming at times,tho not as often as I did in the 80s,and yes i sleep with a gun. I was diagnosed as having a depression disorder.NOT ptsd. Not bipolar. Most of my physical bs is from livin hard post program, injuries from various misadventures..shit like that,but i can ignore a lot of physical pain,still ride a ton of bicicle,still run abit.do ok in spite of things.

The shit I dont do well with kinda goes like this.
I got fucking horrid trust issues, I can fake trust in a most convincing manner,but I cannot trust.The real hell of that is the older I get I seem to crave connection,y'know real things ,family(mines fuct, or dead) love.....fuck Im not even sure what the fuck love,or the concept of home REALLY are,and Im so sick of going up and down the road,so sick of things being temporary and shallow. This is where I fall down. This is when I become that surly Jack Daniels fueled asshole at the end of the bar with the silent fuck you and die vibe goin on.I dont do myself many favors this way.

Some other shit ive noticed goes like this: every fucking time some body tells me " I love you" or pretty much any derivitave there of, Iget all suspicious,and all on the defensive,like Im gettin ready to get beaten, (thanks,Ma) (thanks, STR8), makes me physically cringe at times, absolutly come un zipped at the words-Good-bye, Fuck me I dont even know where THAT comes from, or why . Wish I could lose my anger and figure out how to un-fuck myself. Suspect Its a bit late for that. I have like no tolerence for frustration,none, Ive watched anger,depression, and my own self loathing .self destructive bullshit kill many relationships, jobs,freindships,and dissolve the bulk of anything I ever thought was worth a fuck in my life.Point being when maybe I WAS at a point in life when I COULD have maybe been helped, I was further kicked instead.

Deprogrammed · « **Reply #9 on:** October 29, 2010, 10:29:17 PM »

This may be what I am looking at here:
http://http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20036466 :flame: :timeout: ::puke::

Deprogrammed · « **Reply #10 on:** October 29, 2010, 10:31:06 PM »

Quote from: "Deprogrammed"

This may be what I am looking at here:
http://http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20036466 :flame: :timeout: ::puke::

http://[url=http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20143428]http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20143428[/url]

Antigen · « **Reply #11 on:** October 31, 2010, 10:00:00 PM »

It's been about 28 years. Thought I was mostly over anything I couldn't pass off. Then I went for orientation to be a bell ringer for Salvation Army. Hey, times are rough and minimum wage is better than no wage. Anyway... I had a real breakdown over that. Can't really explain, just that the entire militant Christian soldier environment regressed me hard. When I went to sign in my hand wouldn't remember my signature. It wanted to write the signature I had when I was 16. It almost made me laugh thinking about some dumb horror flick about a dude with a transplanted hand that kept doing it's on evil thing. But if I had laughed in the agitated state I was in people might have actually gotten up and run, not just wondered what about me made them feel vaguely like it. My guts were still shaking an hour and 3 beers later.

Deprogrammed · « **Reply #12 on:** November 09, 2010, 10:28:32 PM »

Thanks to all for answering this thread!

My endocrinologist right now is leaning hard towards Addison's or some form of adrenal insufficiency.
She has ordered 14 tests on me. Some other things that are a bit darker have not been ruled out yet.

I am hoping that it is addison's b/c they can fix me with meds to a good degree. IF it isnt and it is some other form of adrenal malfunction, either way....I will find someone who will study me in regards to the PTSD. Who knows...one step at a time right now, right? Maybe my endocrinologist would be willing to study me if this turns out to be the case.

If it is something a bit darker, at this point, yes I am scared, but I really just want a name for what is wrong so I can just quit shadow-boxing and know what I am fighting.

I hope that more people will discuss there health since the program on this thread. I am hoping that together we can say a lot about trauma stress and what it can do to integral parts of the mind, body and spirit.

Thanks again!

sincerely,
-DP

none-ya · « **Reply #13 on:** November 10, 2010, 02:44:28 AM »

I had a heart attack 36 years after leaving the program. (Jan. this year. Age 54). I don't think I can blame the seed for that.

Froderik · « **Reply #14 on:** November 10, 2010, 09:16:27 AM »

Quote from: "seamus"

absolutly come un zipped at the words-Good-bye, Fuck me I dont even know where THAT comes from, or why .

I don't like "Goodbye" much, either.. with me it's usually, "See ya later".. doesn't sound so final..

Fornits
Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry