Communication with parents

[Maximilian]

Did you send your parents letters while in the program?
Were you allowed to call home? How did you communicate with them?

[Joel]

Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010

[Maximilian]

I wonder how the survivors here respond to a program staffer telling them what to do?

[none-ya]

maxine wrote:
"I think it's extremely short sided for people here to want people like me, a troubled teen, to die instead of go to a program."

You're right. Just look at what a wonderful person you turned out to be.

[Anne Bonney]

maxine wrote:
"I think it's extremely short sided for people here to want people like me, a troubled teen, to die instead of go to a program."

[/quote]

/sarcasm on

Because clearly those are the only two options.

/sarcasm off

Why do program people only see things in black or white?

[Froderik]

Why do program people only see things in black or white?

Because they can't see colors?

[Joel]

Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010

[Anne Bonney]

If Programs did not exist, I would be dead (original topic) ----- > Communication with parents (new topic)

Laws

1. If a thread already exists on a topic, use it, rather than start a new one.
2. Don't derail threads by changing the topic. Start a new topic.
3. No outing of home addresses or phone numbers without a person's consent. This includes linking to such information.
4. Post your topics in the appropriate forum, with an appropriate name.
5. Multiple usernames are disallowed if you use them for sockpuppetry. Sockpuppets will be outed.
6. No attacking other posters with insults (this includes driving parents off). You can make your point with civility. Responding to an insult with an insult is not a justification.
7. Impersonation of another poster or living person is not allowed, unless it is obvious parody. The standard is this: if a stupid person could mistake the identity to be that of the parodied, it's a violation. You may either agree to have such an account labeled as "parody" or have it deleted.
8. One unmoderated forum will remain (open free for all) however it will be opt-in, similar to the drama box.

Yeah, he/she has a habit of doing that.  I asked him/her why they did that but never did get an answer.

Edited to add:  We weren't allowed any contact with our parents until we "earned" it and even then it was supervised by either a staff member or a higher phaser and we knew that if we told the truth about what was happening to us we were in for a world of shit.

[Whooter]

We weren't allowed any contact with our parents until we "earned" it and even then it was supervised by either a staff member or a higher phaser and we knew that if we told the truth about what was happening to us we were in for a world of shit.

Programs have come a long way since then, Anne.  The kids at ASR and many others know when they will see their families and do not have to earn that right.  They scheduled great family weekends.

I think we can all agree that it is nice parents have a choice of sending their children to programs which allow these freedoms vs places like straight.



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[Oz girl]

ASR by its own admission has a teacher sitting listening in to phone calls. It also goes through mail and packages deciding what families can and cant send their kids. This is not free open communication.

[Whooter]

ASR by its own admission has a teacher sitting listening in to phone calls. It also goes through mail and packages deciding what families can and cant send their kids. This is not free open communication.

The phone calls are unmonitored now.  not sure about the packages.  They would have the kids open them in front of staff to insure everything was appropriate.  Some parents would send their kids hot-pants or tube tops with saying on them etc.  So they had to check it all as it came in.  The kids were able to get their clothes and other stuff after graduation.

There were rules about what could and could not be sent to the school.



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[DannyB II]

If Programs did not exist, I would be dead (original topic) ----- > Communication with parents (new topic)

Laws

1. If a thread already exists on a topic, use it, rather than start a new one.
2. Don't derail threads by changing the topic. Start a new topic.
3. No outing of home addresses or phone numbers without a person's consent. This includes linking to such information.
4. Post your topics in the appropriate forum, with an appropriate name.
5. Multiple usernames are disallowed if you use them for sockpuppetry. Sockpuppets will be outed.
6. No attacking other posters with insults (this includes driving parents off). You can make your point with civility. Responding to an insult with an insult is not a justification.
7. Impersonation of another poster or living person is not allowed, unless it is obvious parody. The standard is this: if a stupid person could mistake the identity to be that of the parodied, it's a violation. You may either agree to have such an account labeled as "parody" or have it deleted.
8. One unmoderated forum will remain (open free for all) however it will be opt-in, similar to the drama box.

Joel it is his thread, don't like it get off. Your breaking the the #2 rule, stop it.

[Joel]

Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010

[DannyB II]

ASR by its own admission has a teacher sitting listening in to phone calls. It also goes through mail and packages deciding what families can and cant send their kids. This is not free open communication.

Yes this is, your not just going to let your kids get mail and packages sent to your house without getting interested and at some point asking your child what they have there.
Well kids are sent to programs for specific reasons, some of those reasons are not so good, so to make sure they are safe and other children are safe, packages and mail is monitored.
Ya know, I went through Elan back in 1975 and I never had my mail or packages opened, I always got them in the original condition and we all opened them in the dining room. Yes everyone was there to see but I did not feel intimidated. If you got food it was put in the frig with your name, Elan did not like it when parents did this so it did not happen often, maybe around holidays or birthdays. They fed us well enough.
Phone calls to parents were never a question, whether you were doing well or not you got your phone call on your schedule time. Joe even encouraged this believe it or not. He was so arrogant he could care a less about what you said about Elan, he also felt it was important for kids to talk with their parents.
Now I don't know if this happened in all the houses of Elan, there were (5) when I was there, it did happen in the house I was in and the houses I worked at.
Visits by parents were scheduled and very seldom broken. Home visits also happened on schedule. Parents came for groups with there kids.

[Whooter]

There will always be staffers within ear shot to ensure students are speaking with the appropriate people, not asking for someone to mail drugs, not asking someone to mail alcohol, not asking somone to mail money, not asking someone to mail cell phones and to unsure the student is having a civil conversation.  There is also a time limit, the staffer has the power to hang up the telephone, in some cases.  When I worked at Eckerd staff monitored telephone  calls, I didn't sit by them.  I sat outside the office with the office door open.  They were aware I was listening.  The statement "Students have unmonitored phone calls" is simply not true.  Staffers are making it less obvious or so they think these days.  They have to pay attention to protect the cash cow.  

The staff didnt have to worry about who the kid was calling because they dialed the number for them.  At ASR there were six kids speaking to their parents at the same time with those dividers between them like when you took tests in the library (if people remember them).  So the staff walking in and out of the room would never be able to hear an individual conversation at all even if they wanted to.
There was a time limit and there was a staff person nearby in case an argument broke out and there was screaming which happened on occasion.



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