Author Topic: Father's scare tactics go to far???? Defending Daughter  (Read 758 times)

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Offline DannyB II

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Father's scare tactics go to far???? Defending Daughter
« on: September 19, 2010, 01:53:02 PM »
How would you have handled this situation? Be honest this is your daughter with cerebral palsy being abused to the extent she is hit and has condoms thrown at her. I could only wonder.


http://news.mydaily.com/2010/09/17/scar ... nk1|171215

Central Florida father, James Jones, has been arrested after boarding a school bus to confront his daughter's alleged bullies. 'Good Morning America' correspondent Yunjin de Nies chronicles the footage captured by the school bus' surveillance camera. "He orders his 11-year-old daughter to point out her alleged tormentors," de Nies explains. "Jones confronts the middle school students he says have been bullying his daughter, who has cerebral palsy. Bullies he says have taunted, hit, even thrown condoms at her."

During the profanity-laced rant, Jones not only threatens the students, but the bus driver as well, saying "If anything happens to my daughter, I'm (expletive) you up." Jones was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and disturbing a school function. After getting released on bail, he defended his actions to reporters, saying "My daughter is not going to be hazed and beat up."
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Offline Whooter

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Re: Father's scare tactics go to far???? Defending Daughter
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2010, 03:28:39 PM »
Arresting this man was the right thing to do.  The bus drivers job is to drive the bus (not monitor the kids).  The father needed to contact the school and report the incident and allow them to correct the problem.  If this was ineffective then he should have gotten the names of the kids from his daughter and contacted the childs parents directly.

But there were other much younger children on that bus who should not be subjected to the foul language and threats that this man threw around.



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« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Hedge

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Re: Father's scare tactics go to far???? Defending Daughter
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2010, 05:08:27 PM »
Opinion piece on CNN about this situation: http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/09/23/n ... tml?hpt=T2

Don't punish dad for defending daughter
By Ruben Navarrette Jr., Special to CNN
September 23, 2010 1:22 p.m. EDT

San Diego, California (CNN) -- Free James Willie Jones!

The world is upside down. The act of children bullying the vulnerable has become so common that many adults no longer seem to notice or care, much less do anything to stop it. But when a video clip on YouTube shows a father defending his daughter from bullies, some people go ballistic.

What used to be considered unacceptable is now thought to be normal, and what used to be normal is now unacceptable.

Jones is facing two misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct and disturbing a school function. He was released from jail after posting a $2,000 bond.

It's all because, three weeks ago, the 42-year-old father from Lake Mary, Florida, stormed onto a school bus and -- in a screed captured on video -- threatened the bus driver and some of the students with bodily harm.

"Now everybody sit down; sit down," Jones says on the tape. And then, addressing his daughter: "Show me which one. Show me which one." The girl points in the direction of a group of students, which Jones then approaches. He told them: "This is my daughter, and I will kill the [expletive] who fought her." He also threatened the bus driver.

Jones obviously behaved badly. But he was trying to do the right thing. He didn't board that bus to bully students as some have suggested. This isn't a story about a grown man terrorizing kids for the fun of it.

He was there to defend and protect his 13-year-old daughter, who had been terrorized by real bullies who -- according to what Jones told deputies -- teased his daughter, spat on her, poked her, pushed her, smacked her on the back of her head, twisted her ear and shouted rude comments at her.

They even threw a liquid-filled condom at another girl, and fragments hit Jones' daughter. According to the sheriff's report, this abuse eventually drove the girl, who has cerebral palsy, to have an emotional breakdown and threaten suicide.

Meanwhile, the officials at Greenwood Lakes Middle School have taken a break from PE and PTA to do a little CYA. School spokeswoman Regina Murray Klaers told The Associated Press in an e-mail that Jones did not share with school administrators any concerns about his daughter being bullied. Jones' wife, Deborah McFadden-Jones, told the AP that she left messages with a school guidance counselor but that she never heard back.

As the father told Kiran Chetry, co-host of CNN's "American Morning," when he learned of the abuse, he acted on instinct.

"She finally opened up and told me what was going on," Jones said. "And from there, you know, being a dad just loving my daughter ... and just loving all my kids, you know. ... [At] that point, my heart broke when I [saw] her standing there ... [she] wasn't going to get on the bus crying. And a dad is a dad. And I was going to be her protector that day."

That's what this was: A father protecting his daughter. And if that little girl couldn't rely on her dad to protect her, just whom in this world is she supposed to rely on?

At an emotional news conference this week, Jones acknowledged that his behavior was wrong and apologized for it.

"If you see the tape," he said, "I feel like I was backed up against the wall as a parent. I just didn't know where else to go."

Yet, Jones said, parents should not follow his example.

"We definitely don't want to promote that," he said. "We don't want vigilantes going on buses, threatening kids, because kids have rights too."

Oh yeah, as Americans, we have rights. We know all about our rights. We assert our rights. We don't think twice about hiring lawyers to defend our rights. But what we have trouble with is the other half of the social contract: responsibility.

That includes the responsibility to treat one another with dignity and respect, and not prey on those who can't defend themselves. And the responsibility of parents to raise good kids who don't get their jollies from causing classmates mental and emotional anguish. And the responsibility of school officials to take seriously the idea that they act in loco parentis (in place of parents) and that our children's safety rests in their hands.

Jones' attorney has said she is hoping to get the charges against him dropped. She has even offered to have her client give speeches against bullying as a form of community service.

The attorney is half right. The charges in this case should be dropped -- immediately. And I'd like to see charges filed against the teenage bullies. In an ideal world, we'd also charge their parents for bungling the job of raising these kids.

But Jones shouldn't waste his time giving speeches about bullying. Instead, he should lecture audiences about something that is really important to our society and that a lot of people don't know how to do but that he seems pretty good at: parenting.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Ruben Navarrette.
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Offline Samara

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Re: Father's scare tactics go to far???? Defending Daughter
« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2010, 05:34:08 PM »
yeah - I am definitely sympathetic to the Dad and his daughter.  Could it be handled differently or better? Sure. But I get it, and he expressed himself well afterward.

When I think about all the raps where kids with Aspergers and Anxiety disorder were ganged up on, not to mention regular kids who had to sit around and be subjected to people yelling at them, screaming profanities at them, calling them the slurs or sluts en masse, and how the rap facilitators promoted this, I wonder wtf was going through those adults' minds?  I hope I run into an ex staffer sometime.

I know for a fact if my Dad was a fly on the wall for the raps, he would have pulled me hard and fast. He wouldn't be able to stomach the ones demeaning and bullying other people let alone me. As it was, he goty a weird feeling when they admonished him for asking questions.  He was the one who backed me when I split.

Sometimes, Dads have to man up.
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Offline Whooter

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Re: Father's scare tactics go to far???? Defending Daughter
« Reply #4 on: September 26, 2010, 05:48:30 PM »
If someone had screamed and demeaned my daughter on a bus or in a program they would have had hell to pay.  I would have released my rage on the appropriate people (not in front of innocent bystanders and using foul language in front of kids heading for kindergarten).

Defending a family member is paramount but a parent needs to take a more mature approach and set a good example for their child in conflict resolution and healthy approaches to problem solving.

Each time I hear these stories of kids being yelled at in programs I feel fortunate that I chose a program that worked on building self esteem and not tearing it down.



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Offline Maximilian

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Re: Father's scare tactics go to far???? Defending Daughter
« Reply #5 on: September 26, 2010, 05:54:11 PM »
Whenever a kid got in the face of another kid at the program I was at, staff quickly intervened. That's what they were payed for, to supervise the kids and keep things from getting out of hand. From what I read here, it sounds as if all programs are cults with a bunch of brainwashed sadists walking around, beating every kid in sight. The program I was at was like a boarding school with therapy every once in a while.
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Offline DannyB II

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Re: Father's scare tactics go to far???? Defending Daughter
« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2010, 06:09:49 PM »
Quote from: "Whooter"
If someone had screamed and demeaned my daughter on a bus or in a program they would have had hell to pay.  I would have released my rage on the appropriate people (not in front of innocent bystanders and using foul language in front of kids heading for kindergarten).

Defending a family member is paramount but a parent needs to take a more mature approach and set a good example for their child in conflict resolution and healthy approaches to problem solving.

Each time I hear these stories of kids being yelled at in programs I feel fortunate that I chose a program that worked on building self esteem and not tearing it down.

...


Whooter, if this was your daughter with cerebral palsy, your butt would be on that bus if this is what it took to defend her. I know you would, I would.  Not sure if I would have cussed the kids out but I would have had something to say, especially to the bus driver.
I'll tell ya, I am also sick and tired of hearing about young girls being picked on to the point of suicide, then finding out their fathers did very little if anything to help them. This is their job, at least it was mine.
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Offline Anne Bonney

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Re: Father's scare tactics go to far???? Defending Daughter
« Reply #7 on: September 27, 2010, 03:06:29 PM »
Quote from: "Maximilian"
The program I was at was like a boarding school with therapy every once in a while.


Hmmm, sounds interesting.  Which program was that?  I'd like to find a program that I actually could support, so if you'd kindly let me know which one it was, then I can see for myself and possibly support them.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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