Author Topic: Post your positive program experiences  (Read 11734 times)

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Offline Pile of shit

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Re: Post your positive program experiences
« Reply #195 on: August 25, 2010, 02:05:17 PM »
Quote from: "SUCK IT"
Keep holding... my scanner is still warming up.

SUCK TITS drive down to your local gas station, purchase 3 bottles of aspirin and one bottle of gin from the state liquor store.  Get it over with.  WOW!!!

 :jawdrop:  :jawdrop:  :jawdrop:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :jawdrop:  :jawdrop:  :jawdrop:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :jawdrop:  :jawdrop:  :jawdrop:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :jawdrop:  :jawdrop:  :jawdrop: :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :twofinger:  :jawdrop:  :jawdrop:  :jawdrop:
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WOW!!!

Offline SUCK IT

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Re: Post your positive program experiences
« Reply #196 on: August 25, 2010, 02:24:55 PM »
Quote from: "Pile of shit"
Quote from: "SUCK IT"
Keep holding... my scanner is still warming up.

SUCK TITS drive down to your local gas station, purchase 3 bottles of aspirin and one bottle of gin from the state liquor store.  Get it over with.  WOW!!!


SUCK TITS, that's a new one, two points for creativity. I can get both aspirin and liquor at the gas station, there aren't state liquor stores where I live.
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Offline DannyB II

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Re: Post your positive program experiences
« Reply #197 on: August 25, 2010, 11:28:53 PM »
Quote from: "Samara"
Look, DB, I never claimed to be perfect, but I certainly did not deserve to be isolated and psychologically abused at CEDU. I wrote notes to my parents and left them on my bed when I snuck out, for Christ sake's! I could be a bit sneaky like teenagers often are, but I never lied to a direct question.  I did not vandalize, commit arson,shoplift, or raise a fist at anyone. I never took the car out without asking. I experimented with drugs recreationally, but did not buy, sell, or give Blow jobs for coke. I stopped recreational use 5-6 months BEFORE Cedu because it wasn't all that interesting to me.  I was not a "bad" kid.  I wasn't even a "mean girl." And frankly, many -if not most kids- experiment with all the items on the aforementioned list without meriting residency at Looney Toonville.

If I was a bad, bad gal (and to me, a bad person is a person who lacks empathy or a sociopath) all CEDU would do is reinforce maladaptive behavior. So a program based on fraudulent and therapeutically fictitious methods is not helpful to anyone.  Not to mention its abusive interactive model.  I cringe when I think of the communication tactics learned at these places (plenty of which I've seen here).

I have enough self worth to know that I did not deserve this.

Samara, I am not arguing this with you, how in the heck did we get to this point. I went to Elan and I know I did not deserve the shit I saw there or endured. I did many of the things to say you did not do, so what, I turned out just as responsible and loving to God, family and friends as you did I'm sure.
Why is it so important to tell everyone you did nothing to deserve to go to CEDU, why don't you explain why someone felt you needed to go to a program. I get how unhealthy are programs are/were but what I find fascinating is the circumstances that led to our placements.
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Offline RobertBruce

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Re: Post your positive program experiences
« Reply #198 on: August 25, 2010, 11:37:08 PM »
Danny are you unaware of the fact that there are many kids like me and apparently Samara, who were placed into a kiddie prison for no real reason?
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Offline Samara

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Re: Post your positive program experiences
« Reply #199 on: August 26, 2010, 12:49:26 AM »
DB, my impatience and ire on the subject of my attendance at CEDU is not because I find you fascinated by the circumstances that led up to it, but because of prior insinuation I deserved it. CEDU was a shock to me. That adult staff could lie to that extent - both to my parents and about their academic and therapeutic practices - was mindblowing to me. The sense of helplessness and disempowerment was overwhelming. After CEDU - I could not process the events that took place there on a psychological basis. But it really disrupted a level of trust in people I never regained. The experience deeply disturbed me on a molecular level.  Because I split, I never spoke about it to anyone and it festered; I didn't even know to analyze it or discard it because I really needed to believe there was a purpose to it.

Yes, I know its not the Holocaust or Rwanda. And yes, on an intellectual level I know bad shit happens all the time. And yes, I had experienced trauma pre-CEDU but to go to a place under the pretense of help only to feel totally emotionally disembowelled was ... I don't have words. And by the time I figured out that I had disconnected a part of myself largely as a result of that experience, a nickel and a dime had passed. For me, CEDU exacerbated any experiences I had pre-CEDU and it had a very formative role in how I perceived people afterward.  The problem was this all operated on a subconscious level. If I understood it earlier, I could have tried to remediate it.

So why did I go to CEDU? I have no skeletons and like I said, no addictions/convictions/violent rages from hell - really nothing too out of the ordinary. But at the same time, I do not wish to be sincerely vulnerable here among vicious people. And frankly, it's not just (for lack of a better term) the programmies I don't feel like sharing with. There was a time I'd share to all but there have been too many threats and meanness for me ever to truly bare my soul. Things have simply gone too far, all across the board.  

I didn't feel that way about Fornits in 2004-5.
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Offline Che Gookin

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Re: Post your positive program experiences
« Reply #200 on: August 26, 2010, 01:54:14 AM »
Quote from: "Samara"
DB, my impatience and ire on the subject of my attendance at CEDU is not because I find you fascinated by the circumstances that led up to it, but because of prior insinuation I deserved it. CEDU was a shock to me. That adult staff could lie to that extent - both to my parents and about their academic and therapeutic practices - was mindblowing to me. The sense of helplessness and disempowerment was overwhelming. After CEDU - I could not process the events that took place there on a psychological basis. But it really disrupted a level of trust in people I never regained. The experience deeply disturbed me on a molecular level.  Because I split, I never spoke about it to anyone and it festered; I didn't even know to analyze it or discard it because I really needed to believe there was a purpose to it.

Yes, I know its not the Holocaust or Rwanda. And yes, on an intellectual level I know bad shit happens all the time. And yes, I had experienced trauma pre-CEDU but to go to a place under the pretense of help only to feel totally emotionally disembowelled was ... I don't have words. And by the time I figured out that I had disconnected a part of myself largely as a result of that experience, a nickel and a dime had passed. For me, CEDU exacerbated any experiences I had pre-CEDU and it had a very formative role in how I perceived people afterward.  The problem was this all operated on a subconscious level. If I understood it earlier, I could have tried to remediate it.

So why did I go to CEDU? I have no skeletons and like I said, no addictions/convictions/violent rages from hell - really nothing too out of the ordinary. But at the same time, I do not wish to be sincerely vulnerable here among vicious people. And frankly, it's not just (for lack of a better term) the programmies I don't feel like sharing with. There was a time I'd share to all but there have been too many threats and meanness for me ever to truly bare my soul. Things have simply gone too far, all across the board.  

I didn't feel that way about Fornits in 2004-5.

I missed having you around. :)
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Offline Anne Bonney

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Re: Post your positive program experiences
« Reply #201 on: August 26, 2010, 02:38:34 PM »
Quote from: "Samara"
Look, DB, I never claimed to be perfect, but I certainly did not deserve to be isolated and psychologically abused at CEDU. I wrote notes to my parents and left them on my bed when I snuck out, for Christ sake's! I could be a bit sneaky like teenagers often are, but I never lied to a direct question.  I did not vandalize, commit arson,shoplift, or raise a fist at anyone. I never took the car out without asking. I experimented with drugs recreationally, but did not buy, sell, or give Blow jobs for coke. I stopped recreational use 5-6 months BEFORE Cedu because it wasn't all that interesting to me.  I was not a "bad" kid.  I wasn't even a "mean girl." And frankly, many -if not most kids- experiment with all the items on the aforementioned list without meriting residency at Looney Toonville.

If I was a bad, bad gal (and to me, a bad person is a person who lacks empathy or a sociopath) all CEDU would do is reinforce maladaptive behavior. So a program based on fraudulent and therapeutically fictitious methods is not helpful to anyone.  Not to mention its abusive interactive model.  I cringe when I think of the communication tactics learned at these places (plenty of which I've seen here).

I have enough self worth to know that I did not deserve this.


 :notworthy:  :notworthy:  :notworthy:
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Offline DannyB II

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Re: Post your positive program experiences
« Reply #202 on: August 26, 2010, 02:51:36 PM »
Quote from: "Samara"
DB, my impatience and ire on the subject of my attendance at CEDU is not because I find you fascinated by the circumstances that led up to it, but because of prior insinuation I deserved it. CEDU was a shock to me. That adult staff could lie to that extent - both to my parents and about their academic and therapeutic practices - was mindblowing to me. The sense of helplessness and disempowerment was overwhelming. After CEDU - I could not process the events that took place there on a psychological basis. But it really disrupted a level of trust in people I never regained. The experience deeply disturbed me on a molecular level.  Because I split, I never spoke about it to anyone and it festered; I didn't even know to analyze it or discard it because I really needed to believe there was a purpose to it.

Yes, I know its not the Holocaust or Rwanda. And yes, on an intellectual level I know bad shit happens all the time. And yes, I had experienced trauma pre-CEDU but to go to a place under the pretense of help only to feel totally emotionally disembowelled was ... I don't have words. And by the time I figured out that I had disconnected a part of myself largely as a result of that experience, a nickel and a dime had passed. For me, CEDU exacerbated any experiences I had pre-CEDU and it had a very formative role in how I perceived people afterward.  The problem was this all operated on a subconscious level. If I understood it earlier, I could have tried to remediate it.

So why did I go to CEDU? I have no skeletons and like I said, no addictions/convictions/violent rages from hell - really nothing too out of the ordinary. But at the same time, I do not wish to be sincerely vulnerable here among vicious people. And frankly, it's not just (for lack of a better term) the programmies I don't feel like sharing with. There was a time I'd share to all but there have been too many threats and meanness for me ever to truly bare my soul. Things have simply gone too far, all across the board.  

I didn't feel that way about Fornits in 2004-5.

I do not disagree with most of what you had to say, as usual. The only thing I would like to say is, please know this. I would never insinuate that you deserved the shit that CEDU put you through. Why?? I would then have to say I warranted everything Elan threw at me and others I witnessed. You misunderstood, Samara.


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« Reply #203 on: August 26, 2010, 06:12:22 PM »
Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010
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Offline iamartsy

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Re: Post your positive program experiences
« Reply #204 on: August 26, 2010, 06:13:54 PM »
I don't have a single positive memory of treatment. I was in 4 treatment centers (one for less than a week), and I don't have a single positive memory. Oh wait, there was the bored nurse who decided to take us all to Galveston, and that day ended in a confrontation session at me. I still don't know why. One of our guys had gone done the road and scored some heroin, and somehow when we were confronting him, I got lambasted! Considering, I went in for depression, that was the last thing I needed. Maybe it was supposed to lift my depression. The beach lifted it and the confrontation made me fake my way out of there. My most positive memories were being discharged!

Why would anyone think there was a positive memory? The most negative ones are the nightmares I still live with!
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Offline Whooter

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Re: Post your positive program experiences
« Reply #205 on: August 26, 2010, 06:22:46 PM »
Quote from: "iamartsy"
I don't have a single positive memory of treatment. I was in 4 treatment centers (one for less than a week), and I don't have a single positive memory. Oh wait, there was the bored nurse who decided to take us all to Galveston, and that day ended in a confrontation session at me. I still don't know why. One of our guys had gone done the road and scored some heroin, and somehow when we were confronting him, I got lambasted! Considering, I went in for depression, that was the last thing I needed. Maybe it was supposed to lift my depression. The beach lifted it and the confrontation made me fake my way out of there. My most positive memories were being discharged!

Why would anyone think there was a positive memory? The most negative ones are the nightmares I still live with!

Iamartsy, it depends on the program,  Obviously from reading here on fornits most of the experiences were negative.  But there are many kids who were helped during their time there.  They met new friends which they keep in contact with after graduation, many keep in touch with staff members who helped them get through some of the rough patches.

My daughter had many good memories that she speaks of.  White water rafting trip and her 6 week immersion into Costa Rica to help with the community and learn a new language.  She lived with a local family with whom she still writes to on occasion.

But obviously if the time spent there was a nightmare and/or you were abused then the positive experience would be when you finally got out.  so I understand many peoples point of view here.



...
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Offline Botched Programming

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Re: Post your positive program experiences
« Reply #206 on: August 26, 2010, 09:56:54 PM »
(1) My most positive program experience was walking out the door never to return..
(2) Choking the shit out of bigger guy that staff put behind me in attempt to make me conform to their petty torture..

 :cheers:
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Offline Samara

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Re: Post your positive program experiences
« Reply #207 on: August 26, 2010, 10:24:37 PM »
White water river rafting and wilderness treks are great. Many former CEDU peers posit the wilderness treks as a welcome respite. In my day, the guy who ran them was inculcated, but gentle and loving. He was not power staff, and truly enjoyed the outdoors. It was more his forte than mind fucks. The thing is, it doesn't make the rest of this particular program OK. It was just a break from Nut Nut ville.
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Offline DannyB II

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Re: Post your positive program experiences
« Reply #208 on: August 26, 2010, 11:25:42 PM »
The only positive experience I can think I had was being picked to deliver food and supplies for Elan just about everyday. Sometimes this would last all day. Please explain to me how a seventeen year old is allowed to drive a company vehicle around with other under age students. Insurance restrictions must have been very lacks in Maine. Maybe playing football also was a positive experience.
Am I the only one here but I sure do feel guilty posting anything positive when I know others that went to Elan would find it very hard posting anything here positive.
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Offline none-ya

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Re: Post your positive program experiences
« Reply #209 on: August 27, 2010, 02:05:08 AM »
I'm sorry.
I'm being completely honest here.
I really can't think of a single positive experience from the seed.
Not one.
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