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Author Topic: I want my own cult  (Read 1853 times)

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Offline DannyB11

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I want my own cult
« on: August 02, 2010, 02:03:52 PM »
Hi all, my name is Danny and I am looking for disciples to worship me in my new cult. I have been trolling the city streets late at night looking for converts but they are all broke and homeless. I need dopers, er I mean people with some cash to spend so we can work together building a drug-free utopia. I have extensive training in how to lead a cult properly and now i intend to put that training to good use. I am currently taking donations to buy a certain plot of land down in Guyana. A friend of mine once lived there and the land is cheap now. All who are interested in potentially joining forces with me feel free to contact me anytime here on fornits. Peace and Powerlessness to you all.
Danny
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Peace and Powerlessness(TM)

Offline Pile of Dead Kids

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Re: I want my own cult
« Reply #1 on: August 02, 2010, 02:29:40 PM »
Have you considered opening a program?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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...Sergey Blashchishen, James Shirey, Faith Finley, Katherine Rice, Ashlie Bunch, Brendan Blum, Caleb Jensen, Alex Cullinane, Rocco Magliozzi, Elisa Santry, Dillon Peak, Natalynndria Slim, Lenny Ortega, Angellika Arndt, Joey Aletriz, Martin Anderson, James White, Christening Garcia, Kasey Warner, Shirley Arciszewski, Linda Harris, Travis Parker, Omega Leach, Denis Maltez, Kevin Christie, Karlye Newman, Richard DeMaar, Alexis Richie, Shanice Nibbs, Levi Snyder, Natasha Newman, Gracie James, Michael Owens, Carlton Thomas, Taylor Mangham, Carnez Boone, Benjamin Lolley, Jessica Bradford's unnamed baby, Anthony Parker, Dysheka Streeter, Corey Foster, Joseph Winters, Bruce Staeger, Kenneth Barkley, Khalil Todd, Alec Lansing, Cristian Cuellar-Gonzales, Janaia Barnhart, a DRA victim who never even showed up in the news, and yet another unnamed girl at Summit School...

Joel

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Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010
« Reply #2 on: August 02, 2010, 04:44:57 PM »
Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010
« Last Edit: October 07, 2010, 06:41:13 PM by Joel »
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Offline DannyB11

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Re: I want my own cult
« Reply #3 on: August 02, 2010, 04:58:25 PM »
Thanks for the input Pile and Joel. its nice to know that there are people interested in being my disciples. I will already count you both as loyal minions. I think I will base the cult after that which i am familiar with: the Elan School. I want to share my vast knowledge with you all.
Peace and Powerlessness
Danny
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline DannyB11

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Re: I want my own cult
« Reply #4 on: August 02, 2010, 06:08:14 PM »
The cult of Danny has several hoops to jump through before you can be considered for full membership. The first and most important: You must admit your complete and utter powerlessness over drugs and alcohol. This is the key step. Once you go there in your own mind then I have you hooked for life.
Peace and Powerlessness
Danny
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Offline DannyB11

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Re: I want my own cult
« Reply #5 on: August 04, 2010, 11:55:27 AM »
I was trolling for fresh souls to serve me in the afterlife last night at an AA meeting in a rather seedy part of town. My eyes were red with exhaustion from days and nights spent feverishly typing on my computer keyboard. So everybody thought I was stoned. The people at the meeting would not worship my sobriety. I got upset and then I became powerless. It felt so good because then I had SUCK IT to keep me company. SUCK IT has better use of grammar than myself so I let him take the lead. Before long we had every drunk in there celebrating their powerlessness over alcohol. Another great night out on the town.
Peace and Powerlessness
Danny
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Anne Bonney

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Re: I want my own cult
« Reply #6 on: August 05, 2010, 11:23:42 AM »
Quote from: "DannyB11"
Hi all, my name is Danny and I am looking for disciples to worship me in my new cult. I have been trolling the city streets late at night looking for converts but they are all broke and homeless. I need dopers, er I mean people with some cash to spend so we can work together building a drug-free utopia. I have extensive training in how to lead a cult properly and now i intend to put that training to good use. I am currently taking donations to buy a certain plot of land down in Guyana. A friend of mine once lived there and the land is cheap now. All who are interested in potentially joining forces with me feel free to contact me anytime here on fornits. Peace and Powerlessness to you all.
Danny


« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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traight, St. Pete, early 80s
AA is a cult http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult.html

The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents-- because they have a tame child-creature in their house.  ~~  Frank Zappa

Offline DannyB II

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Re: I want my own cult
« Reply #7 on: August 05, 2010, 11:48:02 PM »
Quote from: "Anne Bonney"
Quote from: "DannyB11"
Hi all, my name is Danny and I am looking for disciples to worship me in my new cult. I have been trolling the city streets late at night looking for converts but they are all broke and homeless. I need dopers, er I mean people with some cash to spend so we can work together building a drug-free utopia. I have extensive training in how to lead a cult properly and now i intend to put that training to good use. I am currently taking donations to buy a certain plot of land down in Guyana. A friend of mine once lived there and the land is cheap now. All who are interested in potentially joining forces with me feel free to contact me anytime here on fornits. Peace and Powerlessness to you all.
Danny



Anne, you do know this is not me but another poster, displaying my user name. Look at the avatar not the same.
Now if you did know this, well then you may want to for-go work today and see your doctor. I think your still plugged.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Stand and fight, till there is no more.
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