I was in a adolescent treatment program, one that has its own dedicated forum on this website. According to fornits lore and mythology I should have been beaten, raped, "mindfucked", brainwashed, and finally murdered. Well, since I'm typing this they obviously failed at the murder part. But they also failed to do the other actions listed, I guess I must of slipped through the system and not been part of the experience fornits touts as typical. Or perhaps the mythology here is bullshit, I'll leave that for you to decide.
One of the funny aspects of the fornits mythology is that supposedly teens who just recently left programs are brainwashed, and so it takes a few years, or decades for this intense brainwashing to wear off, then finally you can begin to realize how you were victimized by a treatment program. Well this wasn't the case for me. I resisted treatment and actually disliked it at the time, and if asked right after getting out if it helped me I would of said hell no, it sucked! But as much as I disliked it, you wouldn't of heard me comparing it to nazi concentration camps, or claiming to be "mindfucked", abused or raped. So my timeline is kind of backwards compared to some others. As I matured over the years I realized how self centered I was and am now able to look at my experience from the perspective of others, like my family and the people who worked at the treatment center. I realized they were trying to help me, and ultimately they did help me, and probably saved my life.
Going from being a teen without boundaries doing whatever you please to being put in a strict treatment program is going to be a sour pill to swallow for any kid. I was no different, and I hated my parents at the time for "doing it to me". Now I realize I did it to myself. I pushed, and pushed. Finally my family and society had to push back, and by doing so showed me a path I would have never found on my own. A path to sobriety, responsibility and sane living. I am thankful now for all their hard work, and I did not make it easy for anyone I questioned it every chance I got, and fought to remain in my own insulated and self absorbed world of self destruction. But sometimes a jolt is needed to get somebody out of this self destructive pattern and that is exactly what happened to me.
The world I experienced while in treatment bears little to no resemblance of what is described on this forum. What this forum does it pretty simple, and effective. When there are thousands of kids at any time in treatment, and they live there 24/7 for long periods of time ultimately sometimes negative things will happen, just like bad things happen in a family home or school, or wherever. Fornits poster seize on these brief moments of negativity and use them to generalize about all treatment programs, and claim all kids are abused, maimed, mindfucked, raped and murdered. Well their extreme view is nothing like what I experienced, and supposedly, as it is described the place I went was supposed to be that way.
What I remember is staff who generally cared deeply for the kids they were in charge of monitoring. I remember kids from all over who had various issues and family problems and were working to better themselves the best they could. I remember close friendships with both staff and other kids. Yes there are growing pains when you are attempting to shift your entire lifestyle and worldview. When I was asked why I was there, I would respond" i don't know, as my parents" and thought of myself as a victim. Now I know this view is totally incorrect, but it is a comfortable position to be in because you never have to address your own responsibility for your own poor choices. It's easy to blame other people, but the truth is my actions is what caused me to be put in treatment and nothing else. I have nobody to blame but myself for finding myself in treatment, and I realize this now. And although I fought against change for most of the time, the lessons I learned have served me throughout my life so far and I am very grateful my parents decided to send me to treatment.
When I am having difficulties I look back on my program memories fondly now, and even though at the time this was a difficult time it was a very important time. When you become an adult and still have the same issues and problems as when you were a troubled teen, then there is a chance that when society finally pushes back that you will not find yourself in a treatment center but more likely prison or worse. That's where I was headed and if my parents had been able to google and find a forum like this, and were gullible enough to believe what they would have been told, the outcome for myself in the long run would of been very sad. I look back on my program time with nostalgia now because I know how incredibly important that time was, and how finally my negative self destructive ideas were challenged to a degree I had no choice but to address is. I was willing to lie , cheat, steal or whatever to get out of the program at the time. I claimed i was being abused and luckily my parents were smart enough to know it wasn't true. I felt very bad to the people I accused of this, because they later found out I lied and tried to get taken home using this strategy. Eventually I asked for their forgiveness and they were kind enough to offer it to me.
It really takes a selfless person to work with troubled teens, because to put it mildly we challenge and make their life difficult when going through the emotional growing pains that occur while in treatment. It's sort of interesting how something I felt was difficult at the time and would have done anything to get out, I now look fondly and with reverence as a life saving experience. This is because I can look at my experience now and realize it was completely of my own making. It's easy to view this as a victim vs. victimizer role, innocent child vs. evil program. But that is not accurate nor even close to the reality of what goes on in treatment. Fornits can be so ridiculously off base regarding the reality of programs, I am beginning to wonder what is it's purpose? Truth is not something that is highly prized here on this forum, only anecdotes or other evidence that happens to corroborate the strongly held beliefs here that all programs are inherently evil.
I wish I could go back in time and really use the time in treatment to its fullest, as I wasted a lot of time fighting it and being arrogant and wanting to remain in my old ways. I was such an asshole to everybody then I also wish I could go back and apologize for the things I did and the things I said. It actually would be a lot easier for me to pretend to be a victim, and blame everything on the program and staff as others here do, but in my heart I know that it's not true. They tried their best to help me and I tried my best to prevent that, but ultimately the message seeped through and I am so thankful for that. I know nobody would know exactly who I am that is reading this, but I'm going to go ahead and offer an apology to the program staff for being to objectionable during the process and being so rude and difficult. I have a respect for the people who are willing to work with troubled teens. They didn't get paid very much and I know they weren't in it for the money, or any other reason than they really wanted to make a difference, this is something that good people do with themselves and I respect that and thank them for that.
As I look back on my time in treatment, overall it was a challenging experience. For a time I wished it never happened, and I could of just gone on being self destructive and deluding myself into thinking its a fine way to live. But I have matured to a point where I know that would have only ended in tragedy. Eventually you have to wake up and realize the only person you are hurting is yourself. Instead of wandering into adulthood with these same safe destructive beliefs my parents were smart enough to get me the jolt I needed to wake up while still in adolescence. When I got back I had to make all new friends and start a new life, I was in a different place than my old friends. Some of them continued with the same behavior and continued to be addicts well into their 20's with no end in sight. I hope they will have a jolt of some kind that will help them realize they would be better off ending that self destructive behavior, but unfortunately now their families cannot get them help unless they ask for it. I would have never asked for help, but I desperately needed it, and now I am so very thankful to the people involved with helping me, even if at the time I did not feel that way.
Some behaviors are just a slow form of suicide. According to posters here on fornits, we should just allow teens to kill themselves with self destructive behaviors because there is a very slim chance of a negative experience while in treatment. I'm sorry but this argument doesn't add up. There is a reason you can force a suicidal person into treatment, and self destructive behaviors are just as suicidal as going and standing on the ledge of a building or putting a gun up to your head. An experience that was one of the most challenging in my life, being in treatment, saved my life. Today I look back on this experience with nostalgia and wish I could have made better use of the time back then. So thank you to all those who dedicate their lives to helping troubled teens, you really were/ are our guardian angels.
