Author Topic: What I Wanted to Say to the Daytop Counselors  (Read 1144 times)

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Offline Paul St. John

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What I Wanted to Say to the Daytop Counselors
« on: July 16, 2010, 09:43:30 PM »
Ya know, itís been  a very rough year for me.  I donít know if you heard, but I developed a drinking problem and everything.   Do you think maybe you could tell me who I really am, and assault me with your pseudo-psychology another time?  This really is not a good time.  Can we play these childish games another time perhaps?  You see, my life actually has been difficult, and so I have had to grow up.  I can appreciate that you have yet to grow up, and so took a job making guesses about who people really are, and I am totally cool with it, but I really just don t have time for it now.  See, I  know, that this is all very fun for you, and that you really don t give a fuck about anybody, and that no one ever taught you that words have actual, purposeful meanings, and therefore, the best way to earn a living is by actually EARNING one, but I am not like these other kids.  I am not looking for a distraction from reality.  Every second that I waste on your stupidity, is a second that I could spend actually getting to the heart of the matter and really helping myself out.

See, I donít think solutions actually require a a circus. See, if I want to get from one place to another, I just go there.  It does not require for me, that I redefine all of my terms.  I just go.  If I want to get to the end of a road,  I simply walk straight for a few minutes, and I am there.  I donít need to dig up the street.  You counselors, just keep digging, and digging, and digging.   You feel at peace, when kids carry out their role in the play, because it makes you think that what you are doing is right.  When someone doesnít play their role in your illusion, you get very scared, and so you start digging more, and more, and more, faster, and faster, until you make such a mess of things that the person does start to play along, just so you stop digging.

Can you look at me, please?  I am a man of dignity and integrity.  I donít need your help.  It is a big mistake- My ending up in here.  I am not an idiot.  I donít want to play your game.  You are helping no one.  You have helped no one.

But then this isn t really about helping anyone. Is it? It is about playing a game.  Itís about playing the ď we are real important and we know about stuff that nobody else doesĒ game.   It is about pretending to have an occupation.

Do you really think screaming at people all of the time, is going to help them?  Have ever questioned this?

I know.  I am not suppose to be a man, and neither is anyone else here, suppose to be a man or woman.. The whole point is that we realize that we are ď family membersĒ now.  We are suppose to accept our responsibilities to others.  There is only one problem with these responsibilities.  They are made up.  They are not real.  I donít owe a single person in this facility a damned thing.  If anything ,you owe me for my time, and they owe me for all the stupidity, I have had to endure at the hands of the ignorant little fucks.  They are willing to be stupid.  I am not.  They think that another person can give them importance.  I do not.  They are willing to make the best out of regression.  I will be doing my best not to regress.

I know that you have been hurting people for so long, itís hard to remember that that is not a normal thing to do, but donít you ever feel even a little bad?  Are you really this stupid?  I know that you must have moments of clarity, but, I guess, that by now, you are pretty good at fighting them off.  All you counselors seem to be always immersed in your program-mentality.  I can understand why.  It must keep you very safe form the truth- YOU ARE AN ENEMY OF GOOD!

And thatís cool.  There are all sorts of fucked up assholes in the world, but again, I just donít have the time for you now.   I got an interesting idea.  How Ďbout, you shut this shit down, let all the kids go( or these monsters you have created that were once kids), and you all just attack each other?  Nope!  Thatís right.  I forgot.  Society owes you itís kids, and a living, because you overcame YOUR drug addictions.  You had it so hard, and that makes you better then everybody else, and now they owe you.  They also owe you because you conformed for them.  You followed the program, and you gave up your destructive ways, for the good of others.  But thatís shitís not free.  Now they owe you.  Others owe you.  You did this for them.

See, this is what it really looks like.  I am not guessing.

Paul St. John
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