Simply put please don't contact me again for the last time

[Paul St. John]

I don't know wtf is happening here, but why not just stop talking to people you don't like and not engaging when asked?  Don't contact me seems like a reasonable request whether the person is reasonable or not. Boundaries and all that.  (A GOOD thing, although contrary to program teachings.) I do not know what started this latest quagmire but it does seem like a bottomless pit.  No reason to drool or eat glue or contact people that hate your guts or whatever.

As far as this is concerned, Danny is the problem.  I am not trying to single anybody out, but I have followed some of this, and the thing is that Danny truly believes that he has the right to harass people, and forcing them to converse with him.  I'm not just saying this for the hell of it.  It is very clear.

Then, if he does not get what he wants out of somebody, he attacks them.  Rather then win an argument on the merits of point of view, he takes cheap shots.  He basically gives people a mini-haircut, exactly as I remember them.

In his mind, you are either with him or against him.

There are certain things, that I just don t understand how he cannot get them.

For example..

Why would you keep telling the owner of a website that you post on, that they are now your enemy.  Most people would just say, " Oh so I am your enemy?  Okay.. Fuck you.  Don't post on my site anymore.  Good-bye.  Fuck you. Fuck your project. Fuck your purging.  It's not my problem, and if you are my enemy, why should I enable you to carry out your objectives?"

That is what I would do...

"Okay.. Good bye, Dickhead.. been real"

Danny seems to think he has some kind of rights over other people.

Call me crazy, I still can t condemn him completly yet.. I just don t think that I know enough yet.. but hey that s me.

Either way, he doesn t let things go. He seems to enjoy all this to an extent.

Paul

[Anne Bonney]

Either way, he doesn t let things go. He seems to enjoy all this to an extent.

Paul

Staff syndrome.

[Samara]

I guess I am confused because I haven't paid attention to Elan stuff and Danny seemed to indicate that he understood the program's f*cked upness to me in another post. On the other hand, I can see he has alienated himself from people here.  Just wondering why anyone would want to force a conversation and how they'd do that.

Are you saying he is like a Whooter. Who, I don't get. He is pro-program but lives at Fornits.

 :peace:

[SharonMcCarthy]

Thank you Annie. I think many just do not fully get the idea of forums when they first come into one. It does change a lot in ones self and ways of even teaching restraint. I have no doubt I may spout in the future I just hope it shall never get as bad to make me feel embarrassed about who I am again. I also learned the past has got to remain there in order to fully make good changes and even maybe help someone down the line. For example; the ones that went threw Elan are now still able to have a life if they can accept the fact they went threw hell, and be able to fully move forward in life. We are still giving Elan the control over our lives even 20 plus years later. if we allow them to haunt us forever...they win.

The program is so deep in us, and we get so confrontational. We instinctively lash out to protect the little we got left of our dignity. But no one defines us, we define ourselves. These forums will always have their assholes, and smartasses because that is how they choose to be. We cannot change them or shut them up. But we got power to ignore, and chose who we wish to associate with and respond too. Oh, yes a great learning experience is here. I lately enjoy the reading aspect on here there is so much information. I see now why when threads are flooded how it stops really digging into the important information.

[Anne Bonney]

 Just wondering why anyone would want to force a conversation and how they'd do that.

Staff syndrome is why.  Continuously PM someone or beat them down whenever they post in a thread anywhere until they get fed up and leave is how.

Who, I don't get. He is pro-program but lives at Fornits.

Damage control.  He makes his living, I believe, off programs.

[DannyB II]

...

[Antigen]

Either way, he doesn t let things go. He seems to enjoy all this to an extent.

Paul

Staff syndrome.

Yup, possible case of SPD

[Paul St. John]

Lill` John do me a favor take your vagina suit off that says, "Ginger" and put your penis back in its place...OK.
You are so out of the loop your running backwards.
Welcome to my hell I call fornits....lol. Read the posts I received the first day I was here.
Jeesh I have not even started yet Lill` John.

Danny

I guess this post is to me...

My name's Paul.  Okay, so now that we have that coverred.. I m not so sure what is meant by this vagina suit.  I never actualy wnet to Elan, or perhaps, I might have had to have worn a vagina suit.  But... I use to talk to Ginger through Im's and such.  See her, and a few other people here, I actually know and like, and they have earned my respect..

You I don t know, but I haven t been looking over your posting history a bit, and you attack the shit out of people all the time.

I know what it means that you haven t started here, but for a guy who hates this place so much, you sure seem to need a lot from  it.

Everything I wrote in my post was correct.  You didn t respond to any of it, you only recomended that I reaffix my penis..lol

Honestly, I don t even know why I am wasting my time with this shit.

I think if you people would work together, you would get a lot further.

Danny, when you don t get your way, you resort to being a counselor.  Don't tell me that I am wrong.  I am not stupid, and neither is everybody else.


Paul

PS I d like to see you get your story out.. When is it coming?  Your memory seems to serve you just fine whenever it is in your own defense.

Lill`John,
Listen move on, OK. I don't have the time or patience for this shit.

No.  You only have the time and patience for senseless arguing.  That, to you, is a valuable use of your time.

Your another in a long line of re-
brain washed pupils.

You know that that isn't true.


 Can't you see it you have replaced one for another.

Nope. and I don't know how you can presume to see it, after so little interaction with me...

Nope.  My mind works fine. I am drawing my own conclusions.. Not brainwashed.


 I will admit though this (Fornits) is a upgrade.


An upgrade from what?  You know something of my past?


Good luck to ya.


.. and the same to you... But honestly, I think that it is you who should move on, and I will tell you why.  You are not ready for this.. You may never be, but definitly are not now. I am not saying this for the fun of it.. I don t hate you.. I don t even know you.. I am just offerring some valid advice.  This is going to amount to nothing... You are getting nowhere.


You have a deep-setaed resentment and hatred for the people on these boards.  It comes out of sometimes.  You will not be working towards anything long-lasing and of substance with the people on these boards any time in the near future.  I will not say that it is your fault.. I will only say that the issue is with you.   Yes, they do have a prejudice towards counselors.. I do, too... But, if you were thinking rationally, you would have expected that.  You would certainly not be suprised by it.

All that could be worked through most likely, if you went at the right way, but you can't.  You foster too much hostility towards these people, for whatever reason.  Nothing meaningful will come of your association with them.  You can think what you like, but I am only beuing honest with you.

Paul St. John  

(as in Paul St. John, not lil' John


Danny

[Antigen]

Honestly, this is not directed mainly at you. Anne said something above about people tending to melt down, to one degree or another, soon after coming into contact with other program vets. Just check out some of my earliest postings--especially those lobbed at Buzzkill--for a good example. I don't know how that woman finds the patience and generosity, but she actually calls me friend these days. And I'm grateful for that. I could cite countless other examples, but that would amount to talking shit on others and I try not to do too much of that.

Re: Samara's confusion about program fidelity, well that question comes up again and again. But I don't think that someone having a hostile response to other vets necessarily means they're pro-program. I think it has more to do with the way we all have gone about forming our settled views of our experiences and how meeting minds with others who's settled views are somewhat different can be very upsetting.

For almost 20 years, I thought my brother booted me from his house when I turned 18 cause my mom was pressuring him. When he said no, it's just that I had been acting like a "druggie" my head almost exploded! Shouldn't have mattered all that much, really. Either way I was booted and have had very limited contact with most of my family since. But I could understand his need to stay on good terms with our mom even if I couldn't do that. I could live with that. It was much harder to accept that my lovin brother booted me cause he thought my eyes looked glassy after working two shifts at two jobs while waiting for legal access to my high-school transcript. It blew my mind. They were shaking it off enough to help me escape the program but not enough to not enforce it outside the walls.

[DannyB II]

....

[SharonMcCarthy]

:karma:

[Anne Bonney]

 Just who are you, oh ex staff....asshole.

You made a point of talking A LOT about how you were Asst. Director.  That goes a bit beyond a teen counselor caught up in the hype, don't ya think?  And the entire attitude that you displayed...who was it, Paul I think, that said you came with the sense that you were the "new sheriff in town" and he was dead on!  You were gonna clean up nasty ole Fornits....for it's own good and against it's will.  

Inculcate starts it right off, starts asking me questions about Daytop that I take personal (since I had never been here) so I get defensive

Why on earth would you get defensive about being asked about a place you never attended?

(instead of pm'ing me to explain the ropes here, no she cuts me like a piece of meat right out in the open), Felice is asking me to suck Marty dick, that was my third day I think.

Go fucking cry about it ya pussy!  THIS is where you need to understand how your presence here, with the "staff" personality you spew out all over anyone and everyone (except your butt buddy Whooter) brings out such anger......You - an Asst. Director of one of the most sadistic and abusive programs is crying about people being mean?  About how they're not being nice to you???  Put your big-boy pants on and man the fuck up you spineless piece of shit!  I'm sorry, but THAT is EXACTLY why so many people have such a problem with you. Did you ever read Rich's apology to the Straight people? He was also an "executive staff" but I tell ya...he presented himself 180 degrees from how you did and he's ended up well respected for it.

So whatever Antigen on your and Annes little theory, (fornits) melts people down, example today Pile with poster "sad". Could you get any more brutal, sad part he is just play'in a part he invented some time ago. Dude doesn't act like that in real life.

And I highly doubt you do either.   You're too much of a crybaby to talk that shit to people face to face. Guaran-damn-teed!!

Acts just like "Sean Hannity", it is a act, Sean is getting paid. Pile is getting paid, vengence (get back) attention and most of all validation.

What the fuck are you babbling about?

Your right if your thinking I'm no different, (I'm going to be worse) to open your eyes to the brutality that goes on here. Keep blaming it on me, most of you folks that have been here the longest Ursus, Anne, ect.....Bravo keep piling it on.

The hostility and brutality towards YOU is because of YOU.

You only show posters how much intelligence you have,really.

 :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:


 

Antigen you probably came here with your ideas, lonely and raging and this opened up to become a vent for you but that is your story.

Yeah.....and.....??

All the studies, analysis's, diagnosis, trials, conferences that you folks post they are the individual or (plural) opinions and stories (if such the case) not ours necessarily.

Not "ours"?  Who are you referring to?

A lot of you folks post articles and studies by others and then talk about them like their your experiences (I understand identifying but in reality their not mine)

Ok...I don't think anyone was even remotely attempting to speak for you dear.  I don't think we'd know how.  :ftard:

, hardly anyone speaks in the "I".

Because we've rehashed our own stories enough.  Frankly, I've done enough venting about my own personal pain.  Hell, I've been here off and on for damn near 10 years trying to first, figure out my own shit and then later to warn parents and kids about what really happens in the shitpits and offer help, if I can.

[Ursus]

Inculcate starts it right off, starts asking me questions about Daytop that I take personal (since I had never been here) so I get defensive

Why on earth would you get defensive about being asked about a place you never attended?

Fwiw, according to Danny and as first posted (#15) on December 6, 2009 in the are there any success stories? thread, he did attend Daytop:

...One addict helping another is a miracle if you do not know this then you weren't a Alcoholic/Addict of my type and that is ok. I have been clean and sober for 21yrs. That I share for my own reasons but I believe to a certain degree it qualifies me to get a seat at the table also I am qualified because I spent from 6/71 till 1/77 incarcerated in one form or another. In drug treatment programs Daytop 71, Marathon house 73 and Elan 75 in between in and out of Y.C.C. in Cranston R.I. So I understand full well what everyone here is talking about and I am willing to be a student. But I won't just sit around and talk about the problem with no end in site, we also have to talk about the solution. To end here in 1971 I was twelve years old. Thanks Love and Peace Danny[/list]

Here was Inculcated's response (#16) that Danny took so personal:

Hi Danny Bennison,
I was startled to see how many of these programs you were in. I’m happy you’ve found a happiness and stability away from your addiction (21 years-nice) and very sincerely sorry that you had to endure so much to get there.

What are the reasons that you were in three of these very similar, but separate programs? In addtion to Elan, I am very curious to know what your recollections of Daytop and Marathon House were like. Which facilities were you in?[/list]

Danny's response (#17):

Inculated, This name does not help me to want to open up and explain anything. If you want to give me your full name I will get more intimate with my personal history. It would also help if you could share your own experiences that relates to what I shared earlier if you can't identify with me in life history I would very much appreciate you not asking me questions so direct. Not trying to be snotty just setting the table that's all. My full name is Daniel Lee Bennison email ([email protected]). Why because I can. Thanks Love and Peace Danny[/list]

...And, it kinda goes downhill f-a-s-t from there. This thread might be insightful reading for someone, lol.

[Ursus]

(instead of pm'ing me to explain the ropes here, no she cuts me like a piece of meat right out in the open), Felice is asking me to suck Marty dick, that was my third day I think.

Go fucking cry about it ya pussy!  THIS is where you need to understand how your presence here, with the "staff" personality you spew out all over anyone and everyone (except your butt buddy Whooter) brings out such anger......You - an Asst. Director of one of the most sadistic and abusive programs is crying about people being mean?  About how they're not being nice to you???  Put your big-boy pants on and man the fuck up you spineless piece of shit!  I'm sorry, but THAT is EXACTLY why so many people have such a problem with you. Did you ever read Rich's apology to the Straight people? He was also an "executive staff" but I tell ya...he presented himself 180 degrees from how you did and he's ended up well respected for it.

Yep, he knows about it. Here's an exchange from the same time period as my previous post above, albeit a couple of days later, from the Ex-Staffers at Elan Ajustment w/ the Elan Community thread:

-------------- • -------------- • --------------

#1 Post by Danny Bennison » Thu Dec 10, 2009 3:27 am

I was an ex-staff and Director and I have experienced some hostility from ex-residents. Now to be honest I can't say I have handeled the conversations well especially the passionate ones. Now I was 17,18 and 19 when I was staff and I don't pretend to stand here and say I knew the job professionally or was trained. It was 31yrs. ago. I am having trouble adjusting, (I was a resident like everyone else than went to staff at 17 (what a joke) ) with my fellow residents. Would really like some advice on my re-entry back in to socializing. I have not done this since 1978 didn't even know these sites excisted.

#2 Post by Ursus  » Thu Dec 10, 2009 4:24 am

I was an ex-staff and Director and I have experienced some hostility from ex-residents.

Please define "Director" as it pertains to you.

You might also want to take a look at this thread:

An Apology to Survivors of Straight from a Former Exec Staff
viewtopic.php?f=7&t=26480[/list]

All in all, I'd have to venture that "reentry" will not be easy, but if you are sincere and keep at it, some folk will come around. Some won't; that's life.

#3 Post by Danny Bennison » Thu Dec 10, 2009 12:30 pm

I was an ex-staff and Director and I have experienced some hostility from ex-residents.

Please define "Director" as it pertains to you.

You might also want to take a look at this thread:

An Apology to Survivors of Straight from a Former Exec Staff
viewtopic.php?f=7&t=26480[/list]

All in all, I'd have to venture that "reentry" will not be easy, but if you are sincere and keep at it, some folk will come around. Some won't; that's life.

Ursus, Thank You first and foremost. The Apology was humbling to read honestly and I have some soul searching to do for a reply. Which will be coming soon on this thread and a site just for Elan. I am waking up for sure. You; asked me to explain Director as it pertains to me I am not sure how to answer this question b/cuz I am not sure I understand the question. Help!

#4 Post by Eliscu2  » Thu Dec 10, 2009 3:56 pm

I was an ex-staff and Director and I have experienced some hostility from ex-residents. Now to be honest I can't say I have handeled the conversations well especially the passionate ones. Now I was 17,18 and 19 when I was staff and I don't pretend to stand here and say I knew the job professionally or was trained. It was 31yrs. ago. I am having trouble adjusting, (I was a resident like everyone else than went to staff at 17 (what a joke) ) with my fellow residents. Would really like some advice on my re-entry back in to socializing. I have not done this since 1978 didn't even know these sites excisted.

Go Blow Jeff Gottlieb or Marty.
No body remembers you, but they remember each other hmmmmm.
Push your :bs: somewhere else. :roflmao:

#5 Post by Ursus  » Thu Dec 10, 2009 4:34 pm

You; asked me to explain Director as it pertains to me I am not sure how to answer this question b/cuz I am not sure I understand the question. Help!

Usually when people think of a "director," they think of a person who's in charge. Often The person in charge. I guess I just wanted you to clarify: were you in charge of other staff? Or were you simply what Elan calls a "therapeutic director," i.e., more or less regular staff?

Some more fodder for old memories:

Bad Company
viewtopic.php?f=2&t=27692[/list]

[Anne Bonney]

Fwiw, according to Danny and as first posted (#15) on December 6, 2009, he did attend Daytop:

Ah, I see.  My bad.  Thought he wrote "(since I had never been there.)"  I see now that he was referring to here.

...And, it kinda goes downhill f-a-s-t from there. This thread might be insightful reading for someone, lol.

Wow....right-o on both counts!