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Offline Samara

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Re: Social coping mechanisms(revised)
« Reply #15 on: May 09, 2010, 09:04:34 PM »
But to what degree are you, at this point, complicit in your defeat?
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Offline starry-eyed pirate

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Re: Social coping mechanisms(revised)
« Reply #16 on: May 09, 2010, 09:08:02 PM »
Quote from: "Samara"
I wouldn't wish Di dead over it.

I never wished her dead, but I was sure struck by my lack of compassion for her when I heard her fate.
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If you would have justice in this world, then begin to see that a human being is not a means to some end.  People are not commodities.  When human beings are just to one another government becomes obsolete and real freedom is born; SPIRITUAL ANARCHY.

Offline Samara

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Re: Social coping mechanisms(revised)
« Reply #17 on: May 09, 2010, 09:26:14 PM »
but she wouldn't know. She's on a trip... Gov't sets up her visits and lo and behold they have a lovely place that helps youths to show her. No one knows!!! I wouldn't know unless I went through it.
I don't think everything is all government conspiracy/ lack of compassion. I think some stuff is just ignorance. Good intentions ignorance, even. Since the beginning of time, there have been methods of social control. ... some that fed people's egotism or sadism but nearly always abetted by good ignorant people. Including people like us. I can think of many groups that were totally disempowered and disenfranchised at different times and if we were honest, we might admit that that we'd be part of the blind masses.
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Offline Froderik

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Re: Social coping mechanisms(revised)
« Reply #18 on: May 10, 2010, 10:28:00 AM »
Quote from: "starry-eyed pirate"
In $tr8 we weren't allowed to "avoid" our feelings or ourselves, but this is something you have to know how to do sometimes in the course of work or just catchin the bus or personal relationships.  Man, $tr8 just "F"ed us up good.  They brought so much social pressure against your coping mechanisms that eventually your coping mechanisms, were atrophied and incapable and in this way you were made vulnerable to the program.  Now in the real world, there have been times when I reacted to certain social situations in ways that I shouldn't have but, now I see what had been so confusing to me for so long.  Now I see why I have trouble.  I see the cause of so much stress and misunderstanding.  You have walls around your heart for a reason.  $tr8 was a rape.
Thanks; this does something to explain what you were saying a bit further. In their process of attempting to exert control by insisting we be "open" with all of our thoughts and feelings, they did plenty to fuck us up later on in life. Going from here, you could also explore and isolate other side effects resulting from having been subjected to such a strange and oppressive environment as Straight, Inc...
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Offline Froderik

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Re: Social coping mechanisms(revised)
« Reply #19 on: May 10, 2010, 10:36:55 AM »
Quote from: "Samara"
But to what degree are you, at this point, complicit in your defeat?
I don't know, but this question could be posed to anyone struggling with anything in life...

"But what part of it is your fault?"

A valid question, sure, and one certainly worth pondering -- but presently irrelevant lest we take heat off of the main offenders.
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Offline Froderik

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Re: Social coping mechanisms(revised)
« Reply #20 on: May 10, 2010, 10:41:49 AM »
Quote from: "Samara"
I don't think everything is all government conspiracy/ lack of compassion. I think some stuff is just ignorance. Good intentions ignorance, even. Since the beginning of time, there have been methods of social control. ... some that fed people's egotism or sadism but nearly always abetted by good ignorant people. Including people like us. I can think of many groups that were totally disempowered and disenfranchised at different times and if we were honest, we might admit that that we'd be part of the blind masses.
I'm not looking to dig up Diana's corpse and hang her or anything, but let's not turn the other cheek, either.
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Offline Anne Bonney

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Re: Social coping mechanisms(revised)
« Reply #21 on: May 10, 2010, 10:43:45 AM »
Quote from: "Froderik"
Quote from: "Samara"
But to what degree are you, at this point, complicit in your defeat?
I don't know, but this question could be posed to anyone struggling with anything in life...

"But what part of it is your fault?"

A valid question, sure, and one certainly worth pondering -- but presently irrelevant lest we take heat off of the main offenders.

Yep....it sucks.  They "broke" us but ultimately nobody can "fix" us but us.  At least that's been my experience.  We're left to try and put the pieces of our shattered psyche back together and it's not an easy task.  It wasn't until I completely rejected any form of the "self help/12 step" movement that I finally began to heal and reclaim what they took from me.  They buried our natural instincts, told us they were bad and wrong.  They convinced us we were powerless and I behaved much like that until I didn't have to live under that cloud anymore.  Only then did I even begin to recover.
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traight, St. Pete, early 80s
AA is a cult http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult.html

The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents-- because they have a tame child-creature in their house.  ~~  Frank Zappa

Offline Anne Bonney

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Re: Social coping mechanisms(revised)
« Reply #22 on: May 10, 2010, 10:44:27 AM »
Quote from: "Froderik"
Quote from: "Samara"
I don't think everything is all government conspiracy/ lack of compassion. I think some stuff is just ignorance. Good intentions ignorance, even. Since the beginning of time, there have been methods of social control. ... some that fed people's egotism or sadism but nearly always abetted by good ignorant people. Including people like us. I can think of many groups that were totally disempowered and disenfranchised at different times and if we were honest, we might admit that that we'd be part of the blind masses.
I'm not looking to dig up Diana's corpse and hang her or anything, but let's not turn the other cheek, either.

Meh...I blame Nancy for most of that.
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traight, St. Pete, early 80s
AA is a cult http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult.html

The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents-- because they have a tame child-creature in their house.  ~~  Frank Zappa

Offline Froderik

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it takes one to know one
« Reply #23 on: May 10, 2010, 12:48:34 PM »
Quote from: "Rusty Goat"
A buffer zone... I think is one thing that is needed. This link: http://www.psy.cmu.edu/~scohen/buffer84.pdf  may, if read somewhat thoroughly, at least pinpoint some ways in which those "lost" SCM's can be restored. You can't go back, you can only go forward, just keep that in mind... Meanwhile, I noticed when researching for links that this Fornits thread is number 5 on the GOOGLE "Social Coping Mechanisms" search page. I hope this helps. I think you can get the SCM's back if you really want them. FUCK STRAIGHT!!!  Take em back!  ::unhappy::

Another thought here is that in the beginning, you might be relegated to networking more with folks in a similar predicament (ie Survivors) as a main source of your support/social pool. At least that's the way I see it, but I also think you can step outside the box as well and out there, the sky's the limit!

RG  :cheers:
Added to one's own inward validation, it's a good thing you can get it from other survivors on this here interweb. It's great to have this potential insight and social support so readily available, thanks to sites like this one.
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Offline shaggys

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Re: Social coping mechanisms(revised)
« Reply #24 on: May 10, 2010, 02:23:48 PM »
Just knowing that I'm  not the only one who got F'd up, seems to have a soothing effect on my troubled mind - at least to some extent. Not that I am glad other people got screwed up but as humans we are social-animals, so we find it comforting to know that others share similar problems. thanks Fornits for providing this forum for interaction with fellow ex-Straightlings. It has helped alot.
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dragonfly

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Re: Social coping mechanisms(revised)
« Reply #25 on: May 11, 2010, 06:15:54 PM »
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Offline DannyB II

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Re: Social coping mechanisms(revised)
« Reply #26 on: May 11, 2010, 10:35:00 PM »
Quote from: "starry-eyed pirate"
Thanks Danny :shamrock:  :poison:  :peace:

 :shamrock:  :shamrock:

Your Welcome....

Danny
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Stand and fight, till there is no more.
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