How to get rid of a teenager in a few simple steps...

[maruska]

I WONDER IF   ANYONE WOULD HAVE AN ADVICE?

http://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custo ... 75-p2.html
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Why is the 15yo in "boarding" school?

Bottom line is that the stepmother was ticked off at the 15 year old and didn't want the daughter living with her. Before the marriage, the father was very lax on rules concerning the 15 year old. She did what she wanted. Then the stepmother moved in and imposed a lot of specific and strict rules. The 15 year old was given a huge written list of household chores that she was supposed to do daily. The girl balked at being turned into a maid. After about 3 weeks of conflict, 2 men showed up at the door and escorted the 15 year old to the airport and all the way to the camp in California. It costs something like 30-40k a year to keep her there...

My sister (the mother) was furious when she found out. She filed some motions but she didn't file the right one to "catch the court's attention." About 6 months after the girl was in CA, the court judge asked the father why the daughter was sent to camp. The judge asked, did she burn down a house? Steal a car? The father said no, that she "wasn't obeying the rules" at home.

The "camp" never allows family members to contact her unless they approve of and support their program. For that reason they have never allowed her own mother to communicate with the 15 year old. The stepmother however is allowed to write frequent letters to the 15 year old - and she mentions her deceased husband on literally every page. The father and stepmother claim the 15 year old is making "wonderful progress."

The father said that after the 15 year old completes the "program" in the California camp (summer 2010) then he will send her to an "internet gaming addiction camp." Back in January 2010, the extended family finally got to see the 15 year old for the first time since she was sent away. While she was glad to see us, she was also extremely depressed. She confided in some that she had thoughts of suicide, and also had written a suicide note a few months back while in CA. She is not doing good at all...

[Whooter]

Sorry to hear that, maruska.  I think the child and family should have a clear expectation of when the child will graduate and what the next steps are going to be.  This is not only healthy for the child but also for the parents.  I don’t understand the whole internet gaming addiction thing… why would she be addicted if she spends a year or more away from them?
As far as the bio mom.  She lost custody of her daughter and that is why she has no say at this point.  Its not that she is negative towards the program (that she is denied contact) but that she is negative towards her daughters stay there.  I think everyone would agree ( who has raised a child) that you cannot have one parent for something and the other against it… this just undermines the whole effort and can do damage to the childs development.



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[Che Gookin]

Fundraiser to hire a persuader to have a polite chat with the step-mother. Request a ball peen hammer be used on step-mom's thumbs.

[psy]

Sorry to hear that, maruska.  I think the child and family should have a clear expectation of when the child will graduate and what the next steps are going to be.  This is not only healthy for the child but also for the parents.  I don’t understand the whole internet gaming addiction thing… why would she be addicted if she spends a year or more away from them?

LOLs.  Because it's a program you idiot and they'd sell ice cubes to Eskimos.  No wonder the kid wants to kill herself.  Poor thing is caught in the middle of this insanity.  By the time she's finished with her she'll be going to some 12 step meeting preaching about how video games destroyed her life with a new-found Orwellian perspective on her past crimes against the peace loving folks of Mordor.

[DannyB II]

Sorry to hear that, maruska.  I think the child and family should have a clear expectation of when the child will graduate and what the next steps are going to be.  This is not only healthy for the child but also for the parents.  I don’t understand the whole internet gaming addiction thing… why would she be addicted if she spends a year or more away from them?

LOLs.  Because it's a program you idiot and they'd sell ice cubes to Eskimos.  No wonder the kid wants to kill herself.  Poor thing is caught in the middle of this insanity.  By the time she's finished with her she'll be going to some 12 step meeting preaching about how video games destroyed her life with a new-found Orwellian perspective on her past crimes against the peace loving folks of Mordor.

 :shamrock:  :shamrock:
Psy it may not be such a bad idea if she does get involved with a 12 step program when she gets out, she will have enough resentment. I would like to know why her bio mom lost custody and if any of this had a impact on her being disobediate.
Psy one other thing don't blame this shit on the program either, half of these programs are around to try and clean up the messes parents don't want to do. I am not saying these programs are great either but I am saying they wouldn't be around in mass if parents did there job. "LIKE HER BIO FATHER AND BIO MOTHER". Program this and program that, the fucking parents don't want to do shit.
Danny

[Che Gookin]

Name a program that does just this Danny. Don't play the vague programmie supporter game of "there's a program out there somewhere!" Be specific and name the names, because I'm damn near positive you'll get shot to pieces in about 3.4 seconds by a indepth google search. Also, 12 step for internet addiction? How about 12 step for 12 step addiction?


Oh wait.. don't we have that already? Anonyminity Anonymous or something like that? I remember ginger doing something with that.

[Whooter]

Sorry to hear that, maruska.  I think the child and family should have a clear expectation of when the child will graduate and what the next steps are going to be.  This is not only healthy for the child but also for the parents.  I don’t understand the whole internet gaming addiction thing… why would she be addicted if she spends a year or more away from them?

LOLs.  Because it's a program you idiot and they'd sell ice cubes to Eskimos.  No wonder the kid wants to kill herself.  Poor thing is caught in the middle of this insanity.  By the time she's finished with her she'll be going to some 12 step meeting preaching about how video games destroyed her life with a new-found Orwellian perspective on her past crimes against the peace loving folks of Mordor.

You assume you know why someone wants to kill themselves?  The kid might already be dead if not for the program she is attending and the reason for the internet problem cannot be explained by reading a second hand paragraph on the childs condition.
A lot of assumptions, psy.



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[Anne Bonney]

Speaking of assumptions, did it say anywhere that the bio mom "lost" custody?  I understand the girl was living with the father, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the mom lost custody.

[Whooter]

Speaking of assumptions, did it say anywhere that the bio mom "lost" custody?  I understand the girl was living with the father, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the mom lost custody.

Hey, I thought you had problems talking to someone who doesnt think kids have any rights.

Anyway to answer your question.  Programs, boarding schools, public schools or any transfer of power from parents to another entity etc.  You need the signature of both parents or the single parent who has custody.  Some divorces give full custody to one parent but allow for the non custodial parent to have a say in education and religious decisions.

Unless the mother is completely brain dead, all she has to do is call the school and say she doesnt approve and that she has partial custody and the child will be sent home within an hour and forfeit all the money the father paid and owes them via the contract  (the school makes out very well financially in this case, they get paid for a kid they dont have to feed for 16 months).  Otherwise she will own that boarding school within a few months.  Programs may do some underhanded things but they make sure they cover their asses legally when it comes to taking possession of a child.  The father had to send along a copy of his divorce decree showing he had custody and what the terms were.

But, you are right, I should have written my statement as an assumption, because we dont know for sure.



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[Anne Bonney]

Speaking of assumptions, did it say anywhere that the bio mom "lost" custody?  I understand the girl was living with the father, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the mom lost custody.

Hey, I thought you had problems talking to someone who doesnt think kids have any rights.

More antagonistic bullshit.  

IMO, people who don't think kids have any rights are twisted fucks.  Doesn't mean I'm afraid to go up against them and discuss it.  But the post wasn't addressed to you anyway.

Unless the mother is completely brain dead, all she has to do is call the school and say she doesnt approve and that she has partial custody and the child will be sent home within an hour and forfeit all the money the father paid and owes them via the contract  (the school makes out very well financially in this case, they get paid for a kid they dont have to feed for 16 months).

Bwaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!   :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:


Yeah, right.  Sure they will.

[maruska]

Father has primary custody :

 A few weeks after her father and stepmother were married they sent her to a regimented "youth academy" in California. She has been for 2 years now and they are very strict - they do not allow anyone outside of her father and stepmother to communicate with her....."


Primary custody does not mean, that the mother has lost custody...