Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Elan School

are there any success stories? (repost from cache)

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Ursus:
Partial repost of material still available from Google's cache from the thread

are there any success stories?[/list]

This is a Copy and Paste. For practical considerations, 5 original posts have been consolidated into 1 repost; for ease in keeping track, posts have been numbered.

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#1 Post by Guest  » Sun Apr 13, 2003 8:03 pm

--- Quote ---the son of a friend of mine graduated elan. there really was no choice it would have been that or jail. when i saw him on home visits i saw a more respectful, calmer individual then he was before.
he seemed happier and at peace. was that angry boy i remember gone for good? i thought that elan was probably this kids salvation. after graduating
elan i was surprised to see that he was enrolled in a university back east. i thought that after such a structured environment that maybe there should be some halfway house or something. i was just worried that going form such a policed enviroment and set free into the real world might be a little overwhelming. he lasted one semester.
during that time, he racked up enormous phone bills, credit card bills etc. he also acquired his taste for drugs once again and failed what classes he bothered to show up for. needless to say he returned home for a very short time before the lies and stealing and disrespect left him homeless. he hasn't held a job since leaving school 2 yrs ago. was he just faking it at elan or was the real world just to tempting for somone that may not have been ready to embrace it. his parents have been through hell not to mention a lot of money to try to get him on the right track. i don't know the answers but i do know that somehow i feel really sorry for the kid. a lot of people would say i'm crazy that he doesn't deserve any sympathy. its true,he's has more chance to straighten out than most but i still wonder what went wrong or didn't go right. i would appreciate any thoughts on this.


the lies were back the stealing etc.
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#2 Post by Guest  » Sun Apr 13, 2003 8:55 pm

--- Quote ---Lots of success stories. It sounds to me like he was a college age student going wild for a bit. That happens to people who didn't go to Elan School also at that age sometimes.
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#3 Post by Guest  » Mon Apr 14, 2003 2:53 pm

--- Quote ---i was only there for 7 months. i signed out. they told me i'd be dead or jail within a year. i left and got my high school diploma through home instruction and now i'm about to finish my first year of college. it doesn't matter whether you graduated from there after three years or signed out after a little while. you either want to change or you don't. i did. i didn't get than expeditor which is only the third position. it helped me because i knew i wanted a better life. i needed to be there for those seven months to give me a break from my life and the things i was doing.
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#4 Post by Guest  » Tue Apr 15, 2003 12:34 am

--- Quote ---i'm glad to hear that things worked out for some of you. i guess you just have to WANT to change. i just can't imagine this young man wanting this nowhere lifestyle he has chosen. he has such resentment towards his parents for sending him to elan. he says they ruined his life. he says he went in a 15 yr old and came out a 15 yr old. he temds to hang out with kids younger then him. the only thing i know is that he blames his mother for EVERYTHING that didn't go right in his life. he is downright abusive towards her. i don't know, do you think there is any hope for him. share your thoughts.
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#5 Post by Guest  » Tue Apr 15, 2003 5:34 pm

--- Quote ---Everyone who went to elan is going to be fucked up forever. That place is nuts and brainwashes you. Then you have to heal, and even after you still dream in Elan, and have flashbacks of the abuse, ELAN FUCKING SUCKS! I FUCKING HATE IT! I WISH EVERYONE FROM ELAN WAS DEAD! I WANT TO RIP CLARE WOODMANS NAPPY HAIR OUT OF HER FUCKING GREASY SCALP AND CHOKE HER WITH IT! MARC ROSENBURG IS A NASTY JUNKIE FUCKER WITH A HORRIBLE EGO PROBLEM AND PETE ROWE FUCKS HIS STUDENTS! YEAH PARENTS SEND YOUR KIDS TO ELAN! ITS A GREAT PLACE!!! AHHHHHHHHH! MURDER DEATH HATE!!!!! AHHHHHH! KILL MARTY KRUGLIC!!!! TANYA SHOULD DIE SHE IS SO HIDEOUS! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
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Ursus:
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#6 Post by Guest  » Tue Apr 29, 2003 3:31 pm

--- Quote ---Hi everyone that reads this. i am sure there are success stories from elan but not everyone must graduate in order to be successful. Those of you that are doing well since graduation should thank yourself not elan. While elan may have enforced policies, it was you who decided whether to change or not. I was there for only 9 months. i signed out becasue i knew i could handle my shit in the real world on my own. Now the staff wont respond to me and they wont let my friends write to me. correct me if i'm wrong but they encourage us to make some of the best and most supportive friends of our lives but if we chose to steer differently than the "Elan path" we lose all contact and support from the people in that school who actually did stand by us and not just call us damaged goods or some shit like that. ANyways i am happy for all the success stories but i think you only have one person to thank for your success....YOURSELF! I would love to hear from you guys that went to school with me that have left or graduated. Feel free to email me and tell me whats going on. HAs anyone heard from Jeanette? Although the laugh was annoying....she was cool peeps and i would love to hear how she's doing. take care email me nfieldsmith@aol.com :silly:
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#7 Post by iAMtheSPELLBREAKER  » Sat Jun 07, 2003 2:25 am

--- Quote ---i am very thankful to have experienced Elan. i only speak 4 myself and dont claim that my experience was the norm.
i'm not sure how much of a success story i am in society's view. it has been around 11 years since Elan and i am just about to finally finish college. but on the other hand, i have traveled throughout the US and some of Mexico, stayed out of jail, been to drum circles in most of our national forests, have witnessed paranormal phenomena at least a few times, lots of protests standing up 4 whats right, loved many beautiful women ...and the list goes on as to the unique experiences i have had. this doesnt fit the plasticene image society has of success, but i feel very lucky.
on a side note concerning the person dissing Marc Rosenburg, i would like to be the one to stand out and say that he had a very positive influence on my life. his cut-through-the-bullshit style i think was the piercing point of my prefabbed reactions i had arranged for every possible experience i could have ever had. Let he with no ego cast the first stone.
i have been to the vista of no-ego, and there are no throwing stones there!
i bow to your freedom to have an alternative view to mine, but demand that others who may read this thread know that yours is not the only view out there of some1 you slander.
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#8 Post by Eliscu2  » Sat Mar 01, 2008 1:44 am

--- Quote ---Well? Has Elan spawned a Manchurian candidate yet?
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#9 Post by Danny Bennison » Thu Dec 03, 2009 7:50 pm

--- Quote ---Yes there are, but how do we determine success. I'll say one thing if I may you can't do it thru the lense of resentment. I'll never be successfull, a victim finds very little happiness, joy or freedom in life. I have to say one more thing too, my life prior to coming to Elan was not going very well my parents were screwed up and they just didn't have the tools to parent me. To long a story for now, my point is we have to take a step back at some instant and look in the mirror and realize we are the problem right now. Because if I can't accept I am the problem where do I find solutions. Meaning if my life has been one of being victimized in my perception I have to fix it. I have a story a friend of mine told me one day; he said his mother told him she realized she put a lot of scars on his heart and that she was profoundly sorry for this and all the experiences he went through because of this. She was talking about the experiences loneliness, not fitting in, not being able to get along, immature for your age,emotionally and mentally inept things she felt she instilled in him. Here was her last experience she left for him; she said son yes I put these scars there and God only knows I would love to remove them but I can't humanly impossible (try it to remove a scar you gave someone you can't), But there is one who can your God, Please ask him to help you to forgive me. There it is forgiveness, sounds mushy, stupid, no f@#$*#@ way we say. Well I was saying that before I got to Elan and after I left Elan. It took me another 11yrs after I graduated 1/77 till 11/88 to clean up, sober up,stop fucking up,smarten up, grow up and find something more powerful than me to help me with my big fat ego before it totally ate me up. People find a spirit larger than you and humble yourself. That's what I do today. Peace of mind you don't know how valuable it is until you lost it. Lets move on find solutions and be humane that's what are fellow Elan family would want from us to be of service. Peace and Love Danny
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#10 Post by Eliscu2  » Fri Dec 04, 2009 3:03 am

--- Quote ---
--- Quote from: "Danny Bennison" ---Yes there are, but how do we determine success. I'll say one thing if I may you can't do it thru the lense of resentment. I'll never be successfull, a victim finds very little happiness, joy or freedom in life. I have to say one more thing too, my life prior to coming to Elan was not going very well my parents were screwed up and they just didn't have the tools to parent me. To long a story for now, my point is we have to take a step back at some instant and look in the mirror and realize we are the problem right now. Because if I can't accept I am the problem where do I find solutions. Meaning if my life has been one of being victimized in my perception I have to fix it. I have a story a friend of mine told me one day; he said his mother told him she realized she put a lot of scars on his heart and that she was profoundly sorry for this and all the experiences he went through because of this. She was talking about the experiences loneliness, not fitting in, not being able to get along, immature for your age,emotionally and mentally inept things she felt she instilled in him. Here was her last experience she left for him; she said son yes I put these scars there and God only knows I would love to remove them but I can't humanly impossible (try it to remove a scar you gave someone you can't), But there is one who can your God, Please ask him to help you to forgive me. There it is forgiveness, sounds mushy, stupid, no f@#$*#@ way we say. Well I was saying that before I got to Elan and after I left Elan. It took me another 11yrs after I graduated 1/77 till 11/88 to clean up, sober up,stop fucking up,smarten up, grow up and find something more powerful than me to help me with my big fat ego before it totally ate me up. People find a spirit larger than you and humble yourself. That's what I do today. Peace of mind you don't know how valuable it is until you lost it. Lets move on find solutions and be humane that's what are fellow Elan family would want from us to be of service. Peace and Love Danny
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Thanks Ken, have some kool-aid on me! :cheers:
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Ursus:
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#11 Post by wimbelton  » Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:53 am

--- Quote ---Anyone who believes that Elan has contributed to their 'success' is either:

(1) A victim of the Stockholm Syndrome- you are experiencing a normal reaction to a long-term hostage situation, this is quite normal for victims of corrupt institutions, especially children. I am sorry that you have yet to understand this fact. You should seek a licensed therapist.

(2) Brainwashed- I am sorry that you are brainwashed, this is quite normal for a recent Elan graduate, it may take between 2-5 years or more to get on with life, I suggest living life to the fullest, making mistakes to learn from, and realizing that NOTHING was ever wrong with you that deserved Elan as a punishment. It is quite common for certain young people to stray away from society's norms. For those of us who needed to get away from certain negative influences, there were completely normal boarding schools for that. Places where you would get a great education while at the same time not being abused.

(3) An idiot- Unfortunately, a lot of ex-students who openly support Elan fall into this category. They are complete losers who look at Elan as a time where they were 'cool' and/or had some kind of sense (illusion) of power. Furthermore, they consider themselves as falling into the category of 'successful' though they are total fuck-ups who have no friends or prospects. They have never really gotten over Elan because they never really moved on with their lives. They held onto the false illusion of power for so long that they lost complete touch with reality, never realizing that Elan turned them into a complete tool.
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#12 Post by Danny Bennison » Sat Dec 05, 2009 11:05 pm

--- Quote ---I would really like to know how old this person is (Wimbelton). Because you have alot of wisdom for someone who used to be a ex addict and/or alcohol abuser, if you were not afflicted with these problems please don't talk for me. I went to Elan for specifically for this malady. Back in 75 most of the residents were older and were drug addicts, alcoholics and criminals. There was no Sharon Terry, School Master ect...... One drug addict helping another or making it up. We didn't have all this drama yet between staff members. There was no real school or whatever and most of the residents were 16 and up to 35 so we didn't have to go to school. The rich kids started coming from Chicago, Detroit and elsewhere and mommy and daaddy wanted to see some school for there $30,000.00. So walaa here is your school that's when Elan started going down when we stopped being what we were a drug treatment program. Marty,Joe,Jeff, Marc, Peter were all ex-junkies some went on to college some allready had college but the bottom line is they fucked up for the money. That is the shame for us. How do I know all this I am a ex- employee also and I knew all those guys personally. I left elan b/cuz the philosphy changed we were no longer helping the addict and Alcoholic. Danny 6/75 till 11/78 Joe & Peter have died. Friends w/ Jeff, Marty and Marc from 75 till present. One addict helping another, they are sick no doubt I do not condone their behavior but I will not stop trying to help them see what they are doing. One Elan resident trying to excerize his right to speak w/o judgement we all have a kinship with each other lets express it please. Love and Peace Danny ( My name is ( Daniel Lee Bennison) not koolaid drinking Ken) Thank you
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#13 Post by Ursus  » Sun Dec 06, 2009 2:30 am

--- Quote ---
--- Quote from: "Danny Bennison" ---I would really like to know how old this person is (Wimbelton). Because you have alot of wisdom for someone who used to be a ex addict and/or alcohol abuser, if you were not afflicted with these problems please don't talk for me. I went to Elan for specifically for this malady. Back in 75 most of the residents were older and were drug addicts, alcoholics and criminals. There was no Sharon Terry, School Master ect...... One drug addict helping another or making it up. We didn't have all this drama yet between staff members. There was no real school or whatever and most of the residents were 16 and up to 35 so we didn't have to go to school. The rich kids started coming from Chicago, Detroit and elsewhere and mommy and daaddy wanted to see some school for there $30,000.00. So walaa here is your school that's when Elan started going down when we stopped being what we were a drug treatment program. Marty,Joe,Jeff, Marc, Peter were all ex-junkies some went on to college some allready had college but the bottom line is they fucked up for the money. That is the shame for us. How do I know all this I am a ex- employee also and I knew all those guys personally. I left elan b/cuz the philosphy changed we were no longer helping the addict and Alcoholic. Danny 6/75 till 11/78 Joe & Peter have died. Friends w/ Jeff, Marty and Marc from 75 till present. One addict helping another, they are sick no doubt I do not condone their behavior but I will not stop trying to help them see what they are doing. One Elan resident trying to excerize his right to speak w/o judgement we all have a kinship with each other lets express it please. Love and Peace Danny ( My name is ( Daniel Lee Bennison) not koolaid drinking Ken) Thank you
--- End quote ---
Interesting piece of history there, Danny. I appreciate your sharing it.

It sounds like you really support the idea of a therapeutic community helping an addict "see the light" for his own good, regardless of whether the "cure" is worse than the disease. It's been my observation, in general, that this evangelical zeal for curing folk sometimes also ropes in "patients" who did not need such drastic measures, sometimes folk who wouldn't even be classified as "patients" by any responsible, professional standards.

Tell me, did you ever hear of an alcoholic by the name of Joe Gauld during your time at Elan?

Some old times at Elan mentioned in THIS thread, in case you're interested...
--- End quote ---
#14 Post by Danny Bennison » Sun Dec 06, 2009 3:37 pm

--- Quote ---Hey Danny again Ursula that site was interesting, the abusive behavior towards residents from staff really became widespread in early 75 and continued. We had a population in 75 - 76 of 350 to 400 with "no per" say professional staff just a bunch of junkies and alcoholics with new found clean time. Trying to act as professionals with a shitload of character flaws that we hadn't yet seen manifest in our lives out in society. There was no after care Joe hated NA and AA always talked negstive about so what did you have to help you, the ignorance was rampant. If you chose to work for Elan after graduation or in my case before for free, you still had no aftercare and were humilated and threaten w/ termination for simple life mistakes. I had a difficult time living in society always had still do at times Elan didn't have a clue as to how to help in that department. No Joe saw the money and got lazy, I sat in those meeting W/ Alan Frey, Louie Ginsberg, Mike Fink, Michele Kelman,Larry Smaller, (young) Marc Rosenberg, (young) Alice Dunn begging Joe, Marty, Peter and Jeff to help with after care, stop taken in residents who did not necessarily have a drug problem, Shit we couldn't deal with what we had never mind someone we could not even relate to. But NO!! the money, houses and fancy cars was to tempting. No shit every fucking addicts dream w/ a huge EGO. Please everyone never ever forget JOE and everyone else was a Junkie First that never really got treated so whatever age they started there drug use in earnest that is probably how old they are emotionally. "My opinon of course here". I am so sad to here the stories I've heard all over on different sites some folks have been hurt deeply and nothing I we say here will change that but PLEASE..PLEASE...PLEASE lets not fight with one another or at least I won't. I.m looking for solutions to help and move folks lives forward. Love Danny
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#15 Post by Danny Bennison » Sun Dec 06, 2009 7:23 pm

--- Quote ---Ursus, I came to this site looking for some insight and you have definitely gave me some I appreciate that. Now if we can move on from the problem for one second and think about this question; "what do we do after we have shut down all the elan's in this country and what do we do we the children". Whether we like it or not children are addicted, our alcoholic and are inclinded to commite crimes. Now we all know Synanon and the birth of its children programs don't work, so what can do and where do we put these children. See I've heard about Elan, I know it doesn't work it never was supposed to, Joe never had/has any integrity or moral compass he wanted to make money and he did. We got that!!!! It is really disgustingly that simple. Marty, Jeff, Sharon and the rest of Elans staff that bought into Joes Marshall Plan really didn't have a genuine sincere aim for their Program. It is not based on a sincere hope to help educate these chilren with the most modern effective methods. There is no R & D department out there scanning to see better opportunities for these kids. If you check into there personal backgrounds you will find broken relationships and many have never had any children. Very...Very difficult to work in the "Child Business" with very little personal experience to guide you. It is a key requirement I would think as part of your overall package. I don't have any "ZEAL" to do anything in regards to treatment programs. One addict helping another is a miracle if you do not know this then you weren't a Alcoholic/Addict of my type and that is ok. I have been clean and sober for 21yrs. That I share for my own reasons but I believe to a certain degree it qualifies me to get a seat at the table also I am qualified because I spent from 6/71 till 1/77 incarcerated in one form or another. In drug treatment programs Daytop 71, Marathon house 73 and Elan 75 in between in and out of Y.C.C. in Cranston R.I. So I understand full well what everyone here is talking about and I am willing to be a student. But I won't just sit around and talk about the problem with no end in site, we also have to talk about the solution. To end here in 1971 I was twelve years old. Thanks Love and Peace Danny
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Ursus:
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#16 Post by Inculcated  » Sun Dec 06, 2009 7:47 pm

--- Quote ---Hi Danny Bennison,
I was startled to see how many of these programs you were in. I’m happy you’ve found a happiness and stability away from your addiction (21 years-nice) and very sincerely sorry that you had to endure so much to get there.

What are the reasons that you were in three of these very similar, but separate programs? In addtion to Elan, I am very curious to know what your recollections of Daytop and Marathon House were like. Which facilities were you in?
--- End quote ---
#17 Post by Danny Bennison » Sun Dec 06, 2009 10:17 pm

--- Quote ---Inculated, This name does not help me to want to open up and explain anything. If you want to give me your full name I will get more intimate with my personal history. It would also help if you could share your own experiences that relates to what I shared earlier if you can't identify with me in life history I would very much appreciate you not asking me questions so direct. Not trying to be snotty just setting the table that's all. My full name is Daniel Lee Bennison email (d.b.lee@comcast.net). Why because I can. Thanks Love and Peace Danny
--- End quote ---
Laughs. Yeah, I’m sure the name would give someone pause.


--- Quote from: "Danny Bennison" ---One Elan resident trying to excerize his right to speak w/o judgement we all have a kinship with each other lets express it please. Love and Peace Danny ( My name is ( Daniel Lee Bennison)
--- End quote ---
I had interpreted this from a previous post of yours coupled with that you mentioned having been in Daytop as an openness to discuss either program. My interest was piqued about your experiences of early Daytop, due to the fact that I had been in Daytop. If you’re not interested in being asked such direct questions you should probably abstain from offering blanket advice to others …


--- Quote from: "Danny Bennison" ---People find a spirit larger than you and humble yourself. That's what I do today. Peace of mind you don't know how valuable it is until you lost it. Lets move on find solutions and be humane that's what are fellow Elan family would want from us to be of service. Peace and Love Danny
--- End quote ---
A statement like that conveys baseless assumptions about the reader before you’ve even finished typing it out . Did you make a lot of similar statements directed at anyone within earshot when you “worked at” Elan? How did that work for you?


--- Quote from: "Danny Bennison" ---It took me another 11yrs after I graduated 1/77 till 11/88 to clean up, sober up
--- End quote ---
Since you’ve said you didn’t get clean until years following your time there, would that mean you were using while working at Elan or otherwise?


--- Quote from: "Danny Bennison" ---Inculated, This name does not help me to want to open up and explain anything. If you want to give me your full name I will get more intimate with my personal history. It would also help if you could share your own experiences that relates to what I shared earlier if you can't identify with me in life history I would very much appreciate you not asking me questions so direct. Not trying to be snotty just setting the table that's all. My full name is Daniel Lee Bennison email (d.b.lee@comcast.net). Why because I can. Thanks Love and Peace Danny
--- End quote ---
No, I will not be giving you my full name. “Why because I can” and the like…I’m not interested in hearing any more of. I can understand very much why you would appreciate not being asked for specifics. Those are a little harder to come up with than slogans and No, I will not be communicating with you off Forum. There’s no need for it.
:seg2: Carry on[/quote]
#19 Post by Danny Bennison » Sun Dec 06, 2009 11:24 pm

--- Quote ---Man you really enjoy yourself , I bet you were just waiting for someone new to show up so you could do exactly what you did. LOL Dude/ Dudess relax your still in charge I concede the high ground, I'm here in a peaceful spirit. This type of verbal boxing doesn't excite me anymore, I don't know what riled you up but obviously you chose not to take advice. Stop being in charge for awhile let your guard down reveal yourself and I'm sure we could have a decent conversation otherwise stay incognito and we can still talk but give up the intensity. No problems here dude I'm just a easy going guy. You pulled bits of my stories like I was in front of a congressional hearing ready to be voted in to something. We are normal folks writing I don't even remember what I ate this morning and don't care. I write from my heart and I didn't believe I was hurting anyone. But that doesn't give anyone the right to give unsolicited critic (maybe w/o the intensity). I love making freinds how about you. Love and Peace Danny P.S. (thought you had me uh!!) LOL
--- End quote ---
#20 Post by Danny Bennison » Sun Dec 06, 2009 11:31 pm

--- Quote ---The statement "why because I can" is a phrase used between my freinds, concerning giving out ones name and email. So many folks don't like to do that. I can, so I do. Man I forgot just how sensitive we addicts are (including me). Danny
--- End quote ---

Ursus:
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#21 Post by Danny Bennison » Sun Dec 06, 2009 11:43 pm

--- Quote ---OH yes, you detective work paid I did get high while working at Elan, smoked 2 jionts but what really happened was I kicked off a career of alcoholism. Man I drank like no tomarrow with no concern for anything. That is what Alcoholics do there selfish. Well that's my story and I'm sticking to it but by the "grace of God". Thanks Buddy
--- End quote ---
#22 Post by Inculcated  » Mon Dec 07, 2009 12:04 am

--- Quote ---
--- Quote from: "Danny Bennison" ---(thought you had me uh!!)
--- End quote ---
Not interested in having you, nor any parry and thrust with you. My brief interest in any possibility of you actually having insights into the early days of Marathon House, Daytop or Elan to share has waned. In eight short posts I’ve seen enough of your judgements and jargon to know there’s not much more that I would find substantive.
… peace and doves and what have you.
--- End quote ---
#23 Post by Ursus  » Mon Dec 07, 2009 12:09 am

--- Quote ---
--- Quote from: "Danny Bennison" ---...I spent from 6/71 till 1/77 incarcerated in one form or another. In drug treatment programs Daytop 71, Marathon house 73 and Elan 75 in between in and out of Y.C.C. in Cranston R.I. So I understand full well what everyone here is talking about and I am willing to be a student. But I won't just sit around and talk about the problem with no end in site, we also have to talk about the solution. To end here in 1971 I was twelve years old.
--- End quote ---
That's some pretty heavy "dues" there, Danny. The thought occurs to me that all that time spent at the mercy of being "fixed" by proselytizing do-gooders, let alone at the tender age that ya got pulled into that mess, might very result in creating an "addiction" to, or need for, being in that kind of structured environment. I mean... what else did you know? Do you think that might have had something to do with why you ended up having a drinking problem while you were on staff at Elan?

Forgive me if I've misread something in your just previous posts. I'm just catching up on today's material.
--- End quote ---
#24 Post by Danny Bennison » Mon Dec 07, 2009 12:16 am

--- Quote ---Hey if treating people like you do works for you great, I would really like to meet your alter Ego probably a nice person but I'm sure he can't be revealed b/cuz "inculate" likes to dominate with his anger. I hope you find peace maybe the next time you ask such questions you'll give a formal intro first it is only polite. Thanks for our brief encounter Danny
--- End quote ---
#25 Post by Danny Bennison » Mon Dec 07, 2009 12:36 am

--- Quote ---Ursula, Thanks for commenting I was dickering with someone who calls themselves "inculate". Well now w/o going into a long story yes I'm sure that had some to do w/ it . The other part is the addictive side of my personality whether I was incarcerated or not I had this. I remember in even younger years my obsessive/ compulsive behavior. Alcohole was just waiting for me. Now for my years of treatment centers I will tell you in a sort of sick twisted parable ironic way they kept me alive long enough long enough to learn why a conscious was important. Man my sense of indifference towards folks and society was bordering on weird.
--- End quote ---

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