Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Aspen Education Group

The Only Instance of Abuse "Admittance" by Staff of MBA

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enola:

--- Quote ---Your original post was primarily about the abuse you experienced. And John Reuben naturally didn't want to discuss that, so he changed the subject as usual. But I wanted to discuss it, specifically the Adoption Blame part. I too was adopted and was told the same thing. That it was all my fault. That my mother was a whore, that she didn't want me, that I was to blame for something that happened seconds after my birth. Just a few years ago I tracked her down. My "whore" mom is still married to my father. I have five other siblings. They are great people, very wholesome and caring and I am now a part of their loving family again. And when I began to think about this back in 2002, it helped me realize how indifferent the staff were to the abuse they heaped on us. That telling a child his or her birth mother is a whore is wrong, but they were incapable of seeing this as abuse. They really and truly thought that was going to do me some good. They thought anything they said should be tacked on to the Ten Commandments. They truly believed that all they said or did was truly holy and blessed. And the reason is because they were not licensed, had no training to be counseling anyone, and from that Alex Bitz letter, it is just reinforced some more that they are clueless to the abuse they have caused and would continue to cause if they were given another chance. Alex sounded like he got hit by the reality train.
--- End quote ---

I will pm you later, as I would love to hear more about your reunion.  I think it's wonderful, and probably very healing for you.  

I have to disagree, though, with the statement that they were incapable of seeing this as abuse.  3 months before I arrived at MBA, I was in the middle of searching for my birth mother, and found out she died when she was 24 (she had me at 15).  The staff knew this.  They also knew that at my young age, I was already deeply self-loathing and clinically depressed.  After doing some research, I found this article:
http://http://www.adoptionissues.org/needs-adopted-teens.html

It felt like a punch in the stomach.  I also reached out to Alex, Sharon, Bill, and others after  left MBA, having a very hard time adjusting.  My calls went unanswered, there were no responses to my letters, nothing.  It was like I had vanished from their memory.  I had a very traumatic event happen a year after I left, and, for some reason, I felt the need for comfort from Alex or anyone from MBA.  I still received no reply.  Nothing.  A couples years later, there was a small reunion in my area , of which I attended.  I pulled Alex to the side and asked if he received any of my letters.  He responded, "which one?"  I told him the one specifically about the [traumatic event].  His response was a very cold, "yes.", then he walked away.  However, in front of the others, he was all smiles and hugs toward me.

Because every form of communication with him previously went unanswered, I wrote an 'open letter' to Alex, and Sharon, in response to his comment to me on the public board.  It does not go into as much detail as my 'abuse' letter did, but I think my point was came across pretty clearly.  I posted this on the MBA Alumni boards, as well as emailing it to both of them, directly.  Needless to say, I received no response from either one.  
My therapist told me the lack of communication on their part is an avoidance of admitting guilt, that they knew, in whatever capacity they could, that they really "messed up" with me, and that I have "ammunition", and to talk to me would, in part, be an admittance of their guilt.  They have been in touch with many others in my "dark ages" era, and I did not understand why.  It made me question myself, for years.  However, my therapist and others have told me that they knew what they were doing, and that it was wrong.  How could an adult, even with no common sense, not know that calling a 12 year old virgin a whore as well as calling her deceased birth mother one, screaming at all of us, shaming us to the breaking point, force us to say and do incredibly degrading things, and all of the crap that they pulled, was not wrong, and was only out of 'good intent'.  I can't, and don't see that, and I don't think I will ever be convinced otherwise.  These people had major issues of their own, and they vomited those issues all over the kids.  My therapist, who has an excellent reputation and has been a licensed psychologist as well as a child welfare advocate for over 37 years, told me this, "Plain and simple, those people are Sociopaths".  Some may not agree.  I do.  Here is the response letter to Alex:

Mr. Bitz,
cc: Sharon Bitz

"I am so very sorry you have to deal with the prospect of coming down from your cushy, “fluffy cloud”, and enter the “real world”. I understand the thought is very frightening, almost as frightening as having you and the other staff in my face, telling-no, screaming at-me that I was “a whore, a slut, a liar, a spoiled brat, useless, manipulative…etc.” and that I was “so worthless that not only [my] birth parents didn’t want me, but the parents that adopted [me] didn’t want me either”. A whore? At 12 years old, still a virgin? C’mon. I’m sorry, this may be graphic, but I thought that a “blow job” was actually blowing, as in blowing out a candle, on a guy’s penis. The one incidence of getting “out of agreement” with a boy, 4 years my senior, and did not involve any form of penetration. I know of many who participated in more severe forms of being “out of agreement”, yet did not deem it necessary to confess. Yet I was the manipulative whore, at 12?  Please.
Speaking of adoption, it seems that you all changed your tune. All of a sudden, there is this collaboration with the Kinship Center to give extra care to those who are adopted. “Adoptive children wonder why they were placed for adoption in the first place and can struggle with feeling worthy and good-enough, especially during the teenage years when it's natural for them to assert themselves as unique individuals," says Bitz. "We can help them work through their feelings of loss […]. So, let me get this straight: you deemed it appropriate, even “therapeutic” to call me worthless, time and time again, using my adoption as “proof” (in fact, that was my cloak in the Castle, WORTHLESS). Then, all of a sudden, Sharon preaches about the issues of self worth plaguing adoptees, and MBA’s special care and attention to adoptees. “According to Bitz and others, the teenage years present daunting developmental obstacles for children of adoption and their families.” Hmmm.
I came to MBA a scared, depressed, self loathing 12 year old girl, one who would look in the mirror and tell herself how worthless and ugly she was. One who attempted suicide 3 times before arriving there. Whether they were calls for help or attention or not, at 10-12 years old I hated myself so much that I wanted to die. That is a problem. But in your eyes, it was all a ploy to get attention, or maybe a pair of new shoes or something. That I was “playing poor me”, being a “victim”. You gave me too much credit, sir. At 10 years old, I did not have the capacity, nor the intention of anything other than escaping the pain I was in. I suppose that was too simple for you. You seemed to want more soap opera-like drama. Yet, I couldn’t give that to you, and that seemed to make you and your staff even more angry, even more vicious, even more abusive. Yes, I said abusive. The State of Oregon agrees, along with top professionals at Stanford University, Davis University, Lucille Packard Children’s Hospital, of whom I have personally spoken with, among many, many others, all of whom agree that the MBA curriculum and staff engaged in “atrociously” abusive behavior.
It’s almost sad to see your “project” your anger towards me and others, and not practice the “tools” that MBA has been preaching for 20 years. The snide sarcasm oozing out of your comment to me on the board is unmistakable, and honestly, a bit childish. Yes, “Sarcasm and Cynicism is the result of broken dreams”. I understand, your dream is broken. I’m also reminded of my favorite, “The Liar’s Punishment is not the he/she is not believed, but that he/she cannot believe anyone else.” Read the articles:  ‘Unsurprisingly, [Sharon] Bitz attacked the validity of the report.’ “We know that some current students have made a conscious decision to lie about our school, hoping that it will be closed as a result, and that they would then be sent back home," Bitz told TIME. "We would never ask a student to give a lap dance," Bitz told the paper. Oh really? C’mon now. "All methods of therapy are done in a supportive atmosphere with trained professionals and the intent to raise self-awareness and self-worth," said Bitz. Then what’s with the constant reinforcement of telling young kids that they are worthless? What is happening here is, among other things, called Justice. For those who are more spiritually inclined, it’s called Karma. Whether it is because you truly believe you are being falsely accused, stripped of your dignity, or because deep, deep down you know that you went a bit overboard, yet your punishment does not fit the crime, you are going through a very similar process that some of us, the students, went through at MBA. It’s a bit like you have no voice, isn’t it? Like you are screaming inside and no one is listening, right? Like the “powers that be” don’t understand you, won’t listen to you, and are convinced you are something that you are not, right? I know that feeling very well, as do many others that went to MBA.
I am glad that some students had positive, life changing experiences at your school. For those of whom credit MBA with saving their lives, I tip my hat to them. My experience, however, was soul-killing, nightmare-producing, self-esteem-stripping, and, to put it in layman’s terms, utterly horrible. I made great friends. I am really good at finding relevant quotes in any given situation. I went to London. I…well…hmmm…I think that’s about it for the “good” part of it. Oh, I liked the hiking and cross-country skiing as well.
Again, I am sorry that you are fearful of joining the rest of the unemployment-line-standing real world. I’m guessing, however, that you have some nice money to sit on from the near $80,000 tuition per student, per year. Or at least ASSPEN-oh, sorry, that’s 1 ‘S’-is giving you a nice pension for your troubles. Yes, I believe sarcasm and cynicism, when used appropriately, helps to ease the pain of those broken dreams; for me, at least, many of them being broken by MBA. And I think sarcasm is just funny (think Steve Carrell, John Stewart, Stephen Colbert).
Here’s some quotes you might want to consider. If you would like to look up more, brainyquote.com and thinkexist.com are great quote sites.
“Child abuse casts a shadow the length of a lifetime.”~Herbert Ward
“What is evil? Killing is evil, lying is evil, slandering is evil, abuse is evil, gossip is evil: envy is evil, hatred is evil, to cling to false doctrine is evil; all these things are evil.”~Buddha
“Anyone entrusted with power will abuse it if not also animated with the love of truth and virtue, no matter whether he be a prince, or one of the people.”~Jean de La Fontaine
“When predominant selfishness and conceit there is no attachment to self or anything else.”~Aesop
“Be impeccable with your word”~Don Miguel Ruiz (The 4 Agreements author)
“Little prigs and three-quarter madmen may have the conceit that the laws of nature are constantly broken for their sakes”~Friedrich Nietzsche

Gosh, reading this over again, I realize that this was just the tip of the ice berg. So yes, I am sitting here, rejoicing with many others.
Good luck, sir. I hope that your re-entry into the “real world” goes a bit more smoothly than mine did."


I may post the first letter, the 'Abuse Part 1' letter later, as I become more comfortable with this site.  It is comforting and cathartic to have people here that actually understand and can relate to what I went through.

RMA Survivor:
I'm not even sure what I meant by incapable because it is so hard to read other people's minds and know their true intentions.

I guess if I had to describe what I meant, it would have to incorporate several factors.  

These were quacks.  They had no training to be doing any of this stuff.  The ones who were part of the system way back when, who founded these schools all came out of existing programs like CEDU and Rocky Mountain Academy.  They considered people like Mel Wasserman and all the later School Directors to be gods, and they took what they said as gospel.  So you could argue, they were not too bright to begin with, many if not most of them had criminal backgrounds, drug and alcohol issues and were probably easily manipulated.  And as they started working the program from their end, as staff, they had to go in to it figuring it was good stuff.  Sure, many might have done it initially for the paycheck, but you have to consider many of them probably weren't too knowledgeable about any of it enough to question what they were doing.  We are talking about people with little to no education, college or even High School.  These were not members of Mensa or Harvard graduates possessed of great intellects.  They were hired through what I believe was a very simple process that looked for people who would go along with things without much questioning.  It has been shown that they sent out special questionnaires asking specifically about their position on corporal punishments and so on.  Their answers were then used to gauge them.  I think to gauge them on whether they would be able to look the other way when they saw what their instincts might tell them was abuse.  Think of police officers.  Many officers today are fully complicit in brutalizing citizens, using tasers in an inappropriate manner and then covering it up afterward, each officer providing cover for the others.  And I have known quite a few police officers and they made it quite clear that there is a weeding-out process whereby the police don't want holier-than-thou types who are going to mess with the system they enjoy. It's not that people don't try and become good cops, but that once in, their ability to do good is hampered by those who prefer a different system, one without accountability, one that reinforces their feeling of power.    Are there good cops?  Sure.  Were there good staff members?  Yes.  Everyone agrees that each program had staff that were "better" than others.  But did those staff who were better, speak out?  No.  And you have to ask why?  I think it is because their moral compass was already not functioning too well before they got hired and after being hired the program itself screwed with it even more.  Much as we were screwed with.  There was so much psychobable going on, and I think it was designed to keep us in line as much as to keep them in line.  It was about control and getting people to buy in.  And I think staff bought in.  

So my argument here, is that yes, some certainly had to know it was abuse and recognized it as such, though they stayed quiet and didn't rock the boat or lose the paycheck.  But I also think there are those who are more prone to being bullies, enjoy power, like to exercise it over others and in such a situation, that kind of setting, seeing that there is no accountability, can go way overboard.  Which I think is what happened.  Did they know what they were doing was abuse?  Maybe.  But I think some of them, likely the ones who were "Power Staff" really believed like Alex and Sharon seem to, that everything they did was right.  And from my experience at Rocky Mountain Academy back in the mid 80's, this was the culture they created for themselves.  One where they had their own Gods or Guru's, people they looked up to and then wanted to emulate and become.  They fed off each others latest psychobable notions of how to fix kids.  They came up with one catch phrase after another to hurl at teens.  Basically it was made up as they went along, gradually becoming more and more abusive I think as they refined it, almost working in competition to outdo each other and come up with the killer themes for Raps or Propheets/Life Steps.  They wanted to be Top Dog.  Not all of them wanted it, but many of them sought the power.  The environment they created, based on the strange ideas of Mel Wasserman, the Synanon, LifeSpring and EST cultures and their own limited imaginations was one that reinforced action over accountability.  And eventually I think they just saw everything they did as right and proper and good, that they could not commit any wrongdoing because all they did was righteous.  So maybe in the beginning, they might have been able to see abuse and be capable of questioning it, but eventually I feel they no longer could.  

And then think of the context.  These were people telling themselves they were saving kids.  They fashioned themselves as heroes.  And in doing so, put themselves on a pedestal and patted each other on the backs for the good they believed they were dishing out.  And beliefs are a hard thing to discard once you've held them long enough.  So Alex may eventually come around to seeing that he was abusing people for years now that he has been told by the State of Oregon that this was the case.  I don't think he could ever accept it coming from a former student, because he probably can't accept right now that his power is gone.  He held so much power and authority over you and others that he is in denial about the actions he took.  And Sharon suggesting that a few bad kids just wanted to lie to get it all shut down so they could go home and do more drugs and party is the same thing.  These people were so deep in to a self-reinforcing atmosphere that rewarded them for basically creating greater levels of abuse, coming up with radical, yet totally unfounded methods for dealing with troubled teens.  This was what they were used to.  They became the guru's with all the answers.  Creating it all themselves, just as God created the universe, the Alex's and Sharon's felt they were Gods creating something amazing and powerful and helpful and that's how they saw themselves.  I don't think they were capable of seeing themselves in any other way.  They truly thought they could do no wrong and that is why they can't accept that they did do wrong.  The State of Oregon clearly hasn't convinced them.  Or... It is possible they don't want to admit anything because the allegations of abuse could be followed by lawsuits?

And can you imagine what it would feel like to suddenly realize you did abuse hundreds or even thousands of teens?  To realize you were a monster?  That kids who later committed suicide may have done so because of things you did to them?  What would a normal person, capable of self-reflection do upon realizing this?  

By the way, before and after Rocky Mountain Academy I worked in a Direct Care Home for Autistic Children.  After a few months I saw a fellow staff member physically abuse a child.  Actual injury.  I called the police and filed a report and lost my job the next day.  Of course the child was incapable of speech, so the officers investigating could not understand how to conduct an interview to determine if injury or assault had taken place.  But whereas such homes and staff are required by Federal Law to report any suspected abuse, and I did so, reporting it doesn't always work and getting fired is often quite likely.  And I don't think it would have been any different at any of these programs, most of which are not covered by Federal Laws and certainly little state oversight.  

Also, I would be happy to share my reunion story with you.  It was pretty damn cool.  And the first time in my life I ever experienced unconditional love.

Whooter:

--- Quote from: "enola" ---Perhaps, had there been a licensed psychologist actively participating in the program, that individual would have more knowledge of the laws, and therefore prevented some of the abuse from happening. Do you think it was an oversight or accident that the licensed party never attended lifesteps or groups?
--- End quote ---
I agree with this, thanks for the information.  I believe this was part of my question .....was how much professional (licensed) oversight is needed?  We certainly couldn’t expect there to be 10 Therapists covering each group break out.  But if the therapists that they did have were given more authority and access to the day to day operations then many of these abuses would be avoided.  As far as staying up all night, shovelling snow etc. I don’t see this as abusive as long as it is not excessive.  Better oversight would keep these reasonable.  The yelling and screaming should be handled by letting go the staff who participate and/or encourage this type of behavior.



...

Troll Control:

--- Quote from: "Guest" ---
I wouldn't put too much weight on anything Whooter says.  He lies a lot and has a financial stake in programs.  

Specifically, he uses Juvenile Justice funds to put kids convicted of crimes who were in jail into Aspen programs where they can mingle freely with your children while receiving no therapy and have nobody watching them, like the kid from MBA who raped a little girl there due to the lack of supervision and mixing convicted criminals with more or less normal kids.

He has no education or background in psychology and has absolutely no clue what he's talking about.  he just tries to spin things to look "less bad" by providing false analogies, false testimony (posting as dozens of personas) and false "facts and figures" that were generated by marketing teams instead of clinicians. He's a phony and should not be listened to for any advice or opinion.
--- End quote ---

Ursus:

--- Quote from: "Whooter" ---The yelling and screaming should be handled by letting go the staff who participate and/or encourage this type of behavior.
--- End quote ---
Well, then... I gather you would be referring to the school founders and chief execs, eh? And Oregon done did that, by "letting them go," that is. So to speak.   :D

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