I first saw the movie at a friend's apartment, but wound up buying it for private viewing. I identify with the character of the boy next door who was sent away for "reprograming" by the military father so he could "get with the program." My father was much the same way, though he was not physically abusive, he would shut off his attention and praise like a faucet whenever it suited him. I was in my own little world much like the character was in the movie. While I did not have a videocam, I did have a polaroid Handle and I excelled at taking strange pictures with it. I would get on my 10 speed on a Saturday morning while the rest of the family slept and pedal the 11.7 miles to St. Pete Beach where I would spend most of the day cruising up and down the island from one end to the other running into high school friends and taking in the sights. My stepmother was a cold and self centered spoiled bitch like the Annette Benning character who placed her natural sons way ahead of me on her list of priorities, yet could not fathom why we were drifting so far apart or why I introduced her to people as "Carole" instead of calling her mom. My stepbrother even broke into my fathers bedroom and took a .32 caliber pistol which he placed under his mattress. For this cute little "phase" he was going through, he was placed on a 5 week long refresher. If it had been me, I no doubt would have had to find a new home under an overpass. The unfairness and favoritism got to the point where I moved out when I was still 18, and had my room mates not proved to be so damn unreliable, it would have made for a lasting break away from the family. I was forced by necessity to move back home. Back to hell, and when it proved to much and the bipolar disorder took over, my family was gracious enough to let me live in my car. If they only knew in the years to come, just how many times I stopped in front of the house in the middle of the night, drunk out of my mind and staring at the house while thumbing the sparkwheel of a cigarette lighter, they would no doubt wake up screaming at least once a week to this day. I gave up everything to be a part of this American Beauty and walked away empty handed.