Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Straight, Inc. and Derivatives

32 Years Ago I sat on Front Row

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Anonymous:

--- Quote from: "Woof-a-Doof" ---She informed me about my grandfathers death.After, the initial shock and the finality of it hit me, Liz informed me that i would nnot be tending the funeral, as I was a "Security Risk"....
--- End quote ---

I think some people take a great personal pleasure and satisfaction out of these kind of cruelties.  What a bitch!
Did you ever forgive your parents?  Did they ever acknowledge how fucked up this?  So as parents we bring children to life in order to do this kind of crap to them?  Then wonder why our kid is so angry! :flame:

Sam Kinison:
I have to forgive because as 85DJ so profoundly said paraphrased "Hating your parents is like selling your car to go around on a bicycle and wearing  a sandwich boards saying you're mad at Mom and Dad"Sorry for not remembering the exact context,Bob
You have to go back in time three decades.The concept was this horseshit called "Tough Love'.Child Abuse would have been too honest.
Common sense told our parents that this was cruel and unusual.But common sense was ignored because they were saving our lives,as the story goes.
Would you ignore conventional wisdom if it meant saving your kids from a certain doom?They were being brain-washed,too.I forgive my mother because I don't think she could,at 73 years,face up entirely to the massive mistake she and so many other parents made at that time.The damage I took I will have to deal with alone.Straight is a subject we don't breach as we definitely don't see eye-to-eye.If you truly buy into your child was on a suicidal path,they can pretty much have their way with you at that point.Woof's paternal anger,I believe,was not his parents' buying into Straight at the time but them not admitting they made a mistake later.They never will.It's a sore that,believe it or not,they can't open.

Woof-a-Doof:

--- Quote from: "Guest" ---
--- Quote from: "Woof-a-Doof" ---She informed me about my grandfathers death.After, the initial shock and the finality of it hit me, Liz informed me that i would nnot be tending the funeral, as I was a "Security Risk"....
--- End quote ---

I think some people take a great personal pleasure and satisfaction out of these kind of cruelties.  What a bitch!
Did you ever forgive your parents?  Did they ever acknowledge how fucked up this?  So as parents we bring children to life in order to do this kind of crap to them?  Then wonder why our kid is so angry! :flame:
--- End quote ---

@guest---I agree, "some people take a great personal pleasure and satisfaction out of these kind of cruelties". Were Laura Morgan and Liz Casidy a Bitch?...Eh, perhaps not them two specifically. Laura Morgan was, as Sam indicated, seperate entity almost from the true chain of command. She was a highly refined social persona, whose child/children went thru the Seed, if memory serves (to be honest, I dont really know how she came into the picture).

For example, when the building was built on Gandy Blvd., or what most people call the St. Pete Building. The building was built essentually on swamp land. Prior to building the building, I recall there needed to be 40-50 truck loads of dirt, after the swamp was drained. My father was already a volunter in the accounting department. He once told me that upon hearing the need for said truck loads of dirt, Laura Morgan made one phone call and the following moring 25-30 dump trucks were lined up along the road the led up to that building (frontage road). Laura Morgan was a socialite, married to Charlie Morgan, who I also met. Charlie Morgan owned Morgan Yacht. Morgan Yacht at the time made world class yachts, needless to say, Charlie Morgan made a massive fortune. And with $$$ comes power and circles of Power. Laura herself was far removed from what went on in the group. I honestly think she believed she was involved with a good "thing" and in her mind it was an "altruistic involvement.

As far as Liz Cassidy, she was  staff trainee or just barely on Junior Staff. in refereence to my grandfather, I think she and Laura Morgan were chosen to tell me. Essentually pawns doing as told, and relaying the message I would not be attending my grand fathers funeral. My anger was not at my parents....they simply told "staff", I am not angry at Laura Morgan nor Liz Cassidy, the simply delivered "staff's" decsion. I am pissed how ever at "staff" in general, because I do not know who specifically said NO, I could not go.

My mother has passed, my father is 87. As Sam mentioned, I avoid the topic of Straight Inc. with my father as I did my mother--who routinely asked me if I was angry for being put in Straight Inc, I knew some how, mother & son understanding I guess, that she felt tremendious guilt. My father, might have regrets, but out of sheer stubornness, pig headed-ness wont ever conceed. Because the nut never fails far from the tree...I wont back down either. But I can not carry on my concious to give him the full extent of my anger/rage/wrath for fear that it would further estrange us, or quite simply, it could kill him. Two wrongs will never make it right. As much anger I feel at times directed at him, personally, I have to have or develope a sence of compassion for him, because my experience has been that without compassion for him....I HATE. I can not live like that any more. I can not afford day in and day out anger/rage towards a blood relative, even with what happened.

Compassion and forgiveness are words of taboo on this forum, and it is not difficult to understand why. I am not near as compassionate as I hope to be, nor do I have the amount of forgiveness I have hoped to have cultivated. I was a source of malcontent tween my mother and father in those early years, I was literally driving a wedge between them (nearing divorce) and I know he hated me for it....but I was a fucking child doing childish things. Does one save a child, or save a marriage? This is the dilemma I believe my father saw no way out of and thanks to the St. Pete Times, who was writting extensively about Straight Inc, decsided to have me locked up.....not for drugs...but for a "bad attitude".

Like Sam was writting about, Straight Inc, back in the early day was suppossed to be an altruistic endeavor, my father paid $800 for my entire incarceration of 2+ years....it was a low overhead operation...free rent of the buildings, donated food (bolognia and Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwhichs (frozen) we called swimmers) and milk with an abundance of Ice, no trained councelors (so low pay) and not one liscensed individual on the property...No doctor, no nutrionist, no teachers....simply a no frills lock up for children with a propensity for physical coercion and mental brutality....mind you, this was all in the name of LOVE for a child, for the sake of saving a child. A good idea, but the methodology was fucked up.

I see my father now, almost a shell of himself since my mother passed a while back, they were married for 57 years, he has lost his best friend, love of his life! He has two sons within 10 miles of him. Neither my brother or myself see him more than 2-3 times a year and a rare phone call. Yet ultimately, it is an extremly sad situation. In my heart of hearts, I wish things could/would be different. There is a Russian proverd (could be another proverb I dunno, its fucking early) that states; "Only an Ass turns away from family". Unfortunately, to date, both my father and myself are that Ass


People can say what they want, parents can justify thier actions however they wish....but 30 years later and family is ripped to shreds, anger is a constant undercurrent within the family, trust has yet to be re-established. I survived. Can the same be said for my mother and father. One question that comes to my mind if and when he discusses Straight Inc...So, how did that work out for you dad, in the long run...how that work out for you? I survived as I said, and I thrive today 30 years later, but I ask how does it feel knowing for 25 years minimum I despised my parents for locking me up...Hows it feel pops knowing you were hated for 25 years. As I try to heal there are hurdles to jump, the issues with the old man are primary. I can only hope it is resolved before he passes, for his sake and my  own sanity.

I wish
Much Healing
Much Peace
woof

seamus:
I think the single thing that I still to this day resent the most is the rift(more like a chazm) the fucking straight program put in my family.
      I wasnt allowed to live at home until 4th fucking phase,and I agreed to go back to school.Now understand my family always was fucked up,my mom was a fucking headcase,and a vindictive,abusive,manipulative control freak.She would browbeat my father into shit constantly simply because he was illiterate,(he actually WAS the better parent) this is 50% of how I wound up in the morgan yacht monkeyfarm.
 Shit my fucking brother(Who was a sherrifs deputy at the time) was not allowed contact with me,I was not allowed to go home for thanksgiving,because my 6,7 and 10 y/o cousins were not "checked out" and my brother was there also. I geuss he started some shit with the program after that and told somebody (good ol' peterman if memory serves ) that they were a cult just like the moonies.This seemed to threaten my moms little power trip and just abigger rift was made , ironically between people not even in the program. My mom died a few years back, I just recently got offa that guilt trip.But things were never right between any of us again. Me and my brother got all pissed up drunk one time and he said he should have "jacked me the fuck outta there".Me and him are cool always were. To say that STRAIGHT didnt help my family is a ginormous understatement.

Anonymous:

--- Quote from: "Woof-a-Doof" ---My mother has passed, my father is 87. As Sam mentioned, I avoid the topic of Straight Inc. with my father as I did my mother--who routinely asked me if I was angry for being put in Straight Inc, I knew some how, mother & son understanding I guess, that she felt tremendious guilt. My father, might have regrets, but out of sheer stubornness, pig headed-ness wont ever conceed. Because the nut never fails far from the tree...I wont back down either. But I can not carry on my concious to give him the full extent of my anger/rage/wrath for fear that it would further estrange us, or quite simply, it could kill him. Two wrongs will never make it right. As much anger I feel at times directed at him, personally, I have to have or develope a sence of compassion for him, because my experience has been that without compassion for him....I HATE. I can not live like that any more. I can not afford day in and day out anger/rage towards a blood relative, even with what happened.
--- End quote ---

I am prfoundly sorry for what  you went through.  It sounds like your mom had some understanding and a lot of regret before she died.  Its too bad we can't age-regress parents and make them go through these "programs" as a teenager so they can experience what they are considering subjecting their kids to.  No one in their right mind would think that it is superior to being at home.   You are so wise to choose not to hate, not to live like that because it is so damaging.

[
--- Quote from: "seamus" ---Compassion and forgiveness are words of taboo on this forum,
--- End quote ---

I'm not so sure that is true; if it is it should not be.  Compassion and forgiveness are essential ingredients in healing.  I disagree with all the forgiveness gurus.  Yes it is important to let go of hatred, as you have found out but letting go and forgiving are different.   in order for forgiveness to have any meaning at all a person has to first acknowledge they have done something to be forgiven for (show true remorse), demonstrate that they want it, i.e. ask for it, value it and behave accordingly in the future.  Without this your forgiveness has no value at all: he is going to resent that you think he needs to be forgiven and  you will feel phoney)  If a person does acknowledge the deed (take responsibility), show true remorse (meaning a deep understanding of the damage done) and intensely desire to be forgiven and you withhold it then your lack of forgiveness is likewise meaningless.  I don't think your father will ever get there even though on a deeper level there may be a voice giving him a very hard time about it. I think he thinks if he backed down his whole life would be meaningless. This is what the Greeks would call his "tragic flaw".  Even though he has not earned and therefore does not deserve or value your forgiveness you can continue to show compassion and understanding toward him; this is healthy for you and when he is gone you will know  you did all you could.  I really believe that in this world there are some things that are truly not forgivable; each person has to make up their own mind and by doing so find out who they really are.  But never feel guilty about being unable or unwilling to forgive if the ground work has not been laid for it.  The main thing though is for you to have compassion and forgiveness for yourself for: harboring so much hatred (albeit truly justified), (being made to feel like you were) interfering with your parent's marraige (if there were problems because of your behavior then it was how they responded, not what you did, that caused any rift),  whatever it was you did that made them think you would be better off elsewhere (your "bad attitude")  and whatever they dumped on you in the program.

--- Quote from: "Woof-a-Doof" ---As I try to heal there are hurdles to jump, the issues with the old man are primary.
--- End quote ---

Its quite a job but bravo to you for having being willing to do it.  And thank goodness you have your brother!   I wish you well in your journey.

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