Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Straight, Inc. and Derivatives
32 Years Ago I sat on Front Row
Antigen:
--- Quote from: "seamus" ---It often strikes me a odd, how we percieve time. Sometimes it nearly seems to stand still, other times str8 seems a liftime ago,sometime it seems like I never left at all. All I can think of is the dull empty feeling of sitting in group, day after fucking day, listening to some jackass blather on endlessly about some foolishness or another.And allthe bullshit about "feelings" feel this, felt that> maybe it was meant to accentuate our misery,some kind of twisted fucked up shit that "Gift" of awareness is.....ah yes to be oh so aware of my pain.....thank you so much.
And the fucked up way the term DESERVE, got bandied about ......how I didnt deserve a family or to be loved or whatever the bullshit du-jour was.
I cannot possibly calculate the amount of dope Ive put into myself post str8, nor the drink. I have literally had loaded gun to my head at times just from the fucking memory of it all. I do not for one second believe I will ever have peace,and Id have to be fucking downright delusional to think any measure of justice will ever come my way. It just never goes away. I cant believe in anything, I only see lies. I can only love what is sure to break my heart. This life fucking sucks. I tried to sit in church till the whole " Faith, hope and love thing came up" I left nearly beside myself because I am bankrupt on all three counts.
Sometimes life is like falling down a hill made of razorblades.Fuck me.
--- End quote ---
Hey, I love you, Seamey. And I'm sure I'm not the only one. Hang tough, please.
:hug: :-*
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[*] Previous page
Go to full version