Everyone,
It has come to my attention that you Earthlings have organized a planetary religion completely centering around my murder here so long ago. More like a lynching, it was! I spent three torturous days and nights digging myself out! Just in time to escape those sadistic cavemen, if the old Greek records were correct!! If I had been discovered up and about after the Crucifiction they might have really finished Me off. Those retards had the unmitigated gall to nail Me up like some common criminal and then pray to these "paintings" that made Me look like I was enjoying it. They kept saying that I forgave them, that I LOVED them!!!
Oh, the anticipation! I'm sick with glee! I'll show you backwater, genetic accidents the true face of Pain, Sin and Redemption!!! I have hired my own Holy Ghost-writers to revise this "Bible" you stupid Earthlings have written more to my own thoughts and I am going to make sure it is the only edition available!!!
Now I will pay you back for the holes Istill carry in my hands!!! The mere THOUGHT of the old scars makes them glow RED, through my wrists and right through the boxing gloves!!!
The battle command of the spacecraft is staffed by veteran Angels of Light, on personal loan from JVHV-1, my Father. They supervise the officer Daemon units that were the fleets' literal conjurors of destruction within the tangible energy spectrum. To focus these unworldly reactions and project them to the proper targets is the job of the four thousand odd Seraphim. For mopping up and commando raiding, the Dark Bodies and AESON have been hired. Thousands of these emotionless, combat-proven mercenaries wait in the troop holds of each destroyer. All at time-and-a-half. It is expensive to ravage a planet, even an insignificant one like Earth....
SINcerely,
J.C. "The Fightin' Jesus"
