My son at Aspen Ranch

[Troll Control]

My advice to you is to be prepared to admit this was a mistake regardless of your son's actions which led you to send him away. Flashbacks and nightmares can persist for years. What it feels like to be locked away from the world is difficult to talk about with someone who has not been there. Regain his trust by taking him seriously because what happened there still troubles him.

And excellent advice that be, thomasC.

[NIGEL]

"it was like a prison"

  That's a pretty typical reaction for basically normal kids whose parents have them incarcerated at kiddie jails for being a teenager.  

We obviously have a different definition for "basically normal kids" and "just being a teenager."  If you call death threats to his parents, suicide threats to himself, drug use, failing school, running away, and stealing as just being a normal teenager, then that is where we differ.  My son needed something more than a "normal teenager" needs.  Whether Aspen Ranch was a good choice---that is open to debate.

[Troll Control]

I would say stealing, failing school, running away, hating the parents are all within the spectrum of "more or less normal" depending on the severity.  Threatening to kill oneself should be taken seriously, but taking an allegedly suicidal kid and placing him somewhere where he's largely unsupervised and completely untreated with a bunch of other "troubled" kids is a bad mistake.

Anyway, Aspen Ranch is well known to be an abusive, prison-like detention facility using the "level system" so no matter what was "wrong" with your kid, sending him to Aspen Ranch could not possibly have helped.  He's going to resent you for it for a loooong time.  Don't be surprised that as soon as he doesn't need you anymore for hot meals and roof over his head that he just cuts you off forever.  If you can't trust you own dad, there's not much of a relationship to be had there.

[DannyB II]

I would say stealing, failing school, running away, hating the parents are all within the spectrum of "more or less normal" depending on the severity.  Threatening to kill oneself should be taken seriously, but taking an allegedly suicidal kid and placing him somewhere where he's largely unsupervised and completely untreated with a bunch of other "troubled" kids is a bad mistake.

Anyway, Aspen Ranch is well known to be an abusive, prison-like detention facility using the "level system" so no matter what was "wrong" with your kid, sending him to Aspen Ranch could not possibly have helped.  He's going to resent you for it for a loooong time.  Don't be surprised that as soon as he doesn't need you anymore for hot meals and roof over his head that he just cuts you off forever.  If you can't trust you own dad, there's not much of a relationship to be had there.

DJ, why are you acting like this. This is the crap that makes you look irresponsible. You are not a parent of a teenager at risk, stop acting like you have all the answers. Damn it, man.

[Troll Control]

Danny, I hope you're not trying to make the fallacious argument that anyone who has not physically done or experienced something themselves cannot know about it.  You know that's ridiculous.  

In a world like you describe there couln't possibly be any innovation at all - nobody could invent anything new.  That's silly.  It's like me saying to you "You never designed a computer, so you can't be using one to connect to the internet."  Is that really what you think?  If so, how could anyone who works at a program, but never raised a "troubled teen," be able to "help" any "troubled teens"?  It's a rather simplistic analysis, don't you think?

When I was in private practice I saw literally dozens of kids who went to programs and had serious psychological issues (anxiety, depression, PTSD) from being abused at a program.  Almost down to a one they would say they couldn't discuss any of it with their parents because their trust was destroyed.  Many never spoke to their parents again.  I think I have some good insight into this phenomenon and you ought not to be so judgmental of others' experiences or put forth some very weak argument like the one above.

[Pile of shit]

Danny, I hope you're not trying to make the fallacious argument that anyone who has not physically done or experienced something themselves cannot know about it.  You know that's ridiculous.  

In a world like you describe there couln't possibly be any innovation at all - nobody could invent anything new.  That's silly.  It's like me saying to you "You never designed a computer, so you can't be using one to connect to the internet."  Is that really what you think?  If so, how could anyone who works at a program, but never raised a "troubled teen," be able to "help" any "troubled teens"?  It's a rather simplistic analysis, don't you think?

When I was in private practice I saw literally dozens of kids who went to programs and had serious psychological issues (anxiety, depression, PTSD) from being abused at a program.  Almost down to a one they would say they couldn't discuss any of it with their parents because their trust was destroyed.  Many never spoke to their parents again.  I think I have some good insight into this phenomenon and you ought not to be so judgmental of others' experiences or put forth some very weak argument like the one above.

 :jawdrop:

[wild thing]

I am curious, Nigel, I assume you had psychological and academic testing done on your son, either prior to or during his stay at Aspen Ranch.  Was the individual who perfromed the testing, if it was a done, a psychologist and what instruments did they use?  What did his scores look like?  Was there a discrepancy between his verbal and performance scores?  Your description of his inability to carry out academic goals might be answered by appropriate testing.  If testing was done prior to Aspen, it might bode well to have him retested.  Frequently, depression can negatively surpress scores and a change in his scores would and could identify that.

[NIGEL]

I am curious, Nigel, I assume you had psychological and academic testing done on your son, either prior to or during his stay at Aspen Ranch.  Was the individual who perfromed the testing, if it was a done, a psychologist and what instruments did they use?  What did his scores look like?  Was there a discrepancy between his verbal and performance scores?  Your description of his inability to carry out academic goals might be answered by appropriate testing.  If testing was done prior to Aspen, it might bode well to have him retested.  Frequently, depression can negatively surpress scores and a change in his scores would and could identify that.

Without going into detail, yes my son has been tested by two different psychologists (prior to going to Aspen Ranch).  He is currently seeing both a psychiatrist and a psychologist (by his choice).  We are supporting him every way we can.  He is 18 now, so he is making the decisions and I try not to give advice unless asked for it.  On a positive note, my son just told me he wants to go with me when I travel to see my Mom (we will be gone for a week).

[Troll Control]

How exactly did Aspen Ranch say they were going to treat your son's presenting problems?  Did they explain to you that they use a program ruled to be child abuse by regulators?  Or did they soft-sell you some kind of touchy-feely bullshit?

[NIGEL]

How exactly did Aspen Ranch say they were going to treat your son's presenting problems?  Did they explain to you that they use a program ruled to be child abuse by regulators?  Or did they soft-sell you some kind of touchy-feely bullshit?

As I have stated before, I am not here to advocate for Aspen Ranch.  I only came to this forum to seek advice for my son and our family.  

In my opinion (and my son's), his psychologist at Aspen Ranch was very good and also very caring.  I can also tell you that some of the unlicensed counselors at Aspen Ranch were some of my son's favorites.  They spent time talking to him and encouraging him.  There were also some staff that obviously weren't well suited to deal with boys like my son.  My son felt like some of the staff were just there to pick up a paycheck and that they could care less about what they were doing.  I think the same could be said about every school and workplace in the world.

If you asked me today if we would make the same decision to send our son to Aspen Ranch, I'm not sure.  It is impossible to say what would have happened if we hadn't.  We made the decision and now we are moving on.

[Troll Control]

his psychologist at Aspen Ranch

Aspen programs do not provide psychological services, nor do they employ psychologists, as they stated in court.

[Pile of shit]

his psychologist at Aspen Ranch

Aspen programs do not provide psychological services, nor do they employ psychologists, as they stated in court.

Nigel Dsfunction Junction is trying to make you feel guilty for sending your child to a program.  DJ has tried to do this several times with Whooter but failed.  Niles stay strong.

[Anne Bonney]

his psychologist at Aspen Ranch

Aspen programs do not provide psychological services, nor do they employ psychologists, as they stated in court.

Nigel Dsfunction Junction is trying to make you feel guilty for sending your child to a program.  DJ has tried to do this several times with Whooter but failed.  Niles stay strong.

Are you disputing what DJ said?  That Aspen programs do not provide psych services, nor employ psychologists?  Or are you just throwing out another ad hominem cuz you got nothing?

[Pile of shit]

Are you disputing what DJ said? That Aspen programs do not provide psych services, nor employ psychologists? Or are you just throwing out another ad hominem cuz you got nothing?

Anne did you mean to write cuz or because?    :moon:

 :jawdrop:

[Anne Bonney]

Are you disputing what DJ said? That Aspen programs do not provide psych services, nor employ psychologists? Or are you just throwing out another ad hominem cuz you got nothing?

Anne did you mean to write cuz or because?    :moon:

 :jawdrop:

Still got nuthin'...huh?  That's ok....we're used to it from you by now.