Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Aspen Education Group

My son at Aspen Ranch

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Anonymous:
No child deserves to be abused before they are murdered, and all seem to be abused from what I am reading, and then they lose their life, murdered. I pray all come out of the wood works and let the world know what kind of sick bastards are ruining their children s lives. No child should die in those places. Not a one.

NIGEL:
Hi again,

As I'm sure you know, I am not an expert on this subect, but since I started the topic, I thought I would let you know how my son is doing.  Last report from his therapist (yesterday) is that he is doing even better with both his academics and his relationships(my son agrees with this assessment).  When I talked with him, he wanted to make sure I knew that he was putting forth his best effort.  When he was at home, he basically had given up on everything, including the hobbies (guitar and art) that he loved.  My faults as a parent were that I would always get on him for all that he did wrong, and I didn't find the time to tell him that I was proud of him and that I loved him.  I am doing my best to make sure he knows that I see him working on things and that I am very proud of him.

I would say that I am somewhat happy with The Aspen Ranch right now, but I promise that I am keeping my eyes and ears open.  My son is very open with me and I know he will tell me if there is any abuse going on.  He hasn't complained so much about the adults, but has about the kids.  The school itself is a little too rigid and structured for my tastes, but that is probably what most of these kids need.  I write him every night (he writes me about once a week), and I call him every week.  My next visit is in early October.  I will keep reporting on my thoughts if people are interested.

psy:
Do you know if Aspen Ranch uses Aspen's LifeSteps?

TheWho:

--- Quote from: "NIGEL" ---Hi again,

As I'm sure you know, I am not an expert on this subect, but since I started the topic, I thought I would let you know how my son is doing.  Last report from his therapist (yesterday) is that he is doing even better with both his academics and his relationships(my son agrees with this assessment).  When I talked with him, he wanted to make sure I knew that he was putting forth his best effort.  When he was at home, he basically had given up on everything, including the hobbies (guitar and art) that he loved.  My faults as a parent were that I would always get on him for all that he did wrong, and I didn't find the time to tell him that I was proud of him and that I loved him.  I am doing my best to make sure he knows that I see him working on things and that I am very proud of him.

I would say that I am somewhat happy with The Aspen Ranch right now, but I promise that I am keeping my eyes and ears open.  My son is very open with me and I know he will tell me if there is any abuse going on.  He hasn't complained so much about the adults, but has about the kids.  The school itself is a little too rigid and structured for my tastes, but that is probably what most of these kids need.  I write him every night (he writes me about once a week), and I call him every week.  My next visit is in early October.  I will keep reporting on my thoughts if people are interested.
--- End quote ---

Thank you Nigel,  your reports back can help other parents who are in the research phase and trying to decide if placement is a good idea for their son/daughter.
 
The structure of the program is what makes it successful.  The kids eventually feel very safe knowing what to expect each day and the ever-present  consistency.  They stop wasting time trying to test the rules and instead start focusing on their studies and themselves.  It can be a long process so be patient.
Don’t beat yourself up too much looking back on how you interacted with your son before he was placed.  I went thru the same thing when my daughter went.  It’s a good opportunity to step back and look at what worked and what didn’t so that you can make the proper changes for when your son comes home.  He is making changes in his life so changes should be made at home also.  He will appreciate you speaking openly to him and sharing how you feel.

I look forward to you updates.

NIGEL:
I have not heard my son describe anything that sounds like "lifesteps" and the parent brochure they gave us didn't mention it.  I have asked my son what they do in their group therapy sessions (he also has individual sessions) and he said that they mainly talk (and argue) about something that the team either did that day or wants to do.  The team (a group of 12 kids) have activities (ropes course, chores, hikes, problem solving, taking care of the horses) and then they go and debrief.  One thing they had my son do (he will argue and debate anyone on anytopic) was he had to carry a piece of paper around with him and whenever he started to argue, another student could ask for the paper and write their name on it.  At the end of the week, my son turned it in and talked about his thoughts on whether he learned anything from the exercise.  My son actually said that he thought it helped him realize that he was arguing too much, and mostly about trivial items.  He has reported back to me that he is doing his best to recognize how he is perceived and is arguing less.  He went on to say that he will never stop debating (I smiled when he said this), but that he is learning how to control himself.

So, while both my son and I are seeing progress, he still desperately wants to come home (I'm sure most, if not all the kids would rather be at home).  I am doing my best to evaluate both my son and the program, and making sure that when I do bring him home, he has the best chance to stay home and not be so self-destructive.

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