Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > CALO - Change Academy at Lake of the Ozarks

Therapeutic touch: What is the safe zone at CALO?

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Anonymous:
http://caloteens.com/milieu.aspx

Therapeutic Touch

Therapeutic touch is often initiated by the placement of a staff member’s hand on a student’s “safe zone” during a conversation. This “safe zone” consists of the student’s body from one elbow, across their upper back, and down to the other elbow. The “safe zone” region was established as the areas on the body that are least likely to elicit a sexual response, transmit a sexual message or be intrusive or traumatizing to the student in any way.

The staff members at CALO utilize therapeutic touch during processing and coaching moments. Philosophically, we believe that students need appropriate touch in their lives. They may reject this touch initially but almost always become accustomed to, and usually desire, this form of connection which furthers the attachment and healing in students.

Inculcated:
Hmmm,That reminds me of something...
x Respect a child’s “no”. Do not force a child to hug or shake hands
SEX OFFENDER BEHAVIORS
Not all sex offenders share all of the following characteristics, and the absence of a particular
characteristic does not mean the individual is not a sex offender (English 1996).
Secrecy and dishonesty is a major component of sex offending behavior. Sex crimes flourish
in deception and silence.
Sex offenders typically have developed complicated and persistent psychological and social
systems constructed to assist them in denying and minimizing the harm they inflict on
others, and often they are very accomplished at presenting others a façade designed to
conceal the truth about themselves (English 1996).
x Cognitive distortions allow the sex offender to justify, rationalize, and minimize the
impact of their deviant behavior
x Power play-“It is my way or the highway.” “I will dominate and control others.”
x Entitlement- “The world owes me.” “I am superior.”
x Hop Over-“I do not answer questions when I know the answer is unpleasant.”
x Blaming- “I blame others so I can avoid responsibility for my actions.”
x Minimizing- “I only fondled the child.” “It wasn’t intrinsically harmful.”
x Secretiveness-“I use secrecy to control others and continue being deviant.”
x Sex offenders are highly manipulative and will triangulate/split those around them.
The skills used to manipulate victims are employed to manipulate family members,
friends, co-workers, supervision officers, treatment providers, and case managers.
x Grooming activities are not solely for potential victims. Offenders will groom
parents to obtain access to their children.
x Grooming is well-organized and can be long term.
x The longer a sex offender knows an individual the better they are at “zeroing in”
their grooming (“I can read people like a book. I know what others need and I am
available to help out”.)
x The longer a sex offender is on supervision the higher the probability staff will lose
their objectivity.
x Sex offenders are generally personable and seek to “befriend” those around them
(“My smile is my entrée”. “I ‘m like a salesman but I’m never off work”.)
x Sex offenders will continually test boundaries (personal/professional space).
x Sex offenders exploit relationships and social norms to test boundaries.
x Sex offenders seek professions that allow them access to victims.
. Cognitive distortions are :
thoughts and attitudes that allow offenders to justify, rationalize, and minimize the
impact of their deviant behavior. Cognitive distortions allow the adult sex offenders
 to overcome prohibitions and progress from fantasy to behavior.
These distorted thoughts provide the adult sex offenders with an excuse to engage in deviant
sexual behavior, and serve to reduce guilt and responsibility.
Dr. Matthew Ferrara in “Lifestyle Enhancement and Development (2000)” describes deviant
sexual behavior as behavior that meets one or more of the subsequent criteria:
Sexual contact with a person under the legal age of consent (17 years old); sexual
contact with a person who is unable to give consent; sexual contact that is forced,

aggressive, causes physical harm, is coerced, uses intimidation or deceit,
or sexual contact that is harmful or degrading.
________________________________________
RISK REDUCTION TIPS FOR PARENTS
x Think safety first.
x Be informed and know your local resources.
x Be active in your community. Get to know your neighbors.
x Never assume your child could not be molested, missing, or abducted.
x Build your child’s self-esteem. A child who has low self-esteem is more easily lured.
x Teach and practice decision making with your child.
x Build support systems. Children need to know where to go for help.
x Carefully interview, screen, and check caregivers.
x Teach age appropriate information regarding physical and sexual abuse.
x Use age appropriate role-playing with children. Play “what if” games.
x Develop a family code for emergency situations.
x Respect a child’s “no”. Do not force a child to hug or shake hands.
x Never leave young children unattended.
x Establish ground rules for your child when answering the telephone.
x Teach and have emergency contact numbers easily accessible.
x Teach your child to screen telephone calls through the answering machine or caller
ID.
x Monitor all computer use. Use parental controls.
________________________________________
Council on Sex Offender Treatment
1100 West 49th street
Austin, Texas 78756-3183
Phone: (512) 834-4530 Fax: (512) 834-4511
Email: http://www.tdh.state.tx.us/hcqs/plc/csot.htm
REFERENCES:
Andrews, D., Bonta, J., & Hoge, R.D. (1990) “Classification for effective rehabilitation:
Rediscovering psychology”. Criminal Justice and Behavior, 17, 19-52
Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers (2003) Practice Standards and Guidelines
for the Members of the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers
Bonta, J., (1997-2001), “Offender Rehabilitation: From research to practice”, Ministry of the
Solicitor General of Canada

Anonymous:
Grooming activities are not solely for potential victims. Offenders will groom
parents to obtain access to their children.

Inculcated:
Boundaries and Child's Personal Safety
Respecting children’s personal boundaries teaches them how they should expect to be treated. When adults cross children’s boundaries, it compromises their sense of safety and security.  
Examples of crossing physical boundaries:
•   Insisting children hug or kiss others
•   Holding or hugging when the child resists
•   Continuing to touch a child when they don’t want you to
•   Hitting a child
Understanding the Risks:
Child sexual offenders often try to break personal boundaries, gain trust and normalize sexual activity between adults and children.
Children with an understanding of personal boundaries are more likely to disrupt the grooming process, thereby reducing their risk of sexual exploitation.
Physical boundaries:
Physical boundaries determine who may touch you, how much
they may touch you, and where they may touch you.

How do child molesters gain access to children?
They often seek positions where they would be entrusted
with the care of children.
They find jobs that give them access to children in other
ways.
How do child molesters get away with molesting children?
They look like everyone else.
They gain the trust of parents.
They gain the trust of children.


Teach children what to do if someone tries to violate
their boundaries.
1. They can tell the person to stop!
2. They can get away from the person.
3. They can tell their parents.
4. They can tell another adult who can protect them.

Teach — our children they can talk to us about
anything.
Strong communication is the foundation for helping children
stay safe. Ensure healthy communication with your children: Maintain open lines of communication

Copyright 2006 Praesidium | http://www.PraesidiumInc
http://www.kidsintheknow.ca/app/en/boundaries_sheet_p6

AuntieEm2:
Great post about boundaries, etc., Inculcated.

While children need info on how to protect themselves and how to report, we adults should take greater responsibility for protecting children before they are harmed. Most importantly, adults must take responsibility for their own behavior. See also http://http://www.stopitnow.org for more information.

SELF ASSESSMENT
Twelve Questions Only You Can Answer
If you are wondering about your own sexual thoughts and behaviors toward children, we encourage you to answer these questions honestly. They are designed to help you decide whether you may need help.  

Answer YES or NO to the Following Questions

1.Have you ever felt a sexual attraction to children or underage teenagers (a boy or girl 17 years old or younger)?
2.Have you kept secrets from others about your attractions to children or underage teens?
3.Have you looked at or purchased pornography that showed children or underage teens?
4.Have you ever secretly watched children or underage teens (window peeping or voyeurism) or exposed yourself (exhibitionism) to children or underage teens?
5.Have you bought children or underage teens gifts, or given them money, in order to get them to trust you and like you so you can touch them sexually, or get sexual good feelings from them?
6.Have you shown pornography (or material that is sexual in nature) to children or underage teens, or intentionally left it where they could find it?
7.Have you ever told yourself "age is just a number" or "he/she is mature for his/her age" or something similar to make yourself feel better about your sexual thoughts or behaviors toward children or underage teens?
8.Have you ever wanted to stop fantasizing about or touching children or underage teens in a sexual way, or looking at child pornography, but did it again?
9.Do you find that romantic/sexual fantasies about, or sexual behavior toward, children or underage teens interfere with your relationships at home or work?
10.Does your sexual attraction to children or underage teens conflict with your spiritual beliefs or moral values?
11.Has your sexual attraction to children ever left you feeling worried, frightened, ashamed, hopeless, different, alienated from others, or suicidal?
12.Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you were not sexually attracted to children or underage teens?

Did you answer YES to more than one question? If so, we encourage you to call Stop It Now!'s SAFE AND CONFIDENTIAL 1.888.PREVENT (1-888-773-8368) Helpline for more information. Our Helpline is available Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. CST. People who understand are waiting to help. Or visit http://www.stopitnow.org.

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