Author Topic: Tell Fornits what kind of "christian" you are thread.  (Read 1385 times)

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Offline Father Muldoon

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Tell Fornits what kind of "christian" you are thread.
« on: May 22, 2009, 08:25:41 PM »
I have had enough of these so called "christians"so I would like to give the people who view themselves as christians to be open and honest as to exactly what kind of "christian" they are.

So I am curious,what kind of "christian" are you supposedly?

Are you a so called "TRUE CHRISTIAN",whatever that is?

Are you a big time phony "christian"?

Maybe you are one of those "christians" like my old foster mother who used to feed me rice and stinkin beans almost all the time even though she was paid to feed me things I actually liked.

Maybe you are one of those "christians" who takes off their belt and whips their kids into oblivion every time they do something you deem to be "ungodly."

So with all of the possibilities and the ones I mentioned being only just a few possibilities,you might understand that when I see the word "christian",it brings out the curiousity side in me.
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Offline try another castle

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« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2009, 12:52:35 AM »
sister christian

I'm motoring...
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: Tell Fornits what kind of "christian" you are thread.
« Reply #2 on: May 23, 2009, 12:32:09 PM »
Christians should not smoke pot.   ::fullofshit::
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: Tell Fornits what kind of "christian" you are thread.
« Reply #3 on: May 23, 2009, 12:59:47 PM »
I'm the kind of Christian the worships Satan, sodomizes the Virgin Mary (who is now referred to as "the formerly Virgin Mary"), smokes angel dust with the Pope, jacks off in vats of communion wine, rolls blunts with pages from the Book of Revelation, and uses a Rosary as an aid in sex acts that involve at least twelve disciples, a sacrificial lamb, and a whore decked out in gold body paint who reeks of frankencense and myrrh.
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Offline Froderik

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Re: Tell Fornits what kind of "christian" you are thread.
« Reply #4 on: May 23, 2009, 01:14:55 PM »
I'm as stoned as an old testament hooker in a synagogue full of rabbis....
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Offline hanzomon4

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Re: Tell Fornits what kind of "christian" you are thread.
« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2009, 05:44:03 PM »
The kind who never gets invited back for sunday service...

I like fucking
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Offline hurrikayne

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Re: Tell Fornits what kind of "christian" you are thread.
« Reply #6 on: May 26, 2009, 10:05:56 PM »
Actually, I thought this thread might produce a little more serious consideration than it has.  Possibly because I've been around "Christians" of all types for most of my life.

When I was around 6 my mother became a Christian.  She dragged me to every kind of church imaginable, looking for the "right" one.  She felt the Pentacostal crowd was as close as she was going to get to what she wanted, but not before she'd dragged me into Baptist, Methodist, Catholic, and even a church out of a guy's home.  

I've seen all kinds of Christians, believe me.  There are, of course the Christians that only darken the doors of the church for weddings, funerals and the Christmas and Easter services (my grandfather was one of those).  Many are "Sunday Christians"; the only way you'd recognize them as Christian at all, is that they show up to church on Sundays.  There are some really nice Christians, my grandmother was a Methodist, I cannot think of a single bad thing my grandmother ever did (aside from swatting my butt once, but it certainly wasn't abusive and likely was merited).  There are the "Look At Me" Christians; they wander around with their Bibles, mention their church activity a lot and don't really do much else...like work, even AT work.  There are also the "If You Don't Believe What I Believe You Are Going To Hell" Christians; pretty self-explanatory, many of them are Baptists.  There are the "Bible Thumpers" as well, always handy with a scripture reference for EVERY occurrance in life; these are the sort that are very concerned about everone elses souls being in peril for the slightest of deviations from the strictest laws handed down in the Bible, my parents qualify for this one.

The question of course, was "What kind of Christian are you?"  I'm more of a every other week attendee, I don't believe I have to sit in every service held.  I try not to be judgemental of other people, but sometimes I fail.  I try to be a good person and always do the right thing, again, sometimes I fail.  I am human, after all.  When I fail, I ask God for forgiveness and try to move on.
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Offline Oz girl

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Re: Tell Fornits what kind of "christian" you are thread.
« Reply #7 on: May 27, 2009, 08:40:59 AM »
This is a curious question. I somehow dont think it was designed to start a serious theological discussion but anyway.......
I guess I would say I am an agnostic but probably a cultural catholic. The whole mythology of most religions seems to me far fetched and fairy taleish.
But then I go to the various religious milestones in relatives kids lives, weddings & funerals in churches and the occasional Christmas service. I never fail to be intoxicated by the sight and smell of an old Cathedral at Christmas. I guess old habits die hard.
What i dont get is it's relevance, I mean what do I care what anyone does with their weekend or eats and drinks in the name of God? On either side everyone is so angry and dirisive about it these days. I have read The God Delusion and God is not great and found those guys to be as obnoxious and self righteous as any capital B bible bashing door knocker. I dont know any more if it is religion that is the true evil or human intolerance. I know it is usually a pretty offensive and simple minded person that gravitates toward a fundamentalist position whether that be islam, christianity or the new movement of pop culture athiests.
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n case you\'re worried about what\'s going to become of the younger generation, it\'s going to grow up and start worrying about the younger generation.-Roger Allen

Offline Oscar

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Re: Tell Fornits what kind of "christian" you are thread.
« Reply #8 on: May 27, 2009, 08:53:32 AM »
I am an inactive member of the Danish state church.

As a part of our customs I was confirmed age 14 and drank alcohol from then. I don't use drug, I don't drink much anymore because I don't like loosing control. I am a career person and accept casulties as part of our business operations (traffic accidents, illness, suicides etc.). I attend church for family matter but never else. I don't liste to music, I don't sing and I don't dance unless it is related to a church ceremony as most Danes in the part of Denmark where I live (Haslev).

Some up in Copenhagen parties a lot more in their life but I guess that I am as most people outside the larger cities.
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Offline Froderik

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god and stuff
« Reply #9 on: May 27, 2009, 10:43:31 AM »
Is "God" really a plasmate that houses itself in the pineal gland?

Are "God" and "Satan" really just two conceptual parts of the universal whole?
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: Tell Fornits what kind of "christian" you are thread.
« Reply #10 on: May 27, 2009, 03:23:12 PM »
I am a TRUE CHRISTIAN, goddamn it!  Anyone who doesn't show true devotion to my personal lord and savior J. Christ is a fucking backstop for my Holy bullets.  You do it for Jesus or you die.  Amen.

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: Tell Fornits what kind of "christian" you are thread.
« Reply #11 on: May 27, 2009, 04:32:46 PM »
I'm the kind of christian who believes that jesus was high as a motherFucker.

http://www.cannabisculture.com/backissu ... hbosm.html

and therefore i behave likewise.  :rasta:
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: Tell Fornits what kind of "christian" you are thread.
« Reply #12 on: May 27, 2009, 06:30:13 PM »
Who knows... you might be a Christian, and not even know it. This quiz is interesting... and it only works if you're honest.

http://www.beliefnet.com/Entertainment/ ... Matic.aspx
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: Tell Fornits what kind of "christian" you are thread.
« Reply #13 on: May 27, 2009, 07:50:27 PM »
The Big Gay Kind.

Love that Big Sexy Jesus.
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: Tell Fornits what kind of "christian" you are thread.
« Reply #14 on: May 28, 2009, 05:23:32 PM »
Bah.  It's time to quit wasting our time on dead, self-proclaimed pseudo-godlings.  What has a couple thousand years of Christianity produced but death?  

There will be no Rapture and Jesus ain't coming back, if he was ever here at all.  One day, we'll all awaken and shake free of the "Word of God".
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