Femanon, You are wrong taking sides like that and posting an email without asking. Did you even read her email? Did you block out the part Katie played in all of this? How can you possibly stand on the sidelines and condem people? You dont have any experience with parenting at all. People who dont have kids and critisize those who do always end up eating crow (always not sometimes). You dont know what you are taking on with having Katie come and stay with you and assume you can do a better parenting job then her parents can.
It seems you are just very angry and can only see what you want to see. Calm down and read the email again. Katie isnt the only victim in all of this.
At least you admit she IS a victim.
I hear this refrain commonly from program parents....that none of us are parents and none of us could possibly understand what it's like raising a teenager. You have no idea how wrong you are. Most of us who were victimized by this industry ARE parents now. I am. If you're a regular (if you are then I apologize for repeating this same story..I know y'all must get sick of it), then you know that I have two grown kids and the older one scared the living hell out of me for about 6 or 7 years and STILL does from time to time. She's a true redhead with the temper, drama and energy to match. I've been through the rage, the throwing things, destroying her younger sister's bedroom, the drugs, the sexually acting out (incidentally, I have her permission to speak about her difficulties here), staying out or gone for days. I get it. I understand how frightening this can be. Her grandparents (the same people who put myself and her father in Straight)
insisted [/i] that she was "out of control" and going to be "deadinsaneorinjail" if I didn't place her in a program. That's the ONE valuable thing I did take away from Straight. I knew exactly what
NOT to do when parenting my own children. I told the grandparents it would be over my dead body and I meant it. Thank god. Whatever we've gone through due to her behavior is minor compared to the damage that would have been done to her if I had shipped her off to strangers to "fix" whatever was wrong. Now, I can't give you or anyone else "the" answer. There isn't one...or not one specific answer. It's different for everyone and every family.
I have read the entire blog. I've read Katie's side too. It doesn't sound like Katie was any worse than my daughter, in fact...from what I've read Katie isn't nearly as 'out of control' as mine. It sounds, to me, like Katie is one of those kids who goes against the norm and the Stepmonster (I have one of those too....program parent married my dad) couldn't take it. Kids come in all shapes, sizes, personalities, temperaments etc. etc. Trying to pigeonhole them into what our standards are just kills that independent spirit. And putting someone like that, who additionally has some emotional or mental issues to deal with is just sick. What would have happened if someone like Van Gogh would've lived in this time and had parents like Katie's? Jesus christ people!!! Not all kids are gonna grow up to be accountants or doctors or lawyers. Instead of condemning their differences, you should be celebrating and encouraging them. That would be the most effective way to help her to succeed. Help her develop that spirit......don't try and punish it out of her dammit! All you end up with when you do that is a resentful, emotionally crippled child that you are now expecting to behave like a normal, well adjusted adult...and YOUR version of an adult at that. Parents really, REALLY seem to have a hard time when they discover that their children actually do have a mind and thoughts and idea(l)s of their own. It can be scary, but it's our JOB to suck it up and deal with it. Most kids are NOT going to die, end up insane or in jail. They WILL fall down...the WILL have scars from their adolescent years, no one gets out unscathed, BUT......damage done by ourselves to ourselves is by FAR easier to repair and deal with than the damage done inside those places, behind closed doors, where you're surrounded by people convinced that they need to "break you down", then "build you up".....ya know, for your own good.
I really hope Katie is able to get far, far away from this stepmonster. Once she's been out amongst the real people of the world she'll see that not everyone views it in such black and white terms. She's realize that there are TONS of people like her. They're called artists. Some of them starve, some make a very good living.
Oh, and Femanon......you ROCK!!!! :tup: To those condemning her for not being a parent, I AM a parent and agree with everything she wrote. I would have loved to have had someone like her to talk with my own hellion when we were going thru our really rough times.
