oh, my god, i am so sorry it hasd een so long you guys. well for those of you who do know me, you know i have been extremely busy, with graduating from high school! Yep. i am officialy a high school graduate fee and clear of the primary education system, lol. Anyways back to the story. I will probablybe writing again soon, i am getting a lap to for graduation so it will be a lot easier to write with access to internet whenever i want lol.
so, i saw cross creek. I remember sitting in the van, then when i got out, two men escorted me onto the premesis. I remember seeing the key cards, and asking them, "We are LOCKED in?" Thye seemed to laugh at my so called "joke". It was about 1 o clock in the after noon by the time we arrived at CCM. I was taken through the courtyard to one of the intake rooms, an boy... i felt like a freak show. I was being stared at, and pointed at, and talked about. I was the new kid on campus, and the only thing i could think of in my head was "Oh, great. I'm the fresh meat. here comes torture." Suprisingly, i was calm, and collected, however scared I was. Intake... dear god..
I was seated in the room with staff as i filed out paper work. I remember thinking to myself, "I am dreaming." or "This is surreal" I felt like the very paper was mocking me. "Why are you here?" was one of the questions. I was tempted to write, "I dunno, why the hell dont you tel me?" But, i could even finish the PACKET they gave me, because the girls walked in. 4 high phase girls, were there t answer my questions, but mostly they asked me questions. I answered them, but i dont even remember them now. I do remember listening to them talk about the program, the trips they took, the activites, such as line dancing, and choir and basketball, hikes, and kitchen work...
I just listened. One of the girls was my hope buddy, and she talked the most out of them all. I immediately like her, and when they "had to leave" she hugged me. It had been a long time so as akward as it was i just sat there.
I was told that i needed to take a shower. I thought i would get some privacy and cool off, wash off the reminders of the day... Nope.
I was told to take off my clothes, and I was given a towel. Ok. it is extremely hard to take off your clothes, while trying to cover yourself up. anyway.
I wasnt allowed to do it without supervision, instead i had to be watched to make sure i wasnt hiding anything.The woman watching me, was SCARY. She reminded me of a viking woman. she was very tall, and very large, with an expression devoid of anything...I felt like i was in a bad movie... there was alos a really nice woman, skinny, and kind. I was told to kick them my clothes, but to keep my bra and underwear.I was then told to get into the shower. I was relieved. i thought that they would stop watching me, but yet again i was worng. They told me tosquat with the door open and cough. I guess they were making sure i wasnt hiding drugs in my butt.Then they had to "inventory my scars."I was told to sit on the toilet.
They had a nurse come in, and mark down every single scar,and mark on my body, then proceeded to ask me how old each one was, and god, i wanted to scream at them. I had fresh cuts on my arms and legs. So they loked at those, and asked it i had cleaned them. i lied, (thinking they would pour alcohol on me) saying i had. After the nurse left, they said i could get dressed.
"In what?"The skinny woman, handed me an orange shirt, and navy blue pants and said, "Here hunny." I finished getting on my underwear and bra and shirt. The first pair of pants didnt fit. Neither did the second. Or the third. The skinny woman did something i will never forget. She loooked at me (At this point i was in tears and I was nervous as hell, because they were talking about not having my size.) And said,"Dont worry about a thing darlin. I'll just go get you something." This comlplete stranger left, went to the store, and bought me brand new sweat pants and pajama pants, until the program could order my size.
I then had to get my hair wet, so they could "nix me". With that finished i was told that my "intake was over and i could go meet my group, and spend time with my hope buddy. I hadnt eaten yet so i sat in the middle of a hallway and they brought me something to eat; while my hope buddy sat next to me, chattering away...and even though my head was down i knew every eye in the entire hallway was fixated on me.