Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Troubled Teen Industry
Lets get back to WWASPS
Anonymous:
Carey - how did your husband hear about this program in the first place? It seems like many of these parents are referred by someone they know (e.g. Ryan F. whose parents were supposedly referred by someone from their church). Others appear to hear about these programs from the courts, parent support groups and program-referral-services like this one which is operated by a parent who once had a child in a WWASPS program.
Teen Help Southeast (Florida)
http://www.youthplacement.com
Deborah:
Anon,
You addressed the question to Carey, but I'll also share my situation.
The idea was suggested to my ex by the family therapist. He had made a bad choice for our older son 4 years prior, sending him to a marine military academy. Won't go into the details of that horrid experience, but our lawsuit is settling now.
Anyway, he wanted to make a "better" choice, and thought he was, because it was a "therapeutic" facility. He visited several websites and upon learning that he needed a referal from an Ed Con, the therapist gave him a name. He called the Ed Con on Friday, she recommended a facility. It was all done by phone. She never saw my son.
He and my son flew to Ga on Sat. My son was offically enrolled on Monday- when I received a call out of the blue, from a complete stranger telling me that my son would be spending the next 22 months at their facility. He then proceeded to layout the ground rules for communication, I would not be speaking to my son for the next 4-5 months. FYI, four to five months depending on how quickly their group formed- waiting for a minimum number of participants. I was livid. I could not believe what I was hearing. It was surreal.
He said something about my son being ODD. I asked if he had been evaluated prior to enrollment. No, they determined he was ODD based on his father's complaints. They weren't interested in my perspective, he was paying the bill. That was the beginning of a 20 month nightmare.
Another tidbit about the Ed Con. Mid way through my son's stay I discovered that the facility wasn't licensed, nor was their newly opened wilderness program (bootcamp). I called and confronted her. She hemmed and hawed through the taped conversation. No, she didn't know that neither facility was licensed. No, she didn't know about the restriction diet. No, she didn't know the mail was censored and phone calls monitored. No, she'd never met my son. No, she didn't know if he had been evaluated before placement. Near the end, in defense, with a line straight out of the Ed Con textbook, she said her goal was to make the best placement possible so the child could get back on track academically and get on with their life. She added that she "hoped it would be a good placement for my son".
Had she known anything at all about my son, she would've known that he was an A/B student, well liked by his peers and teachers. He had no academic problems.
Since that time, I have personally known two other teens who have been incarcerated. One did not come home. He died 13 months ago at a Utah wilderness program, Skyline Journey, due to gross negligence. That is and will always be my opinion.
A family therapist refered his mom. The other teen's parent was refered by a school counselor.
When parents are desperate to dump their child the information is not difficult to find.
Deborah
Anonymous:
Carey: It's horrible that all of the WWASPS schools are being targeted because of one idiot director that only cared about numbers. When I admitted my son to a WWASPS therapeutic school my ex was required to sign the papers, even though I had full custody. They wouldn't budge on the signature. You've been through a lot. I wish you the best.
Deborah: Yours is also a horror story. It sounds like they took control and took away your parental rights. It validates my feelings about educational consultants. I know they can't all be like that, but a good majority of them are. I experienced the same thing when I was begging for help. Our therapist recommended an ed.con. and even though my son had been experiencing difficulites for several years including uncontrollable anger and drug/alcohol use, she recommended a two week wilderness program. Yes, I was desperate, but KNEW this was not going to help. I asked if there was anything longer with therapy. You know what she said. Yes, but they are expensive and since you said you were a single parent, I didn't think you would be able to afford it. I was furious at myself for wasting my time with this person.
I was with you up until you said that parents desperate to DUMP their children can find what they're looking for. If you knew our life at that time, that was not my motivation. We both needed help and I take responsibility for not being the mother he needed. We got ourselves into dangerous territory, it was up to me to get us out. I myself was a troubled teen, having spent 6 months in a facility, which was not abusive, though I cried abuse enough to make my mom believe it so she pulled me out. For many years after that 16-26 my own life was out of control. Yes, I grew out of it, but at what cost? I won't go into those years, but I was not going to watch my son beat the same path.
I knew what was needed, but my home state only had state and insurance run places with time limits that offered little or nothing to help me and us as a family. It was clear none of these places was "family friendly."
This was all happening in early 1999. I didn't know programs like WWASP(S) existed. I was ice-skating with my younger son and because my older son refused to go, I was pretty down that day. I went to sit on a bench and couldn't stop the tears. There was a woman there who saw me, came over to me and held me. Complete stranger who had no clue why I was in breakdown. She asked if there was anything she could do, and with a bit of sarcasm I said not unless she could find help for my son and I. She shared her struggle with her son and told me about where he was. I listened to her. I had felt so alone until that day. I knew it wouldn't be easy for either one of us, but this felt "right." I talked with kids that had been there and was taken with their honesty and how they had changed their lives. These happy and "together" young people gave me hope.
Yes, this woman received a free months tuition for her own son, but I would have gladly paid her myself. Where was she when I wasted time and money with an educational consultant who had NO clue what we needed? She wasn't out looking for me, but I wish she had been. She didn't twist my arm or tell me what to do. She was there when I needed her.
My ex wasn't happy about feelng like he had failed his son, but agreed to the admission. We didn't fight about it or play one against the other in some power struggle. We healed a lot of the ugly parts of our past through the seminars and family therapy with our son.
I found this site, and it is so full of pain. I wish there was something I can do to help, really. People like Joe and Sue Scheff are here to teach us lessons about what we are willing to accept in our lives. You don't like WWASPS, and that's okay. Do what works for you. It's all a part of your own healing process.
I'm ready for all of you who think I'm part of some PR group or am getting paid for posting, but any former WWASPIE on this board knows that doesn't happen. This little "invasion" of mine is all brought to you free of charge. LOL!
Anonymous:
Thanks Deborah, for sharing your experience which certainly raises some legitimate questions about whether parents should feel confident placing their their trust (and their $$$$ )in the hands of someone who may or may not have their child's best interest at heart.
What do you recommend parents do to protect themselves and their child from the potential to fall victim to the same kind of exploitation?
Unfortunately, I think watch-dog organizations like ISAC are missing-the-boat on exposing the level of corruption among private entities and persons who specialize in private placements and collect hefty "finder's fees" paid by the programs themselves.
Perhaps you and Carey can join forces and come up with some ideas on how to prevent other parents and children from being "used and abused" like you were?
:smile:
Anonymous:
To The Anonymous WWASPS Parent:
Your sugar-coated story made me want to
::puke::
FYI:
Referring children into a treatment program for a "finder's fee" (free tuition) is unethical.
Second, not signing your name to your TESTIMONIAL is proof positive that you have neither the courage nor the integrity to stand up for your beliefs.
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