Im a mother of a 15yr old boy...and he is slowly loosing his future...he is ditching classes, failing the ones he does attend and is smoking pot. Ive had the zero tolerance conversations, but I cant be with my son 24hrs a day to monitor what he is doing. Ive informed the school that he is buying drugs on campus, wont allow friends at our house, or him at theirs, but he still finds a way. Ive tried looking up any resources on line, but they consist of schools out of state and thousands of dollars. I believe my son is at the beginning of a very bad path and Im quite sure if I can find a "scared straight" program that will steer him onto a better path...unfortunately I cant find one...I saw one on the Maricopa Sherrif's website to SHARE tents but that program has been gone for over a year. Does anyone have any ideas or know of a place that I can refer my son to? PLEASE HELP!
Smells like troll but i will respond anyway.
Smoking pot is not the problem. Most times kids who have a hard time in school and who turn to a habitual usage of drugs are self medicating underlying issues and or mental disorders. A "scared straight" program is really the last place he will get adequate help for these problems. Have you noticed depression, isolation, social anxiety and or self esteem issues with your son in the past? These are all signs of underlying problems. Drugs don't do people, people do drugs and there is a reason why they start. Try addressing these possible mental health issues BEFORE you consider any further steps especially about placement in a treatment facility. Get him to see a youth therapist maybe even a psychiatrist if there is a diagnosis, but I STRONGLY recommend FAMILY COUNSELING. because your son is only a small part of the problem here, from what I can tell it is mostly how you relate to him.
Honestly lady, you need to realize that smoking pot in this day and age is NORMAL TEENAGE BEHAVIOR!! and weed is not this scary gateway drug that it was made out to be in the 70's, and I can bet you that this is not a bad habit he is most likely experimenting or using socially. You MUST realize that just smoking weed does not automatically mean he is headed down a "very bad path" honestly this hysteria that today's parents get caught up in is so maddening to me. I can't even tell you how many people I know who have smoked weed as a teen and turned out just fine. Weed is not "dope" anymore grandma, its a pretty typical thing these days and its well on its way to being legalized. Weed has no harmful side effects and serves a positive medicinal purpose. Think of it as an herbal approach to medicating many painful and depressive disorders. Odds actually are that it is helping him to improve his self esteem, relate to his peers and develop a harmonious self image. If the school work has become a problem because he prefers to socialize (and smoking weed is part of that) well, that's when the good ol parenting comes in. Sit down with him, have a talk... tell him you are concerned for his future and there could be life long consequences if he doesn't start making his education a priority. Talk to him about his dreams and hopes for the future basically "what he wants to be when he grows up" Talk to him about college and the economy and what its like to live on your own and support yourself, tell him he has to pay attention now and learn these skills or he will be left in the dust and stuck struggling to survive for the rest of his life. You need to parent your child not punish him and no they are not the same thing, earn his trust and give him some trust in return. Talk to him about his drug use, do not punish him for it, just talk to him about it, as to why he does it and how it makes him feel when he uses and if he uses with friends or alone... basically find out if hes self medicating and offer him to get help the legal way through a doctor and medication. I will say tho, if you are afraid of gateway drugs often the pharmaceutical drugs are FAR worse depending on the diagnosis. Most times some people are much better off smoking weed. There are more than plenty of adults who have learned how to use marijuana responsibly, and most others use a few times during their life and quit. Weed is not the devil, stop making it such a big deal and just keep an eye on how he chooses to handle this life lesson. STOP punishing him for such insignificant issues, you are only driving him away. I don't know how many teen years you have left with your son but believe me if you don't lighten up and start letting him live his life and make the mistakes he needs to make in order to learn his life lessons you will only find raising him to be much MUCH harder. The harder you push the more he will pull away from you and lose trust and love for you. These are your fears, misconceptions and control issues here it has nothing to do with his ability to grow through this phase in his life, and YOU are the one that needs to deal with that. DON'T screw up his whole life because you apparently don't know how to be a parent. and just a tid bit,
NO, I don't do drugs not even weed. Yes, I have smoked weed as a teen and learned the lesson I was supposed to learn. Being a kid is exactly what he needs in order to get to the point where he chooses on his own not to use, and the more you try to force him to quit and especially if you send him to a program the more issues he will develop giving him MORE reason to want to smoke weed when hes 18.
You have NO reason to send your kid to a program, and futhermore coming here to ask us if there are any good programs is like going to a slaughterhouse looking for tofu. Don't expect a nicer response than this one either. :flame:
