I think the suicides are the worst... You can always blame a murder on the murderer but when it comes to a person being miserable enough to take their own life you have to ask yourself what happened in their life that made them feel so helpless. In the cases of those who committed suicide a few months to even years after the program I can really understand why.
In a lot of cases the snowball effect is to blame, all which started either by their abusive and/ or controlling parents and then their imprisonment at one of the many various programs. The main reason I personally believe the program still effects my life is the everlasting looming feeling of hopelessness something I only grew accustomed to in the program. The program changed my personality, or maybe its just the PTSD but the way they fucked with my head tends to draw me into the fear of the outside world (social anxienty) and the memories keep me up at night fucking up my schedule and making it hard for me to be motivated to be productive. Not to mention that I was refused an education, didnt get to go to high school OR college (and YES all directly because of the program) and now its an epic struggle just to survive. I'm VERY VERY lucky that I am able to work with my mom and can work from home, other wise I really don't know if I would be able to make it out there. Most days I really have to convince myself with some fantasy of a future life of grandeur just to get to work. Most days I just want to say fuck it and give up... and I mean REALLY give up. I honestly believe if it weren't for the fact that I am involved with this movement I might have felt it appropriate to take that step to end it all... So I can understand why those who did, did.