Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Daytop Village
DAYTOP Did Me Great Harm in the Long Run
SEKTO:
--- Quote from: "Inculcated" ---Your words brought tears to my eyes. I am not one who often cries. I am currently in 2x weekly sessions with a Psychologist who inadvertantly triggered a cascade of memories and rage in me...by simply using vernacular I remember from Daytop. He had at some point worked within a similar program. I made my disgust about that known.
I was one of the first 7 "family members" of DayTop Richardson TX. In that "common ground", I was trained and encouraged to be hostile and confrontational. My recollection of encounter groups are as of being a prized conteder in the verbally abusive equivalent of a cock fighting ring. I was a 13 yr. old girl. I know that I quickly assimilated in to a scary little bitch who would "drop slips" on even counselors (Yes, even Marcy. I wonder if the Marcia written of had a scar on her right cheek. Same cheeky bitch?). I was searching for that "refuge" we all intoned about together, each morning meeting. I became trained to cut my peers to the quick and was rewarded with promotions for adapting so well. I am sorry to all who have ever encountered me in an encounter group or "hair cut" (more like a scalping). My experience of that place would have been far less damaging if someone any one of them had allowed me to be a kid or at least reminded me that I was.
I was 14 when I was sent "upstate" to NewYork for residential treatment, after the police found me stoned at a male counselor's apartment. Granted, he held only a marginal role of being an "atheletics counselor" and was of course to the "others"(promoted from within) an outsider. No charges were filed against the "counselor" for having provided me with drugs or for harboring a runaway. One officer did ask if "anything had happened". I answered truthfully, "no". While sexual contact had not occured by the time of my being "located there", it had seemed to me inevitable. By that I mean unavoidable, as choice was not a consideration in that role. Following this, I was treated to my 15TH birthday in Millbrook, NY. In the RTC environment I was "that one" the girl with the dubious distinction of being the problem child that had been swept their way. I am aware that that which made me vulnerable to that particular pervert pre-dated my arrival at DayTop. That did not make the hypocracy of having been sent to RTC, and harshly discouraged from speaking honestly of the circumstances that brought me to RTC any less harmful. I became sucidol while in NY.
I'm startled by how vivid my anger for these thing is.
--- End quote ---
Yes, now I know that you are for real, Inculcated.
Marcy indeed has a scar on one of her cheeks, I cannot recall which.
Like Gorman and his teardrop tattoo: it was under one of his eyes, but I likewise I cannot recall which.
How did you find this board?
We might remember one another?
Do we have mutual friends?
Do remember a guy named Henry H.? A Cole H.? Bobby H.? A girl named Renee H.?
They were some of the first, from what I remember. What a coincidence, that their last names all start with an H. Odd.
SEKTO:
Also, I recall that the kid who came back from NY (I think he was at Millbrook too) and told me of DAYTOP's supposed mob connections was a goofy redheaded guy John HOPKINS, if memory serves. Whoa! Another H.
A coorection: my bad. There was a Henry C., not a Henry H.
But a Cole H. Renee H. and a Bobby H. also Bobby's brother was there for a while; his name was Chris H. Their cousin too, Jeremy H.
Also John HOPKINS, the redheaded guy who was in Millbrook.
SEKTO:
Today I come writing with a story to tell all of you, a story about The Man Who Thought That He Was Dead.
This man firmly believed he was dead, even though he was a living, normally–functioning human being. Well, his wife persuaded him to visit a psychiatrist, who tried in vain to convince him that he was in fact alive. Who wants to be married to a dead guy? The wife argued.
The psychiatrist hit upon a plan. In order to help this poor soul, the psychiatrist realized that he had to introduce the man to one fact that would contradict the belief that he held, that belief being that he was dead. The psychiatrist decided to prove to the man that dead men do not bleed.
So he showed the man medical reports and scientific evidence that dead men do not bleed. He took the man to a hospital and they witnessed an operation together, so that the man could see that living people bleed when cut. Next they went to the country morgue, and the man witnessed an autopsy, seeing that the corpse did not shed blood when incised.
After thoroughly convincing the man that dead men do not bleed, the psychiatrist took out a pin and pricked the man’s finger.
When the man saw the drop of blood trickle down his finger, his eyes bugged out. "Ha!" he cried, "Dead men do bleed after all!"
My point is, that Magnificent and Honesty and the rest of the DAYTOP apologists will not believe anything I say if it is critical of the beloved program, regardless.
The truth of what we went through in DAYTOP Dallas in the early '90s doesn't matter to them. It's critical of the program, therefore I am not allowed to say it.
In a cult, abusive organization, or abusive relationship it does not matter if the information presented is true. If it is negative about the group or any member of the group, then you cannot say it. Usually such negative information will be will be labeled as slander, and if one persists in speaking it or writing it one can be disciplined severely, ultimately with expulsion from the group, or, if one is an outsider speaking ill about or being at all critical of the group, one can be demonized, dehumanized, poked fun at, humiliated, or what have you.
For saying what I have said, I have been called a failure, a phony, a liar, a person in need of help, all that.
Therefore, it's truly a waste of time IMO to bother with trying to have a rational, objective, mature discussion with any of the DAYTOPians.
They simply cannot be reasoned with.
All they'll do is twist whatever I communicate back onto me and try and make it into some personal attack. They'll give me a forum haircut. When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
There's nothing that anybody can say, some magic phrase, that will make their critical thinking skills turn on with respect to what I have brought to the table and concede that I might have a point. They'll just invalidate everything I've said and dismiss it all as "complete fabrication."
They'll invalidate everything I say as pure lies and slander no matter what evidence I bring.
It's no fabrication. I know what I know. I was there. They were not. Simple as that.
Their confirmation bias is too strong. Therefore, any attempt at dialog is futile IMO. DAYTOP in their minds is incapable of being wrong or incorrect, about anything, ever.
Trying to get through to them with logic and reason is like banging your head into a wall over and over again. After a while, it becomes painful.
To put a finer point on what I am trying to say, it's as if I am writing to the waking dead.
psy:
cool story. I liked your example with the coins earlier too(if that was you... or maybe i'm thinking of somebody else)
SEKTO:
Do you mean the one about the coin trick that one eventually starts playing on oneself? I'll post it later, when I have more time.
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