The following is just a fictional short story about life at HLA.
Once upon a time in the North Georgia Mountains, lived the Squidbillies.
GENERAL RELEASE AND CONFIDENTIALITY AGREEMENT
NOW COME H.. Squidbilly, individually and L. Squidbilly, individually, (hereinafter “the Squidbillies”) and hereby agree to a General Release and Confidentiality Agreement (hereinafter the “Agreement”) in favor of HLA, Inc. (hereinafter “HLA”). The Squidbillies and HLA may also collectively be referred to as “the Parties”.
DEFINITIONS
(A) Except as otherwise stated, throughout this Agreement, “the Squidbillies” means H. Squidbilly and L. Squidbilly, individually, their heirs, agents, representatives and assigns, and any and all persons or entities acting by, through, under, or in concert with any of them.
(B) Except as otherwise stated, throughout this Agreement, “HLA” means HLA, Inc., Hidden Lake Academy, Inc, and Ridge Creek, Inc., their agents, representatives, attorneys, parents, subsidiaries, related companies or entities, owners, directors, officers, employees, receivers, trustees, successors, assigns, and any and all persons or entities acting by, through, under, or in concert with any of them.
PREAMBLE
WHEREAS, certain disputes and differences have arisen between the Parties with respect to amounts allegedly due for services provided by HLA and the quality of care received by L. (the squid child) while at HLA, and other disputes and differences (hereinafter “the Claims”).
WHEREAS, the Squidbillies desire to enter into this Agreement in full and final compromise and settlement of the Claims and any and all disputes, differences, claims or potential claims in favor of the Squidbillies against HLA, including, without limitation, the Claims;
WHEREAS, HLA desires that any and all past, present, or future dealings among the Squidbillies and HLA and the terms of settlement memorialized herein set forth herein be and remain strictly confidential; and
WHEREAS, the Squidbillies agree to a General Release of all Claims against HLA and to total and complete confidentiality in accordance with the terms set forth below.
TERMS AND CONDITIONS
NOW, THEREFORE, in reliance on the representations contained herein, and in consideration of the mutual promises, covenants, and obligations set forth in this Agreement, and for good and valuable consideration, the receipt and sufficiency of which are hereby acknowledged, the Squidbillies agree as follows:
1. This agreement is not binding upon the Squidbillies until their receipt of the sum total of $15,***.00 from HLA, which represents three full months.
2. The Squidbillies expressly agree and acknowledge that neither this Agreement nor the payment referred to herein shall be deemed an admission of any facts or liability by any Party, such facts and liability being expressly denied.
3. The Squidbillies hereby release, acquit, and forever discharge HLA from any and all charges, claims, actions, causes of action, demands, complaints, liabilities, liens, obligations, promises, agreements, controversies, damages, suits, rights, costs, losses, debts, or expenses (including attorney's fees and costs actually incurred) of any kind whatsoever, whether known or unknown, suspected or unsuspected, fixed or contingent, which the Squidbillies may have had, may now have, or may hereafter have arising from or growing out of any act or omission related in any way whatsoever relating to the Claims and/or related in any way whatsoever to any and all dealings or transactions between or among the Parties.
4. Paragraph 3 above is meant to be a General Release by the Squidbillies covering any and all claims, known or unknown, or potential claims against HLA, and should be so construed. The Squidbillies intend their General Release to relinquish their legal rights with respect to the above-stated disputes and differences and to release, resolve, and terminate any and all disputes. This document should be so interpreted toward that end.
5. The Squidbillies agree that, unless specifically required to do so by law, they will not disclose, publish, disseminate, or release, in any manner whatsoever, to any third party or other entity, any information whatsoever relating to the Claims, the terms of this Agreement, or the consideration paid hereunder except to state that the matter has been settled. The Squidbillies further agree that they will hold in total, strict, and complete confidence, and not disclose to anyone or anything, by any method whatsoever, any and all information and/or facts pertaining to any disputes, differences and/or dealings with or against HLA including, but not limited to any and all terms, conditions and/or payments set forth in this Agreement.
6. The Squidbillies agree and acknowledge that execution and delivery of this Agreement and performance of the obligations hereunder constitutes a valid and binding obligation.
7. The Squidbillies agree to indemnify HLA from any claims brought by Georgia Squidbilly, or her heirs, agents, representatives and assigns, and any and all persons or entities acting by, through, under, or in concert with any of them regarding the Claims.
8. No promises, inducements or agreements not herein expressed have been made by any Party. This Agreement may not be altered, amended, modified or otherwise changed except by a writing duly executed by all Parties.
9. This Agreement constitutes the entire agreement between the Parties relating to the subject matter contained herein and supersedes all prior and contemporaneous agreements, understandings, negotiations, and representations, whether oral or written, of the Parties pertaining to the matters hereof.
10. Each person who signs this Agreement warrants that said signatory has the power, authority, and legal right to execute and deliver this Agreement on behalf of the entities or persons indicated below and to perform the obligations hereunder.
11. This Agreement shall be governed by and construed and interpreted in accordance with the laws of the State of Georgia, without regard to the principles of conflicts of laws thereof.
SO AGREED, this the day of , 200*.
Sworn to and subscribed
before me
this day of , 200*.
NOTARY PUBLIC BY: H. Squidbilly, Individually and on behalf
of his squid child, L. Squidbilly
Sworn to and subscribed
before me
this day of , 200*.
NOTARY PUBLIC BY: L. Squidbilly, Individually
JF/LIT/GENERAL RELEASE/HLA.SQUIDBILLY
The moral of the story? HLA vows to seek control over the squid family, anyone they know; including dogs, angels and God ("entities"), and that they will ever know, including descendants, over what they say for the rest of their lives to anyone regarding HLA. Furthermore, they even were given a line they must repeat whenever subject matter brought up, "It's been settled." to use the true corrupt vague statement of such corporations. And this will protect all generations of any staff ever having worked at HLA or anyone whose affiliated or ever gone their to use their bathroom, for an unlimited number of generations to come, from having charges of any nature brought forth from any squidbilly affiliate.
The end.