Fornits "Lighter Side"

[Froderik]

How many Straightlings does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

How many?

One to screw it in, the other 499,000 to fuck, suck, lick, and generally sodomize and incestualize each other; pissing, scatting, rusty trumpeting, dirty sanchezing, flute slurpeling, pussy scatting, cocksmoking, cumming, kicking, confronting, marathoning, felating, puking violently, punching, spitting, felching, farting and just generally hurting one another while the one poor fucker tries to get the lightbulb in. I forgot to mention that the paid staff has to get involved in all of this while the one straightling is screwing in the lightbulb.

[TheWho]

Ha,Ha,Ha,   nice one Frod!

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "NO! I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology, and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?!"



...

[TheWho]

QUIZ

Read the top before you scroll down...................

You are in a desert. You have with you the following five animals:
A lion, a cow, a horse, a sheep, and a monkey.

To escape the desert you are going to have to get rid of one of your animals.
Which one do you drop? (You can use whatever logic you like BUT > keep track of which animal is discarded when!) You have 4 animals left.
The desert is burning up! It goes on for miles.
Sand is everywhere. You realize, to get out, you are going to have drop another animal.
Which do you drop?

You have 3 animals left.
Walk, walk, walk. Hot, hot, hot.
Disaster! The Oasis that you were looking for is dried up!
You have no choice but to drop another animal.

You have 2 animals left.
Ok, it's a long hot walk. You can see the edge of the desert way on the horizon. Unfortunately, you can only leave the desert with ONE animal.
Which one do you drop and which one do you keep?

Before looking at the answers below, make sure you know which animal you dropped in what order.

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These answers are based on Japanese Archetypes.

The desert represents a hardship.
The animals represent . . .


Lion = Pride

Monkey = Your Children

Sheep = friendship

Cow = Basic Needs

Horse = Your Passion.

So, in the face of hardship, you will sacrifice each of these things in turn. Your last animal represents that thing which you cling to at the expense of all others.

[TheWho]

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.

The guard stops him and says, "What''s in the bags?"

"Sand," answered Juan.

The guard says, "We'll just see about that get off the bike." The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.

He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.

The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man''s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have you got?"

"Sand," says Juan.

The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years. Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.

"Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about..... I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"

Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."

[DieYuppieSkum]

what is bloody, screaming and can't turn around in hallways


Who with a spear through his/her head.