Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Benchmark Young Adult School / Benchmark Transitions
psy
Oz girl:
a kid with a shithouse job can just walk away. A kid in a program just cant. I don't know about this idea of publically memorializing him without talking to family. Why not try and talk to them? They may be up for it. Or they may have legit objections. You dont know without trying to find out. However horrible and senseless this death is, these ppl have lost their child. They are going through the worst thing that can happen to a family.
TheWho:
--- Quote from: ""dishdutyfugitive"" ---I don't know you.
You think I'm going to share these personal details in a public forum?
Death and greif are a peronsal matter.
Wait, correction, unless you're a teenager who doesn't know any better or have the experience to know proper protocol you can bugger off. If you are a teenager that doesn't know any better (I've been there) or a genuine person who happened to misphrase the question ask yourself the following:
Would you share that information if you were in my shoes?
1. What interest do you have in whether or not my family members suicide was placed in the papers?
2. What interest do you have in whether or not my family members cause of death (suicide) was made public information?
3. What interest do you have in whether or not the local paper had a little piece about my family members accomplishmens in their life? Have you ever read a local or metropolitian newspaper? It sounds like you haven't. No one ever places an obit and makes reference to suicide.
I'm trying to be fair but you're really pushing it.
You want details ?
Pony up and put some skin in the game.
And if you are genuine, welcome aboard. PM me and we'll talk.
--- End quote ---
I had an extended family member and a member of a family that is close to me take their own lives. I can remember that they both opted not to place an obituary write up in the paper saying that they committed suicide or that they had died. I dont think anyone is looking for any details,like names and numbers, just whether it was in the paper or not and whether it was handled differently, DDF.
I have seen people die in automobile accidents and they are talked about in the paper (Obits), with a little about thier life and how they liked math or science and were good at sports etc....but you typically dont see this with suicides (adults or children).... since you experienced this 3 times you may have noticed this also.
...
TheWho:
Psy, you are much more tied into Benchmark and the background on “Georgeâ€
psy:
--- Quote from: ""Ursus"" ---"In your head" was used during my time at Hyde as well, and that pre-dates Straight, but not Synanon. My guess is that it may have originally come out of AA.
Hyde "practices" psychology with no psychologists on staff. In fact, Gauld hated psychologists. I think he took particular pleasure in skewering the small handful of parents who were psychologists or psychiatrists during family meetings. Those families' time at Hyde often did not end well, unless they were of the ilk who thought LGATs were comprised of emotional growth material.
--- End quote ---
Like Anne S. Hall. (Ottowa5)
--- Quote ---I like the term "criminal negligence" and I find it utterly appropriate. In fact, I think it puts Benchmark's treatment of George in an even worse light than one in which they merely "didn't help enough" or "didn't know." They knew, and they as much as pushed him over the edge.
--- End quote ---
Well. There is the possibility that the vast majority of them don't know and just have a really fucked up concept (they learn) of how to go about "helping" people. My only question is whether the bunch on top are true believers. I'm pretty sure the low-on-totem-pole staff are just cult members like any other. Afaik, none of them have any background in psychology and hence, no concept of what therapy is. All the easier to convince them that the Benchmark way is best way. By the time they figure it out... well... Benchmark has an extremely high staff turnover rate.
psy:
--- Quote from: ""Oz girl"" ---a kid with a shithouse job can just walk away. A kid in a program just cant. I don't know about this idea of publically memorializing him without talking to family. Why not try and talk to them?
--- End quote ---
If I had a last name, I might try, but I'm pretty sure the program isn't going to give it to me.
--- Quote ---They may be up for it. Or they may have legit objections. You dont know without trying to find out. However horrible and senseless this death is, these ppl have lost their child. They are going through the worst thing that can happen to a family.
--- End quote ---
Well. Here's the issue. Right now, the parents still most likely believe that their child was destined to commit suicide no matter what. Broaching the topic, asking the question of "what if" may just be too painful. What if they're far enough in the grieving process to not want to re-examine the past. I can understand that. It's really their choice. That being said, nobody owns George, not the parents, not Benchmark, nobody, and if bring the events surrounding his death to light can prevent further occurrences from happening, I don't think he'd really mind that. According to those I've talked to, he wasn't exactly a fan of program at the time he killed himself, anyway.
That being said, any memorial should be done in a tasteful manner, celebrating how he lived and who he was, not how he died, and not the last year or so of his life which, if I were him, would probably rather forget. I mean.... I wouldn't really want Benchmark on my memorial unless it was prefixed with "fuck". But that's just me, and I don't think anybody should put words in his mouth. Memorials should be about paying respects, not grinding an axe (there are other times and places for that).
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