Author Topic: kids being locked up 13 and younger  (Read 559 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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kids being locked up 13 and younger
« on: December 20, 2007, 09:16:35 PM »
Was anyone here sent away in this age range?

 My beloved was. I beleive her extreem youth was part of the reason that she was so deeply damaged by her experience, (not that i wasn't).

But, she went from being a vibrant, spritied, adventurous, yet grounded child to a mentally confused old woman with exreem self hatred, an inability to establish boundaries with her peers, (who exploited her) and engaged in self punishing and destructive behaviors to a much greater extent then me, and older kids. Whereas I went into this "sleepwalker", 'wait till an opprotunity comes to escape mode'...she just seemes to loose all track of the future, and her identity.

(btw, this "mode" didn't save me. Someone posted that you can't "wait" for it to be safe, that you need to actively "rebel", and that's right)

Were any of you sent away so young?

I am reaching the end of my teen years, but already, kids from that age range, look like babies. I can't understand the twisted thinking that goes into having a 13 year old-- this girl weighed about 70 lbs, and was 4 feet ten---kidnapped and institutionalized. Every time I see a kid I know is her age at the time of the abduction and torture, I get physically ill. not just sad, physically ill.

What do you think was wrong with your parents to do that to you?
The parents I am discussing were "crazy" and abusive. Overall, they didnt care what happened to their kid. I mean, they did in their own crazy way, but the same caring that OJ had for nicole...twisted, and unsafe
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Che Gookin

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Re: kids being locked up 13 and younger
« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2007, 09:25:13 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
Was anyone here sent away in this age range?

 My beloved was. I beleive her extreem youth was part of the reason that she was so deeply damaged by her experience, (not that i wasn't).

But, she went from being a vibrant, spritied, adventurous, yet grounded child to a mentally confused old woman with exreem self hatred, an inability to establish boundaries with her peers, (who exploited her) and engaged in self punishing and destructive behaviors to a much greater extent then me, and older kids. Whereas I went into this "sleepwalker", 'wait till an opprotunity comes to escape mode'...she just seemes to loose all track of the future, and her identity.

(btw, this "mode" didn't save me. Someone posted that you can't "wait" for it to be safe, that you need to actively "rebel", and that's right)

Were any of you sent away so young?

I am reaching the end of my teen years, but already, kids from that age range, look like babies. I can't understand the twisted thinking that goes into having a 13 year old-- this girl weighed about 70 lbs, and was 4 feet ten---kidnapped and institutionalized. Every time I see a kid I know is her age at the time of the abduction and torture, I get physically ill. not just sad, physically ill.

What do you think was wrong with your parents to do that to you?
The parents I am discussing were "crazy" and abusive. Overall, they didnt care what happened to their kid. I mean, they did in their own crazy way, but the same caring that OJ had for nicole...twisted, and unsafe


Seen it before... many of the kids I worked with at 3 springs were under the age of 13 when they arrived. Some stayed nearly 2 years before either being dropped or graduated.



Quote
What do you think was wrong with your parents to do that to you?
The parents I am discussing were "crazy" and abusive. Overall, they didnt care what happened to their kid. I mean, they did in their own crazy way, but the same caring that OJ had for nicole...twisted, and unsafe


This kind of parent is a good canidate for a pistol whipping.


The part that screws up kids so young, IMO, is the unreal expectations thrown on them. Even if the program isn't overtly abusive they still have this notion that the kid has to achieve to some superhuman level of performance.

While there these kids will be exposed to a range of behaviors from staff and peers. They will see their peers act out in ways they've never seen them act out before. They will see behavior from staff that will leave them scarred for life.

So yeah.. what happened to the young girl isn't a surprise.. They are forced to act beyond their years and subjected to an emotional roller coaster.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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kids being locked up 13 and younger
« Reply #2 on: December 21, 2007, 04:08:53 AM »
Quote
This kind of parent is a good canidate for a pistol whipping.


Parents are fed a very convincing line of BS. They don't see what happens to their kids in there. Parents are conned, and unfortunately, eventually brainwashed.

They're definately not informed in the beginning.

I think most parents have extremely good intentions when putting their kids in programs. Many have tried everything else and put their kids in as a last resort.

I'm sure if any parent knew in advance what was going to happen to their child there is no WAY they would put them in there.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Che Gookin

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kids being locked up 13 and younger
« Reply #3 on: December 21, 2007, 09:15:16 AM »
Quote
What do you think was wrong with your parents to do that to you?
The parents I am discussing were "crazy" and abusive. Overall, they didnt care what happened to their kid.mean, they did in their own crazy way, but the same caring that OJ had for nicole...twisted, and unsafe


I met way to many of these sorts of sad buggers when I worked at both Eckerds and Three Springs.

And yes they deserve a pistol whipping.

And you know what? With all the information on programs avaliable today I'm finding it hard not to advocate a pistol whipping for any parent who falls for programmie bullshit.

More power to the people who have the patience to work with parents. I don't normally work with parents and won't be bothered to unless they willingly admit their failings as parents and apologize to their child.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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kids being locked up 13 and younger
« Reply #4 on: December 21, 2007, 10:28:05 AM »
Quote
And you know what? With all the information on programs avaliable today I'm finding it hard not to advocate a pistol whipping for any parent who falls for programmie bullshit.


Unfortunately the only information I found on these programs were after we got sucked into one.

I wish I had found fornits first. This never would have happened.

I fully admit my shortcomings as a parent, I come from a place where my family has never had to question any services we've required in the past.

I truly believed that a place treating youth on a residential basis could not operate here without being licensed, having standards of care, being held accountable to someone. This place lied to me so effectively, put on such a professional front that I had no reason to question it.

But I did have reason to question it, and never again will I take anyting for granted in life.

When I did realize what was going on, I got out, and have been doing everything in my power to get my child out as well.

When you use the hospital you don't go looking into licensing, doing full background checks on all the doctors, nurses, technicians who work there. You just ASSUME they are accredited and will treat you properly. That's what it was like with this.

My trust in the government, no my trust in everyone and everything is completely gone.

I admit my gullibility, my shortcomings as a parent, I apologize to my child everyday for my part in getting him stuck in this place, even though I don't talk to him, I still apologize, and will spend the rest of my life apologizing.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Che Gookin

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kids being locked up 13 and younger
« Reply #5 on: December 21, 2007, 10:36:38 AM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
Quote
And you know what? With all the information on programs avaliable today I'm finding it hard not to advocate a pistol whipping for any parent who falls for programmie bullshit.

Unfortunately the only information I found on these programs were after we got sucked into one.

I wish I had found fornits first. This never would have happened.

I fully admit my shortcomings as a parent, I come from a place where my family has never had to question any services we've required in the past.

I truly believed that a place treating youth on a residential basis could not operate here without being licensed, having standards of care, being held accountable to someone. This place lied to me so effectively, put on such a professional front that I had no reason to question it.

But I did have reason to question it, and never again will I take anyting for granted in life.

When I did realize what was going on, I got out, and have been doing everything in my power to get my child out as well.

When you use the hospital you don't go looking into licensing, doing full background checks on all the doctors, nurses, technicians who work there. You just ASSUME they are accredited and will treat you properly. That's what it was like with this.

My trust in the government, no my trust in everyone and everything is completely gone.

I admit my gullibility, my shortcomings as a parent, I apologize to my child everyday for my part in getting him stuck in this place, even though I don't talk to him, I still apologize, and will spend the rest of my life apologizing.


good deal. I can work with you. Email me at [email protected] if you want to raise a little hell. I might just be able to point you in the right direction.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Oz girl

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kids being locked up 13 and younger
« Reply #6 on: December 21, 2007, 05:39:37 PM »
I can see why the parent of a difficult 16 year old living in a state that practices zero tolerance would think of a program or even panic when they find out about their child's partiality to drugs. In some cases like this I have as much sympathy for the parents as I do the poor kid. I just don't think some internet articles and sites are always enough to counteract the advice of "professionals" like ed cons and pshrinks and a not always unrealistic fear of jail or total school expulsion. This does not mean that the kid deserves it or that they don't have every right to their anger.

But like the original poster I just cant understand at all what a 12 or year old could possibly do that is so terrible that they need to be in a program. I look at my sister's 14 and 12 yr old boys and see children who think they are men. I would wager that in most cases there is some stepbitch who just did not sign on for an annoying kid and a parent who would rather give in to the idea that their baby is "troubled" than loose their new partner.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
n case you\'re worried about what\'s going to become of the younger generation, it\'s going to grow up and start worrying about the younger generation.-Roger Allen

Offline Anonymous

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kids being locked up 13 and younger
« Reply #7 on: December 22, 2007, 03:30:35 AM »
Quote from: ""Oz girl""
I can see why the parent of a difficult 16 year old living in a state that practices zero tolerance would think of a program or even panic when they find out about their child's partiality to drugs. In some cases like this I have as much sympathy for the parents as I do the poor kid. I just don't think some internet articles and sites are always enough to counteract the advice of "professionals" like ed cons and pshrinks and a not always unrealistic fear of jail or total school expulsion. This does not mean that the kid deserves it or that they don't have every right to their anger.

But like the original poster I just cant understand at all what a 12 or year old could possibly do that is so terrible that they need to be in a program. I look at my sister's 14 and 12 yr old boys and see children who think they are men. I would wager that in most cases there is some stepbitch who just did not sign on for an annoying kid and a parent who would rather give in to the idea that their baby is "troubled" than loose their new partner.

In this case this was a biological mothers with a medea complexes. A father with a challow attatchment and serious mental narcisistic problems. They were both abusive/neglectful parents who had a perfectly normal kid whom they couldn't appreciate because of their rage, bitterness and sorrow. they deserve to be in prison for murder
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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kids being locked up 13 and younger
« Reply #8 on: December 22, 2007, 04:44:42 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
Quote
And you know what? With all the information on programs avaliable today I'm finding it hard not to advocate a pistol whipping for any parent who falls for programmie bullshit.

Unfortunately the only information I found on these programs were after we got sucked into one.

I wish I had found fornits first. This never would have happened.

I fully admit my shortcomings as a parent, I come from a place where my family has never had to question any services we've required in the past.

I truly believed that a place treating youth on a residential basis could not operate here without being licensed, having standards of care, being held accountable to someone. This place lied to me so effectively, put on such a professional front that I had no reason to question it.

But I did have reason to question it, and never again will I take anyting for granted in life.

When I did realize what was going on, I got out, and have been doing everything in my power to get my child out as well.

When you use the hospital you don't go looking into licensing, doing full background checks on all the doctors, nurses, technicians who work there. You just ASSUME they are accredited and will treat you properly. That's what it was like with this.

My trust in the government, no my trust in everyone and everything is completely gone.

I admit my gullibility, my shortcomings as a parent, I apologize to my child everyday for my part in getting him stuck in this place, even though I don't talk to him, I still apologize, and will spend the rest of my life apologizing.


Wow, does he refuse to speak to you?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »