Wow, a lot of intense responses to my post. There is no question that I am having a crisis of conscience concerning my son’s placement. It has truly been a calamity from the start. Especially now, given the accusations of abuse and the antagonistic environment that has subsequently developed there. The staff’s abusive behavior was reported by our attorney and Montana’s Child Protective Services are currently investigating the incidents. Because the Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch failed to report the claim, Child Protective Services issued a complaint against their license. Local publicity and a threat of litigation have provided a measure of safety while we work out what to do next.
The question that keeps being raised is why is my son still at Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch? The answer involves maintaining or losing Special Education services available through his school’s Individual Education Plan. He was placed in Residential Treatment to receive mental health and educational services that were not available at home. My son’s situation is complicated by the fact that his behavior is unpredictable and can at times become violent and dangerous. Most often he is gentle, compassionate, funny and intellectually inspired. But, I have had to call the police on numerous occasions to break up fights between my son and his brothers. At school, he was recurrently disrespectful, very disruptive and eventually referred by the school district for placement when he allegedly intimidated a younger peer.
I love and miss my son very much. It is a devastating decision to send a child to a treatment center. It is done in desperation, not to simply dodge one’s duty as a mother. I have been struggling with my son’s behavior problems for years. I’ve looked for an appropriate diagnosis and effective treatments with marginal success at best. I’ve utilized prominent psychiatrists, psychologists, school counselors, church ministers, family therapy, sports therapy, parenting classes, mentors, youth groups, community wrap-around programs and more. There is the larger issue of parental responsibility and my son’s precarious impact on his siblings and our community. It is truly an impossible choice with too much at stake. My hope is that my son will, with attentive treatment, return to our home and community successfully.
History may eventually look back at today’s standard for children’s mental healthcare treatment as barbaric. Without a doubt, most of the programs I’ve researched are dreadful. I am not convinced, however, that every treatment program out there is bad for children. I believe there must be some people out there who are dedicated to helping emotionally ill children. Villa Santa Maria in New Mexico is exceptional for working with children with Reactive Attachment Disorder. I am researching the Montcalm School in Michigan, which seems to be more positive and maintains a less adversarial relationship with the children. Interestingly, they also have a listing of the alumni organization with former students (going back to the 1920’s) crediting the school with making a big difference in their lives.
