I still have a hard time bonding with women. When I graduated the program, most of the girls were either dorks, or they were full of it and I harbored alot of resentment for the shit they had pulled during their programs. As far as dating, that was out of the question, seeing how I did not have a car. I did have the one girl pal that I knew in school and rode horses with and stuff, but that was pure friendship. I missed out on the guy-girl permissions and crap that came later. My first real date came a short while after I had gotten my car. She was a fixer-upper that a buddy knew from school. She was Irish Italian and still in school and really sweet. I learned the hard way the limits some girls will go to to keep a boyfriend happy. They had changed my shift at work unexpectedly, but I had promised to take this girl to the beach. We went, and I was so damn tired, I lay down on the blanket and went to sleep. I wound up sleeping for 5 hours, and that poor girl lay next to me reading a book, afraid to wake me up because she did'nt want to make me mad. I wound up with 2nd degree burns on the backs of my legs and she wound up in the hospital with sun poisoning. I felt so bad about it all that I did'nt date for like a whole year afterwards. As far as Straight girls go, there was just no way. All the good ones had been snapped up by the guys who had rich daddies, and the ones left were just a real drag. I did however have an undercover clandestine relationship with a girl Staff Trainee from Seminole. That was a real trip for certain! I mean on weekends I would hang with the gang, and Straight girls were the last thing on our minds. We would do the Mid-nite Movie Express, hold up at stoplights and shoot bottle rockets at the front windows of redneck bars, just to see the hillbillies run out and cuss at us and general hell raising, but then during the week, I had this deep caring friendship with a girl from the "Enemy Camp." It was really crazy. I saw her in 1987 at Tyrone Mall after a 5 year absense.
I was with a girl from my neighborhood and this old Staffer picked me out of the crowd. Her face lit up like a Christmas Tree and she was really happy to see me. Sadly, she was due to go into the Air Force or Navy that coming summer. I never saw her after that. Even though she was closer to me than any other girl I knew from the program, I could not bring myself to bond. There was something wrong with me. I could feel it alot of times, yet did not know what it was. Almost a year to the week I last saw her, I had my life changing nervous breakdown.
