Author Topic: Holding parents accountable  (Read 18042 times)

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Offline Che Gookin

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Holding parents accountable
« Reply #135 on: October 14, 2007, 05:30:04 AM »
Feel free to start a thread in the Facilities Questions and Answers forum as well.

Given you seek alternatives you are protected under clause A of the Shithead Parent manifesto.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Che Gookin

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« Reply #136 on: October 14, 2007, 06:25:22 AM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
Fact is there are at least two former program parents who appear to be in need of serious psychological counseling who post on Fornits on a regular basis.  Both thrive on confrontation and blame their kid for needing (or is it deserving?) to be sent away.  One kid had alleged entitlement issues like any normal teen, the other kid was more of an "inconvenience" to the parents own entitlement issues. Then there are the re-born parents, some of the most obnoxious, self-absorbed, delusional, twisted, pathologically obsessed people you'll ever meet on the planet.  I wish someone would do a study on parents.  Mandatory testing of parents makes a hell of a lot more sense than testing teens.  

:scared:  :scared:  :scared:


Don't hold out.. name the names.. I need to know if I should apply the Shithead parent manifesto towards them.
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Offline SettleForNothingLess

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« Reply #137 on: October 14, 2007, 06:37:44 AM »
I know im a little behind, but if I ever had a kid, and they had issues, therre is noooooo fuckin way in hell Id send my kid to some death trap. I dont care how bad they might be. I kno if someone had just showed me LOVE and LISTENED to me, Id prob be much better off. All I needed was a POSITIVE role model. Didnt need no beatings and such forth. So dont go saying that the kids dont understand, cuz  its some parents (not all) who just havv no fuckin clue.
SO FUCKKKK THAT SHIIIIIAATT about kids not knowing the stresses and bullllshit... OVER MY DEADDDD BODY WOULD I EVER GIVE IN TO THE TROUBLED TEEN INDUSTRY AND ITS BULLLLLLSHITTTTTTT
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Yours Truly,
Ms. Vigilante
Im standing on the frontline, there waiting for you PV bitches. Lets rock n roll.

Offline Che Gookin

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« Reply #138 on: October 14, 2007, 07:09:24 AM »
You've the makings of a great mom. Keep at it Settle fo' nutin gurl.
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Offline SettleForNothingLess

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« Reply #139 on: October 14, 2007, 07:11:24 AM »
No offense, but I aint havin no kids.... 6 dogs is enough
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Yours Truly,
Ms. Vigilante
Im standing on the frontline, there waiting for you PV bitches. Lets rock n roll.

Offline psy

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QAa
« Reply #140 on: October 15, 2007, 12:29:51 PM »
Quote from: ""TheWho""
Quote from: ""Guest""
Quote from: ""Guest""
For a new arrival, A Parent certainly knows how to handle the quotes, yep.  Like a damn pro at it.

Indeed.

I think it's an attempt at "renormalization" by the programmies- they don't have real people espousing the values that they want espoused, so they have to invent some.

Unfortunately they're nowhere near as smart nor as good at fiction as the people on our side of the fence, so their attempts pale by comparison when we do it.

Ha,Ha,Ha, I love that one.....

Ha,Ha,HA, once again, you're showing your true colors...  That's right, Who, It's all in our fucked up little druggie heads that this shit happened to us and happens every day and nobody, especially the parents, seem to want to deal with the reality of the situation...  Who can blame them.  Pre-program parents are seduced by the idea of something that will finally work. (but not all.  Some parents are just sick (like the above).  Well...  to avoid derailing this thread, a parent asked on this board what they shoudl do?  well?  You really want an honest answer?

My advice to this particular, and these types of parents is to stop trying to shove the kid back up the twat. It isn't going to work (they grow...  they don't fit).  Kids distance themselves from their parents during teenage years.  It's a normal part of growing up.  Like a government, when parents take away liberty, the people rebel.  It's natural and just.  Some stuff made sense, such as "no stealing"... but ...  CD restrictions?  Searching his iPod?  Do you have any respect for his right to make up his own mind?  (ability is irrelevant, by judging him, and thinking for him you suffocate his ability to learn by doing, or perhaps even thinking about issues, however controversial)  The ratings board will stick an explicit sticker on an entire CD for a single mention of the word, "fuck".  As if he doesn't hear "fuck" at high school or hear it whispered by his girl-friend followed by "me harder" (at least he isn't gay).  If she isn't on the pill, talk to her mom.

Sure the kid has an anger problem, but he should be talking to a shrink about that, not a cult leader (which is what he'll get in a program).  Are all programs dangerous/corrupt/abusive?  Theoretically, yes and no...  But practically, yes...  Because you really can't tell.  Some programs get away with incredible atrocities for decades before they get shut down, and when they do...  They find a way to re-open or shuffle around.

What to do about his violence?  Well.  Buy a solid wood door for your bedroom, install a deadbolt yourself(*) or hire a locksmith to do it.  If he gets angry, go to your room, put on some bose earphones and blast some deftones or something so you won't hear the background smashing, etc, etc (**)...

What to do about the smashed shit?  Well.  Simply do nothing.  I mean literally nothing.  If you have dogs, take them into the back yard but do not clean up anything.  Act as if everything is normal.  Invite friends over, and when they ask what happened, tell them nothing, but call your son and have him explain, so that he can give his side of the story first.  If he refuses, tell the guests so, and if they ask why you aren't cleaning up, tell them that you didn't make the mess, so why should you have to clean it up... Don't tell your son guests are coming over, just do it.  If he complains that you didn't tell him, tell him that you don't have to tell him who you associate with, and it's none of his business when anybody comes over.  Do this until he either cleans it up himself, realizes that he needs to chill the fuck out, or both.  I think you both need to respect each other's boundries and find a way to co-exist. Find out what pisses him off and figure out a way to alleviate that as well, give him more freedom and let him deal with the consequences if he gets in trouble...  but have compassion.  Family is family and if it's a criminal record we're talking about, everybody needs second chances, especially with ill-concieved zero-tolerance laws clogging up the jails, destroying lives.  My opinion is you should offer him a reasonable, but small allowance until he finds a job.

Do you see what I am saying?  What you have to do (in my opinion) is to get him to experience the consequences of his own actions, with no interferance from you.  Then again.  I'm not an expert in raising a kid.  Neither are program staff, "coaches" and arguably even psychologists.  You know your kid better than anybody else.  I can offer some advice, but ultimately you're going to have to figure out something to do (or not do).  I do know one thing for sure: that a program is not the answer and will make things much much worse in most cases.  Don't believe me?  Ok, but you're taking a dangerous risk with your kid's sanity, future, and safety.

* (it takes a drill, a hole saw (attachment for the drill bit) and, dedpending on the door, i believe, a 1 inch in diameter drillbit to drill in the side.  The rest you should have if you have a drill.

** I am not knocking the deftones, but you have to admit, if there is music that can distract at high volume, that would be it.
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"Our services are free; we do not make a profit. Parents of troubled teens ourselves, PURE strives to create a safe haven of truth and reality." - Sue Scheff - August 13th, 2007 (fukkin surreal)

Offline Nihilanthic

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« Reply #141 on: October 15, 2007, 12:41:58 PM »
Funny how they treat anger problems by instigating them in the programmie-mindset, isn't it?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
DannyB on the internet:I CALLED A LAWYER TODAY TO SEE IF I COULD SUE YOUR ASSES FOR DOING THIS BUT THAT WAS NOT POSSIBLE.

CCMGirl on program restraints: "DON\'T TAZ ME BRO!!!!!"

TheWho on program survivors: "From where I sit I see all the anit-program[sic] people doing all the complaining and crying."

Offline Froderik

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« Reply #142 on: October 15, 2007, 01:06:46 PM »
Quote from: ""Nihilanthic""
Funny how they treat anger problems by instigating them in the programmie-mindset, isn't it?

Where can I order one of these programmie mindsets? Do they come with a warranty?
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Offline psy

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Holding parents accountable
« Reply #143 on: October 15, 2007, 01:11:02 PM »
Quote from: ""Froderik""
Quote from: ""Nihilanthic""
Funny how they treat anger problems by instigating them in the programmie-mindset, isn't it?
Where can I order one of these programmie mindsets? Do they come with a warranty?

No warranty, or guarantee (except to explode shortly after "graduation")... kaBOOM!  and it's back to program again...  Automatic return to sender feature.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Benchmark Young Adult School - bad place [archive.org link]
Sue Scheff Truth - Blog on Sue Scheff
"Our services are free; we do not make a profit. Parents of troubled teens ourselves, PURE strives to create a safe haven of truth and reality." - Sue Scheff - August 13th, 2007 (fukkin surreal)

Offline Nihilanthic

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« Reply #144 on: October 15, 2007, 01:21:41 PM »
Speaking of return to sender, put down the joint!

You haven't replied in AIM in a week!  :wink:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
DannyB on the internet:I CALLED A LAWYER TODAY TO SEE IF I COULD SUE YOUR ASSES FOR DOING THIS BUT THAT WAS NOT POSSIBLE.

CCMGirl on program restraints: "DON\'T TAZ ME BRO!!!!!"

TheWho on program survivors: "From where I sit I see all the anit-program[sic] people doing all the complaining and crying."

Offline Che Gookin

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« Reply #145 on: October 16, 2007, 02:23:59 AM »
wierd how a parent shows up ON this thread of all threads... Just plain strange and odd...

You would think they would start one of their own.


I wonder who is up to their trolling again?
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Offline Che Gookin

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« Reply #146 on: October 16, 2007, 02:56:09 AM »
Quote from: ""Oz girl""

All cheap shots aside...


Actually, your cheap shot really did show your true colors. Interesting...
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