Author Topic: question about relationships  (Read 3150 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline xdevildogs

  • Posts: 5
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
question about relationships
« Reply #15 on: February 08, 2004, 12:48:00 AM »
I am now married (again) after going through some lousy relationships. This time it feels different though, probably because I've started to deal with all the Straight garbage.

Straight taught me to yell, cuss, fight to get what I thought was right...though most of the time I was wrong! It took me two severe beatings from an ex and lots of drugs to make me realize that there had to be more to life than misery.

I now choose to be drug free, and to do that I have to deal with the Straight shit.  And sometimes it feels like I'm going through hell, but I'll be better off in the long run.

I have a wonderful daughter, and an extremely understanding and loving husband. These two people honestly support me, and love me no matter what kind of hell I have gone through. I know they are always going to be there for me. At first I was scared to share all this with them, but now know that they aren't going anywhere just because they know what I can be.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Cleopatra2U

  • Posts: 118
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
    • http://360.yahoo.com/cleopatra2u
question about relationships
« Reply #16 on: February 08, 2004, 12:51:00 AM »
Kewl, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who's having a bad day. ::ftard::

Therion, you made a very good point when you said "the rich man today is sometimes the homeless guy of next year."

I might be having a bad day today, but tomorrow...  Tomorrow could be different.  ("shit happens, and nothing is permanent")

~ Mindi
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
he trouble with trouble is it starts out as fun.

Offline Therion

  • Posts: 927
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
question about relationships
« Reply #17 on: February 08, 2004, 12:58:00 AM »
Welp Im glad for you..

I have exactly Jack shit going for me...

And Im starting to really care less and less..
I think Ive just had it with people and love and all that shit...its just utter fucking crap

_________________
I'm sick and tired of embracing reflections of past time receive me,
or cast me away
...God please take me away,
resistance futile ,suicidal ideas I will crucify my own being.. Satisfy
selfish needs ,fuck the deities

[ This Message was edited by: Therion on 2004-02-07 22:14 ]
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
aving the way for the new breed of bad seed

Offline Therion

  • Posts: 927
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
question about relationships
« Reply #18 on: February 08, 2004, 01:17:00 AM »
Quote
On 2004-02-07 21:51:00, Cleopatra2U wrote:

"Kewl, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who's having a bad day. ::ftard::



Therion, you made a very good point when you said "the rich man today is sometimes the homeless guy of next year."



I might be having a bad day today, but tomorrow...  Tomorrow could be different.  ("shit happens, and nothing is permanent")



~ Mindi







"


Bet ya a dollar my day is worse than yours
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
aving the way for the new breed of bad seed

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164659
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
question about relationships
« Reply #19 on: February 08, 2004, 01:19:00 AM »
Quote
On 2004-02-07 22:17:00, Therion wrote:


Bet ya a dollar my day is worse than yours


I wish I could, but I don't have a dollar to my name at the moment (just part of the reason I'm having a shitty day today).

~ Mindi
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Cleopatra2U

  • Posts: 118
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
    • http://360.yahoo.com/cleopatra2u
question about relationships
« Reply #20 on: February 08, 2004, 01:21:00 AM »
...and to top it all off, I am obviously too stupid to work this board, since my last post was from a bag-head...   :roll:

~ Mindi
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
he trouble with trouble is it starts out as fun.

Offline Therion

  • Posts: 927
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
question about relationships
« Reply #21 on: February 08, 2004, 01:40:00 AM »
_________________
I'm sick and tired of embracing reflections of past time receive me,
or cast me away
...God please take me away,
resistance futile ,suicidal ideas I will crucify my own being.. Satisfy
selfish needs ,fuck the deities
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
aving the way for the new breed of bad seed

Offline Therion

  • Posts: 927
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
question about relationships
« Reply #22 on: February 08, 2004, 01:40:00 AM »
Its hard to be loveable when you are fucking nuts  :scared:  :scared:  :scared:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
aving the way for the new breed of bad seed

Offline ehm

  • Posts: 1123
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
question about relationships
« Reply #23 on: February 08, 2004, 04:33:00 PM »
I finally found my soulmate. It seems like it took forever, and before meeting him, I feel I had some difficult, unhappy, relationships. I learned something about myself in each one though. We haven't been together more than three years, but I feel lucky. I just somehow "know" he's the one. We accept everything about eachother.

It really puzzles me to see Marijuana connected with Narcotics - Dope and all that crap?it's a thousand times better than whiskey - it's an Assistant - a friend.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000002ORZ/circlofmiamithem' target='_new'>Louis Armstrong

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Therion

  • Posts: 927
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
question about relationships
« Reply #24 on: February 08, 2004, 09:47:00 PM »
Im glad for you Morli...you guys make an awesome couple and I can tell when I talk to you how happy you are...

And you deserve it...

We all do...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
aving the way for the new breed of bad seed

Offline taureana

  • Posts: 217
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
question about relationships
« Reply #25 on: February 08, 2004, 11:51:00 PM »
Quote
On 2004-02-07 00:00:00, Therion wrote:

" Yah Ive had some bad ones and a couple of awesome relationships.

 But I dont regret them ,I learned alot from each one.( I know that sounds like BS but its true)



 And Ive had some good times..If I died tomorrow I would feel somewhat like Ive experienced alot of what life has to offer...although Im barely 30 and look 19 so I have many years to come (barring a tragedy or act of god)



 Im trying not to get too far ahead of myself..and I think Ive done what I needed to do in the last year of my absence from society (I went thru nasty ass divorce...locked myself in the house, and once again started dancing with the devil...then took another year to clean up again)

 But that divorce signaled much more than the end of Lisa and I's life together. I accomplished more in my life while I was with her than I ever had on my own...I was just out of a 3 year jail term and met her. Started with like 2 pairs of clothes and found a job and kicked ass at it        





...bought a car for myself as well as paying for her car..got a nice place..moved out of state..We werent rich..but fuck we were doing good..bills were paid we had new clothes on..were able to take vacations...I mean we were doing pretty good and I was happy and proud..and oh so much in love with her



When we decided it was over......

 All I had worked for..and all I had built my self esteem on was just gone..And I went into a lost depression like I had never felt before..

It was pretty bad..I mean there were times that I just stayed in bed for weeks...and I wasnt even using again yet..Wouldnt talk to people..nothing..





I spent almost 2 years just trying daily to convince myself that my life wasnt over..that I should live...I just wanted to die so fucking bad for so long...and it was like a spearhead of my whole life..My parents-Straight-drugs-jail--then the divorce..





 So many times I pulled through and started from scratch with just my clothes ( and Im not being materialistic just conveying to you that I had lost everything but the clothes on me)



We worked together..so I lost my job...I payed rent to her Grandfather (whom owns houses and apts etc) so I had to leave of course...anyways I had no choice but to pack what little shit fit in my little car and head home to Fathers house (whom my mother told to Lock me out and make me sleep in my car)



 Granted I chose the wrong way to deal with it and the dope just set me back longer..totally my fault...Ive made alot of mistakes and always take full credit and punishment



 But anyway..I tried, I really did...but sometimes things just run their own course..and I try to pick myself up...understand what went wrong..and try to forge ahead with a new understanding of what not to do..and how I can better be a friend...or lover...or brother to the people that I care about..



 And yes Im neurotic as hell...as if my posts on the boards didnt give you a clue..and if you were to ask the few that know me well they will confirm my lunacy...No Im not the most mature, or successful person for a 30 year old..I really dont have much at all...just the basics..



 Like she said before that guy has a new car and house etc etc..

 I dont really have shit...but most of those dear to me love me regardless..Success comes and goes and I dont think its fair to call someone a loser..people have down and out times..7 years ago I had a brand new car...nice job, clothes..awesome apt etc...then one year later I was behind bars and owned nothing but the ink in my skin...and a toothbrush..



 But anyways..none of you guys should ever feel down when you come on hard times..shit happens, and nothing is permanent...the rich man today is sometimes the homeless guy of next year.



 You guys are all so strong and self aware...amazing people..



I dont know some of you..and some dont care for me..but either way...each one of you is strong and unique and alive..and for that Im greatful..

even for the ones that I argue with..Im glad youre alive to argue with me another day



 I hope all you guys find that special someone thats out there...Everyone has a soulmate I think...mabey serveral who knows..but once you find someone that makes you happy hold on tight.and love ajnd understand them..and try to realize how special it is to have someone as a partner ::heart::  ::heart:: NEVER take love for granted



_________________

I'm sick and tired of embracing reflections of past time receive me,

or cast me away

...God please take me away,

resistance futile ,suicidal ideas I will crucify my own being.. Satisfy

selfish needs ,fuck the deities



[ This Message was edited by: Therion on 2004-02-07 00:03 ]



[ This Message was edited by: Therion on 2004-02-07 00:04 ]

[ This Message was edited by: Therion on 2004-02-07 00:14 ]"

Thank you, Therion.  For your amazing post and opening up so much to us.  Sometimes it seems like all you have to share is bitterness.  Good to see you're still alive inside.  :smile:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Therion

  • Posts: 927
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
question about relationships
« Reply #26 on: February 09, 2004, 01:51:00 AM »
Well Im in a valley is all...Peaks and Valleys

Life comes in waves....constant action/reaction
And my life changes dramatically over short periods of time..I guess its just my personality..and a bit of luck..In 6 months Ill be back on top of the world...

 Thanks for listening

Im one of those people that has to talk my way through everything...Constantly juggling ideas and viewpoints..ANd trying to keep up with racing thoughts and mania...Hence my deleted posts..I am merely exploring my psyche..and diffrent viewpoints...out loud...and those ideas become irrelivant fast..therefore I delete them..

 Makes perfect sense to me...and thats the best I can explain it...hope you understand...

 Dont worry Ill eventually find other terrain and dissapear as fast as I showed up..

        Peace...B

 

_________________
The voice of Rallos Zek the Warlord booms in your mind "Flee whelps! Flee from the might of the warlord!"
LOADING.......Please Wait

[ This Message was edited by: Therion on 2004-02-08 22:54 ]
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
aving the way for the new breed of bad seed